[00:00:00] Carl Lanore: [00:00:00] that user can mean only one thing. Today, it's open season on men with my cohost, John Romano, who's joining just a moment before we do that. Of course, uh, the date today, February 17 2020 for those of you listening to the show a hundred years from now and a hundred years from now, I hope the things we talk about today have actually changed.
[00:00:21] If you're a guy a hundred years from now, I hope you listen to this and go, wow, can't believe how bad it was for guys back in the day when they went through divorce. We're going to be talking about divorce in America. A lot of this also pertains to other countries as well. Um, and uh, I also want to mention our title sponsor.
[00:00:42] John Romano: [00:00:42] Uh,
[00:00:43] Carl Lanore: [00:00:43] and that is legendary foods. They now have the most amazing, uh, tasty pastry, which is like a pop tart with nine grams of protein, less than one gram of sugar. A four for three to four grams of impact carbohydrates to delicious. I'm adding them [00:01:00] and apparently the whole world is out of them because they ought to make more.
[00:01:03] That's how fast they
[00:01:05] John Romano: [00:01:05] went through them.
[00:01:06] Carl Lanore: [00:01:06] And, uh, you can go to eat legendary.com to learn more. If you go to my website, dot net and click one of the legendary food banner ads, you'll be transported to a page where you can get on a list and be notified as soon as
[00:01:21] John Romano: [00:01:21] they are available. Without further delay, uh, we bring on
[00:01:25] Carl Lanore: [00:01:25] John Romano.
[00:01:26] Hi John. How are you doing?
[00:01:28] John Romano: [00:01:28] Hey, what's up Carl? How are you doing? Wonderful
[00:01:30] Carl Lanore: [00:01:30] on the phone. You know, I also want to say something else. I want to preface, I want, I wanted to make sure to say this at the top of the show. This is not a woman bashing
[00:01:40] John Romano: [00:01:40] discussion today.
[00:01:42] Carl Lanore: [00:01:42] All the things we're going to talk about a factual, they're real.
[00:01:45] And I'll tell you who else knows about this besides men who've been through divorce, and that is the women who get them after the divorce, who fall in love with these poor SAPs that have gone through a horrible divorce and have to live with. [00:02:00] The damage done to the people that they love, the guys that they love.
[00:02:03] So there's a lot of women out there who will stand up and say, man, you are so right. Because my husband had to go through all that when he went through a divorce as well. So this is this, you know, this is not a woman bashing show. There's a lot of women out there who are on this side of the fence too, because
[00:02:19] John Romano: [00:02:19] they happen to be the
[00:02:20] Carl Lanore: [00:02:20] big breadwinners.
[00:02:24] Really? That's what it is, right John? It doesn't. This come down to about money. Isn't this all about money?
[00:02:29] John Romano: [00:02:29] Well, I think it's just them bashing. You know, and we're, we're bashing the system. Not, not, not, not the victims, which are not only the husband and the wife, but the potential kids. Yes. To which it, it's, it's still a terrace for all the system is bad for all of them.
[00:02:45] And it, because it allows one or the other party, or sometimes both to not only, you know, do some terrible things to each other financially and emotionally, but also the kids. And, and it's, [00:03:00] you know, where the show is against that. Um, you know, unfortunately, statistics line up in such a way that puts women in the driver's seat in a lot of these cases, and, you know, to the, to the detriment of the, of the guy involved.
[00:03:14] So,
[00:03:15] Carl Lanore: [00:03:15] so divorce has been around since the 17 hundreds when a man decided to go pursue a new life and leave his wife and children. To starve, basically, because they weren't able to provide for themselves. And so in the 17 hundreds, uh, legal systems around the globe said, women need to be protected and they put the burden on men to help their families.
[00:03:40] Now, this is important because around the 1970s, it started to change. Uh, and around the 1970s, it wasn't just about helping. It was literally about, uh, putting the burden. Of everything on top of the big, the larger wage earner, which happened to be [00:04:00] exclusively men, uh, pretty much so and, and still pretty much so.
[00:04:04] And it turned into something different that was driven by, by, uh, um, greedy attorneys and people who felt that financially crushing, another human being was just deserved. Uh, because of the divorce.
[00:04:22] John Romano: [00:04:22] It was punishment. It was punishment. The boy, if you got divorced, you got PR. If you were a male who got divorced, you were getting get punished that that, that is the system.
[00:04:33] God forbid you do not maintain your marriage, you will be severely punished. And I know guys who have been, and I'm sure you do too, Carl, who have been absolutely ruined. Financially ruined. It could tend to never recover again from the, the, the punishment bestowed upon them by the, the, you know, probably a liberal, right.
[00:04:57] The system.
[00:04:58] Carl Lanore: [00:04:58] So, so, so, and, and, [00:05:00] and it's such a common situation that we regularly see on TV sitcoms. Uh, someone who's been crushed financially by a divorce and has to live with a friend,
[00:05:11] John Romano: [00:05:11] or is,
[00:05:12] Carl Lanore: [00:05:12] is, you know, is complaining that they don't have money to have their car fixed. But, uh, you know, the ex wife is demanding her, her alimony check.
[00:05:21] And we see this constantly. And in fact, the, the, the one that most people probably know, uh, is from two and a half men. Uh, you know, uh, Allen, the brother of Charlie sheen can't afford to live on his own because he has to give his ex wife so much money who's now moved on and married. But she, he, he still has to give it to him because there's lots of States that are lifetime, uh, alimony state.
[00:05:46] So we're going to talk about that later. So let's start off with some statistics that are really impactful. This is a really big one. So you are going to get married and you think that you're the one [00:06:00] that never going to end up in divorce. Well, 40 up to 45% of first time marriages end up in divorce. And now you would think that second and third time marriages would like not have the divorce rate cause you learn some lessons.
[00:06:13] But instead, 60% of second time marriages and 73% of third marriages all end in divorce. Think about that. I mean, the odds are against you right now. If you are stepping into a marriage, Adria against you, that your marriage is going to be lifelong.
[00:06:33] John Romano: [00:06:33] That's terrible.
[00:06:34] Carl Lanore: [00:06:34] I know.
[00:06:36] John Romano: [00:06:36] You'd think you would think it would be the other way around, but I guess by the time you were on your third one around, you're getting used to it.
[00:06:42] So, um, you know, four and five are going to be even easier, you know,
[00:06:46] Carl Lanore: [00:06:46] to get out of. And maybe, and maybe the people who end up, like, I would never get married again cause I've been through it once and I went through a divorce and I would like never ever put myself in that position again. So maybe the people who end up in second [00:07:00] divorces and third divorces.
[00:07:01] Maybe they just really broken people to begin with, so they just keep taking their
[00:07:05] John Romano: [00:07:05] broken lives along with them. You know, there's people who have issues that never get them resolved, and they end up going from one marriage to the next with lower, and with the bar moving lower and lower in each successive.
[00:07:19] You know, jump. So there's, you got the psychological patterns that are, you know, follow divorces, you know, or something that people should focus on to some degree. But, um, the idea of it, I just laugh at it. I mean, so every success of marriage you have, you have a higher degree of higher chance of getting divorced.
[00:07:42] I think by the time you're entering into your, your third, fourth, or fifth marriage, you pretty much have. A lock on how, what the parameters are going to be moving in and you're you, you're not going to spend enough time together to have to amass any kind of, you know, wealth management, wealth distribution.
[00:07:57] You'll probably take care of that on the, on the way [00:08:00] going in. So. I, I think it becomes, I think because the financial ramifications are fewer, the further the more marriages you have, that the easier it is to have a divorce. And so there's probably fewer kids involved. There's less money involved, is less property involved.
[00:08:18] So, um, you know,
[00:08:22] Carl Lanore: [00:08:22] think about a John, if you, if you, if a woman marries a guy and he carries a go bag and he's not an airline pilot. Or a CIA, he's probably going to be leaving pretty soon. Right.
[00:08:33] John Romano: [00:08:33] But yeah, I'm on my fifth marriage. I'll let me just get the top and get my duffel bag.
[00:08:36] Carl Lanore: [00:08:36] Yeah. I just keep my doubles.
[00:08:38] John Romano: [00:08:38] That's all I got. You got nothing coming, girl. So, I mean, you want to get the forest, it's going to be really easy. I got nothing, you know?
[00:08:44] Carl Lanore: [00:08:44] So that was another fun fact, right? So we have a, a very new phenomenon, right? We have same sex marriages today and you know, and, and those in the, in the same sex community, uh, you know, LBGT community.
[00:08:58] They fought for the right to get [00:09:00] married and guys like you and me, I'm going to make a bet you and I have, we didn't talk about this for the show, but I'm going to make a bet that when we, you will watch a TV and there's somebody on there from the LBGT community saying, you know, we deserve to be able to get married and, and share all those benefits that you've said to the TV.
[00:09:18] Yeah. And you could get divorced too, and see what that's like. Right, right. Well, guess what? It's happening. So, so even though same sex marriage, same sex marriages are fairly new, but they've, they're already at 50% of what heterosexual marriages are in divorce, about 1%, uh, of same sex versus about 2% of straight couples.
[00:09:41] So they're getting divorced just as much as well.
[00:09:44] John Romano: [00:09:44] Wow. Why would we sit inevitable? I mean, it's, it's, I don't think, I don't think. Getting along in a marriage has anything to do with what sex you are. It's just, it's, it's more pragmatic, you know, social issues and emotional issues that [00:10:00] make, make your relationship, you know, going to stay or not, I don't think.
[00:10:03] And what sex you are, has anything to do with it. It's the dynamics of. It's the dynamics of two people living together in a romantic situation as it gets difficult. But it's
[00:10:13] Carl Lanore: [00:10:13] even, it's even more complex than that, John, because you and I could live together as buddies, right? And you'd be like, car, right?
[00:10:18] You know, put the dishes in the dishwasher. And I'd be like, okay, but there's something happens and I, I, someone wants said this to me, and I really believe it, and this is true in same sex marriages too. You know, you have an idea of what a wife is, and you have an idea of what a husband is. And your partner, whether it's the same sex marriage or not, has an idea of what a wife is and it has an idea of what a husband is.
[00:10:43] And so when you come together, it's almost impossible for you guys to realize the dynamics of the fact that you just don't jive on what you think each other's jobs have become. And that's the difference because in friends, I don't [00:11:00] expect a friend of mine to telepathically know what I'm thinking. But once you're in a really loving relationship, I give you can't like, I can't believe you did that.
[00:11:10] Well, I didn't know that you didn't like that. Well, have you? It's like, wait a minute. I'm not a frigging mind reader. I didn't know. Just tell me. See, friends will say, John, man, you piss it on the floor for Christ's sake. Just clean it up. Right. Well,
[00:11:23] John Romano: [00:11:23] you're, it's one of your nesting, you know, and when, when you're with, when you're with the.
[00:11:28] You know, a companion or romantic companion, you're nesting. You're not roommates. Like, you know, like we would be so, you know, w when you, when your roommates, yeah. You tell, you look who take the garbage out, you know, Tuesday's your day, you know, whatever. I mean, whatever rules you, you, you know, you set up the, the, the roommate arrangement with, when you're nesting, it's completely different.
[00:11:48] It's that you take on, you know, typical, you know, male, female or however you want to dice it up in the. Gay community, whatever. I mean opposite ends of opposite the opposites that [00:12:00] have attracted to create a root to create this couple. You aren't living together. You're nesting, and there's going to be things about the other person that you know, like you said, you've got to read minds.
[00:12:12] You got, there's all kinds of dynamics that get mushed together and changed in. Twins
[00:12:18] Carl Lanore: [00:12:18] unspoken.
[00:12:19] John Romano: [00:12:19] They're unspoken, right? When it's a romantic relationship, when it's not a romantic relation, you never,
[00:12:24] Carl Lanore: [00:12:24] nothing unspoken. It's nothing unspoken. Dude, I'm going to be, I'm going to be a Wednesday night when my girlfriend don't come home.
[00:12:30] Okay. And you wouldn't go, what do you mean, don't come home like, you know what I mean? It's like it becomes an emotional thing. Then all of a sudden, you know, you'd be like, okay, I'll sleep at somebody else's house. Right.
[00:12:41] John Romano: [00:12:41] What age? Whatever the case. I mean, you know, we've, you know, we've all been there, but.
[00:12:45] But in, in a, in a romantic relationship, there's so much more dynamic to deal with. And, and where's the instruction manual? You know, who, where, when do you, where do you learn, where does the guy [00:13:00] learn to speak? Girl. W what, what university is that taught in? You know, and why? I mean, and there's four years of it that you gotta learn before you can go and communicate with a woman in a, in a relationship.
[00:13:11] So, I mean, you're, you're tossed into this situation even by your own volition and, and what you're expected to just, it's just supposed to work and it's just, you don't know how to make it work. You don't know. You didn't know what you were getting into when you got into it. And now. Okay. It doesn't work.
[00:13:28] It does. It doesn't matter what sex you are. It just matters that the living together dynamic creates issues that are either going to be tolerable or intolerable, and then you got to deal with them.
[00:13:38] Carl Lanore: [00:13:38] The average length of a marriage today ends in divorce in eight years if it's going to
[00:13:44] John Romano: [00:13:44] end up in the divorce, if
[00:13:45] Carl Lanore: [00:13:45] you're one of those percentages.
[00:13:47] And here's another interesting, very, very sad fact. Alimony in the USA, only 3% of men receive alimony after divorce. That means 97% of women receive [00:14:00] receive alimony. Now think about this for a second. Given the context of ,
[00:14:05] John Romano: [00:14:05] does it really mean that it's this? 3% of men receive alimony, F this sorts of 97% of men who are divorced don't, but that's not percentage of, that's not, doesn't necessarily extrapolate to 93 7% of women are getting.
[00:14:20] Alimony, just because 3% of men are not.
[00:14:24] Carl Lanore: [00:14:24] That's a good point. That's a good point. I thought that's what
[00:14:27] John Romano: [00:14:27] I would like to clarify. Yeah, I think I don't really, yeah,
[00:14:30] Carl Lanore: [00:14:30] so you're saying, I think could be, there could be a lot of women who don't get alimony at all, but then wouldn't the 3% be ho no, and so I, I, some people just walk away with nothing.
[00:14:44] I got ya. I don't know you why we split up. We split up the house and everything.
[00:14:48] John Romano: [00:14:48] 97% of men divorced men are walking away with nothing. 3% of the divorced men are getting alimony.
[00:14:56] Carl Lanore: [00:14:56] Right. And I'm saying no. I'm saying I know. They know. Hi. [00:15:00] Yeah. I know somebody who just went through a divorce. His wife was the big earner.
[00:15:04] John Romano: [00:15:04] Right.
[00:15:05] Carl Lanore: [00:15:05] Okay. And he thought for sure that a judge was going to expect, but he was, they were married for a long time. And he thought for sure that the judge was going to say, you know, well, he deserves to have, maintain his lifestyle. His lifestyle is going to drop because that's what women, you know, judges.
[00:15:23] Oh, well, she has to maintain her lifestyle. Why. Why does she have to maintain a certain lifestyle? I don't know
[00:15:30] John Romano: [00:15:30] why and why not the guy.
[00:15:31] Carl Lanore: [00:15:31] Yeah, and he walked away with zero. He didn't get anything, but he didn't have to pay her because she made a lot of money.
[00:15:37] John Romano: [00:15:37] Or at least he had, that's like getting, that's like getting alimony,
[00:15:40] Carl Lanore: [00:15:40] but, but, but think about this.
[00:15:41] If I had the gender's been switched, had he been the big earner, she would have walked away with something, some money. Of course,
[00:15:48] John Romano: [00:15:48] every month. Of course it's, it's slanted to the detriment of the guy. It's like I said before, it's punishment. It is designed to be punishment.
[00:15:58] Carl Lanore: [00:15:58] Now, the [00:16:00] problem with divorces, there are divorce.
[00:16:02] There are alimony laws that are very, very specific. But the problem is that judges have a lot of latitude on how they can rule, what they can assign. It's not they. So your divorce attorney will tell you there's a formula for calculating your divorce, your, your, your, your alimony if you're the person paying alimony.
[00:16:23] But that formula is not really a formula. It's not like two plus two equals four because then they offer the judge overseeing the case. To be very, very, very broad with what he determines or she determines. And there are a lot of female judges today that the lower wage earning spouse should get in the K in the form of your remuneration.
[00:16:52] This was shown, uh, recently, um. When they asked, they did a search, a New York times did a survey in, in, uh, in the [00:17:00] state of Ohio. And they found out that these judges had a lot of inconsistency looking at the, they gave judges the same case to look at. And Dale was a ridiculous, uh, uh, disparity between what they came up with.
[00:17:16] So here's the formula, John, they're supposed to take 30% of the top wage earning spouse. Let's say it's the guy and he makes $100,000 a year and then subtract 20% of the low wage earning spouse. So let's say she makes 45 so that's 9,000 so he should be paying her 21,000 a year for a specified period of time, and they use how many years you were married to come up with that?
[00:17:44] I don't know any, I don't know any divorce, including mine, that that's how it was calculated.
[00:17:51] John Romano: [00:17:51] No, I don't. I've never heard of that. And then it wouldn't make sense for, for, for most people. I mean, that's ridiculous. [00:18:00] I
[00:18:00] Carl Lanore: [00:18:00] guess if you're unencumbered and you didn't own anything and you didn't have any children, maybe that is the math that they use for like people who got married at 26 to get divorced at 30
[00:18:11] John Romano: [00:18:11] you know, but the job, but the judge still has a tremendous discretion, and that
[00:18:15] Carl Lanore: [00:18:15] is, so here's the, here's this, speaks to that.
[00:18:18] I want you to talk about this. So that same group in Ohio that New York times did the survey. They gave judges the same specifics about this divorce. He's a doctor, she's a homemaker. Here's how much money they have. Here's what they were home was worried about, blah, blah, blah. And the judges estimated as little as 5,000 a year to $175,000 a year.
[00:18:43] If that doesn't piss you off, something's wrong with you.
[00:18:48] John Romano: [00:18:48] Well, and now. So which judges were liberal in which word? That's the question because I guarantee you the liberal judges are empty in the guy's pocket.
[00:18:56] Carl Lanore: [00:18:56] Well, because he deserves it,
[00:18:57] John Romano: [00:18:57] of course, because he deserves these deserves to be [00:19:00] punished. This is, this is w divorce.
[00:19:04] Alimony. This whole part of family law is, in my opinion. You know, lady Liberty is supposed to be wearing a blindfold, right. Okay. When it was with respect to this, the blind fold is that the cleaners are wearing it, right. All right. Because this is absolutely across the board, a bias against men. So where does the blind justice.
[00:19:27] You know, for F for these judges to calculate, you know, these, these percentages of incomes and worth and everything. When you know it's, it's unilaterally canted to the favor of against or is unilaterally calculated to, to the detriment of the male
[00:19:45] Carl Lanore: [00:19:45] category. The reason why we're saying males is because in divorce, the man usually ends up paying the money because he's usually the major breadwinner.
[00:19:56] When the woman is a major breadwinner, she faced, he's faced with [00:20:00] this too, but it just isn't as severe as it is. When is demand.
[00:20:05] John Romano: [00:20:05] The example you just gave your, your your friend. Okay. Why did he walk away from the, the, the, the divorce with nothing when he wasn't the
[00:20:12] Carl Lanore: [00:20:12] most, he was a man cause he was a man.
[00:20:14] John Romano: [00:20:14] He was a man.
[00:20:15] Like can you, you said if it was twisted around and that's why I say lady Liberty, you're not wearing your blindfold in these cases because this is not blind justice. Absolutely not. Well, and it's been going on. You know what it's been going on for so long. It's the brunt of jokes. It's, it's, it's so ingrained in the, in the American lexicon that eat the guy is going to get fucked if you were to get divorced.
[00:20:38] If you're a guy, if you're, especially if you're, if you're upper middle class white guy, you're going to get . Fucked in your divorce, that is going to be the worst form of punishment you are ever going to receive in your entire life. And if you have kids, it's going to get 100% worse, right? And it's, and, and, and you are going to pay for it, for the rent, for the next foreseeable [00:21:00] rest of your life.
[00:21:01] Carl Lanore: [00:21:01] And I don't want to look at it. And I want to just look at this one fact here from this study that the judges were given all the same criteria for it to make an alimony judgment. And the lowest was 5,000 and the highest was 175,000 I want, I want to speak to people in the audience and to their logic.
[00:21:20] Imagine if you were given a different price for a hamburger at McDonald's than I was. What if you bought the same exact meal and I got it for $4 they wanted you to pay $24 you'd be pissed off. You'd be like, Whoa. What is it? And then you'd start searching. Why are they doing that to me now, if that was because of the color of your skin or who you prayed to, uh, you, you, you would have the HCLU behind you suing that company.
[00:21:50] But it's done every single day in court and it's done to men in court and no one gives a hoot. And guys, we, what do we do? [00:22:00] We're not like women, women. They, they don't just complain, they do stuff, they unify, unify their opinions and they move as an army and they do stuff. And where guys, we just go, we bitch like, you know, I, my call broke.
[00:22:12] I don't even have the money to pay for my car cause I gotta send my, my ex to her alimony payment. Nobody gives a damn about the guy in this scenario. It's okay. It's okay to be discriminated against.
[00:22:25] John Romano: [00:22:25] It's, it's, yeah, that's an incredibly good point because you're right. And any other stitches, why? I said the blindfolds off the blindfold is off in, in this case regarding men, because it would be absolutely discriminatory in any other, in any other way that it was, that it was biased and it's just incredibly unfair
[00:22:48] Carl Lanore: [00:22:48] and you know,
[00:22:49] John Romano: [00:22:49] but you know, I wanted aware.
[00:22:52] Where did this come from? Was this some leftover, puritanical belief that was fostered into the, into the mindset, you know, years [00:23:00] ago that, you know, once you marry, that's it. It's forever. And if you don't stay married, you're committing a sin and you deserve to be, you know, you deserve self-flagellation for the rest of your life.
[00:23:10] Uh, you know why? While you're writing checks to somebody you hate and, and it's, it's, where did this come from? Where did it come from
[00:23:17] Carl Lanore: [00:23:17] in the 70s and the 70s the attorneys. That handled divorces started to realize that if they could make the spouses enemies, they could literally drain the marriage of a lot of money.
[00:23:35] By. Becoming, as you pointed out, turning divorce settlements into punitive damages
[00:23:41] John Romano: [00:23:41] and alimony and the attorneys are getting their fees. Well, that makes sense.
[00:23:46] Carl Lanore: [00:23:46] That's what
[00:23:46] John Romano: [00:23:46] it is. And add to that, add to that, the women's liberation movement, it was a full swing in the 70s. You know, and they were burning their bras and demanding equality and you know, they weren't going to take shit anymore.
[00:23:58] And you know that that [00:24:00] movement in and of itself caused a lot of people to get divorced. And, and that's, I think, you know, the 70s is one, I remember men starting to really bitch and moan about how they're getting, you know, fucked over in their divorce. So it was, it was prevalent then and it got really bad in the eighties and now it's just settled into being so bad that it's just everybody's used to it.
[00:24:22] Carl Lanore: [00:24:22] Now, this is something you could speak to. Um, because quite often children are used as leveraging tools in a divorce because the woman understands that if she keeps the children, then she has to, the marital home is protected. Of course, the idea is, well, we don't want to disrupt the children's lives. They go into this school.
[00:24:40] We don't want to, we don't want to need to change as surrounding South exchange though by the woman being the point of the family, the man is extricated. The man is supposed to just pay his money and go live his crappy little life cause he messed up
[00:24:56] John Romano: [00:24:56] and the kids twice a month
[00:24:59] Carl Lanore: [00:24:59] if that. [00:25:00] Because you know that that's another adversarial thing that women do.
[00:25:02] They, they restrict their, their, their PR, the spouse's ability to see the kids. But the children are used as leveraging tools and the court doesn't care if what they're doing is actually better for the children by letting them go live with the father.
[00:25:18] John Romano: [00:25:18] No. Then we'll see that that's, that's the root of the whole problem right there is that the courts treat this as child visitation.
[00:25:28] It should be parental visitation. It shouldn't be the marital home. It should be the children's home. If the children's best interest is really what we're after here, then the children should never leave their home. The parents got to come and go, and you know, they get their visitation days. The kids stay home.
[00:25:45] So that way it forces both parents to move out and get their own place to live and you know, on their own dime, whatever they want to follow through with this. Then, you know, Tuesdays through Saturday, you know, the moms living in the house, she moves out, he moves in, [00:26:00] spends another couple of days, let them
[00:26:02] Carl Lanore: [00:26:02] know.
[00:26:02] The truth of the matter is that is actually more practical, but no one will ever do it. But that instead of the children having to go stay three days at that house, three days at this house, the children stay put and the parents get to spend three days at their own home and three days. You're right. Why
[00:26:19] John Romano: [00:26:19] did he kick?
[00:26:20] The kids got to pack up their shit, their clothes, they got to come bring it with them. They got to get dropped off. They got to get picked up. They don't know which day. Why didn't put them through, they didn't do anything. They stay home, you, you guys can't get along. It's not their fault. You guys move out.
[00:26:34] Both of you move out and then have a judge say, who gets to live in the house, what nights of the week? And then that's, that's the way it is. And there's no, there's no primary custody. There's, it's joint custody. They're both your kids. One parent doesn't deserve them any more or less than the other one.
[00:26:53] And the house belongs to them. You decided to have them. You put them in the house, it's their house. You [00:27:00] come and go, and then you watch how much easier things get you.
[00:27:05] Carl Lanore: [00:27:05] You were awarded custody of your son in a divorce, right? You're, you're in the 2% you're in the two percentile
[00:27:12] John Romano: [00:27:12] area. That was a, that was a brutal battle that costs me many, many thousands of dollars.
[00:27:19] Um, you know, six figure, thousands of dollars and, and yeah, it was a brutal, protracted battle. And finally, at the end, I got custody of them. Yeah. If they're eight years.
[00:27:31] Carl Lanore: [00:27:31] But, so that's where the judge actually thought it was more beneficial for your son to stay with you.
[00:27:35] John Romano: [00:27:35] But by the second time through, yeah, it was, it was pretty bad.
[00:27:39] You know, it was just the, it was the battle. It was so obvious that you know what was going on, but it took, you know, it took an act of Congress almost to get it to, to get it to light. But once it did, you know? Yeah, it was. That was it. And then all of those years of fighting and battling and you know, suing me and making me appear in court and, and filing motions and all [00:28:00] this against me for this and that.
[00:28:01] As soon as the judge awarded me custody of the, of, of, of my son, she went away. She abandoned him, she abandoned the process. You abandon everything. She, she's never seen him again. Not since he was eight years old.
[00:28:14] Carl Lanore: [00:28:14] This is what I'm talking about, that not all women. Because there are women out there who understand that they want their children to have a good relationship with their,
[00:28:24] John Romano: [00:28:24] their the other spouse.
[00:28:26] Carl Lanore: [00:28:26] And, but there are a lot of women out there who use children to hide behind in a divorce as a form of leverage, as a form of leverage that they can financially continue to get money
[00:28:38] John Romano: [00:28:38] if further the punishment. If furthers the punishment. My ex wife filed, she went online and she, she couldn't afford her attorney anymore cause I got out of pay in her attorney's fees and she went on.
[00:28:50] She went on the, she went on the web, the County website. She finally downloaded all the forms pretending to divorce whether they had anything to do with her or not. She [00:29:00] filed every single one of them at one like 150 bucks a piece. She filed every single one of them. I had to answer. The a gazillion freaking motions that had absolutely nothing to do with w w was over at, you know, at the answer, but I had to pay for my attorney to answer every single one of those, you know?
[00:29:17] So that's more money out of my pocket. She costs me money, she punished me some more, you know, for having the audacity to divorce her.
[00:29:26] Carl Lanore: [00:29:26] You know what's really funny? It's humiliating when you find out that the judge has ordered you to pay for your wife's,
[00:29:33] John Romano: [00:29:33] your ex wife's attorney.
[00:29:35] Carl Lanore: [00:29:35] And I, yeah, but actually I liked the guy.
[00:29:38] Now I know him, and he really was a better attorney than mine was. he worked harder than my attorney did. There's no doubt in my mind about it and, but yeah, I had to pay him $20,000 to cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars. Right? It's just, you know, I don't understand how judges award. They should [00:30:00] put a cap on it.
[00:30:01] They should say, you know, neither of you could spend more than $5,000 on your attorney.
[00:30:06] John Romano: [00:30:06] Yeah. I mean, there's sure there's a lot of things that should be in place to, to lessen the punitive aspect of getting divorced. Getting divorced should not be a criminal act. It shouldn't be treated like one. You should not be afraid of what the court's gonna do to you if you get divorced.
[00:30:23] It should. You should know going into a divorce that you're going to be treated fairly equal. This is going to be a fair and amicable split of two people's relationship to their, their lawful, you know, union is going to separate and it's going to be fair. It's going to be absolutely fair. The blindfold is on.
[00:30:42] It's going to be absolutely fair. That's the way it should be, but we've perverted it into something dreadful. Every guy in the entire world is scared to death of what would happen to him in a divorce,
[00:30:55] Carl Lanore: [00:30:55] and it shouldn't be that
[00:30:56] John Romano: [00:30:56] way. You should be able to get divorced. If that's the case [00:31:00] of your marriage and you want to get divorced, you should be able to go get divorced without being punished for it, and she should not be able to use a divorce as a means of getting rewarded.
[00:31:10] That's true.
[00:31:11] Carl Lanore: [00:31:11] I agree. Well, I want to take a quick commercial break when we come back. I want to talk about how to solve this problem. I know we had a couple of the things we're going to put up there about not to do to the children, and we could talk about that, but the reality is, what are we going to do to change this?
[00:31:24] I don't want this to be another bitch Fest over a bunch of beers, you know, complaining. We have to take a page out of women's book here, and the book is, how do we solve. And change alimony reform to be more fair. Let's talk about that on the other side of the break. Stay chill.
[00:31:44] John Romano: [00:31:44] Move over. Superheroes. This is this superhuman chapel.
[00:31:51] Carl Lanore: [00:31:51] Awesome. So I put a couple things up real quick during the
[00:31:54] John Romano: [00:31:54] break for people to look at.
[00:31:56] Carl Lanore: [00:31:56] Um, the first one is, uh, let's see if I [00:32:00] can arrange this differently.
[00:32:01] Brent LaLonde: [00:32:01] So it looks a little better
[00:32:02] Carl Lanore: [00:32:02] now I can, interestingly, the top three occupations. For divorce dancers, bartenders, and massage therapists.
[00:32:14] John Romano: [00:32:14] You don't need, I don't think you need a PhD to figure that one out.
[00:32:17] Carl Lanore: [00:32:17] I got, I mean, I, I got to believe they're not talking about Broadway dancers. They gotta be talking about strippers,
[00:32:21] John Romano: [00:32:21] strippers,
[00:32:22] Carl Lanore: [00:32:22] and bartenders, and massage therapists. I think that's actually very humorous. The other one that's interesting is, um, let me get rid of that. Sorry. The other one that's interesting is the, uh.
[00:32:34] Countries with the highest divorce in the United States is not top Russia is,
[00:32:38] John Romano: [00:32:38] yeah. Wow. Oh, it's all those mail order brides.
[00:32:42] Carl Lanore: [00:32:42] Yeah. They're shipping them here. I wonder if they count those in their numbers too. I don't know. Maybe not. So, uh, what, what a men going to do this? This is, this is not as easy to solve as, you know, just click this link and go, we need to fight for reform [00:33:00] of alimony laws today.
[00:33:02] What do you think the first step in that is?
[00:33:05] John Romano: [00:33:05] Well, I think, I think the first step is to, is to mitigate the, the, the punitive aspect of it. And, and, you know, perceive from a, from a point of view that we are not out to punish men here. We are out to make an amicable split to two people's union, a fair and amicable split to two people's union and, uh, w with the least amount of lawyering involved with law, with, with caps, like you suggested on how much you can possibly spend on a divorce should be a cap.
[00:33:35] It should be kept. That's whatever it is. It can never be more than $5,000. That's as most it could possibly cost. And no matter what. And, and the, and the, and the legal work required to facilitate a divorce must be way less much simplify, much more simplify the process of getting divorced and with the, with the intention of
[00:33:58] With the or the acceptance of the [00:34:00] fact that people get divorced. It's not anybody's fault. It's not, even if it is, you know, infidelity or whatever, it's two people are not getting along. There should be no punishment for that. You should be able to amicably split and in the fair and amicable split, you are fairly dealt with.
[00:34:19] Both sides are fairly dealt with now of, yeah. Okay. If the guy is going to be the primary breadwinner and he tells the wife, honey. You know, forget your education. You don't need to finish college. Let's just get married. We're going to have 10 kids. You just be the mom and I'll bring home the money and you know, will you just make dinner every night and, and, and be like June Cleaver and then and that's the basis of the marriage.
[00:34:43] Now, 20 years later, you decide that your secretary's hotter and uses a, doesn't have the where of 10 kids on the body. So you're going to go step out with her and you want to get divorced and you want to go marry your secretary. It's fucking horrible that you would want to do that, you know, after 20 years.
[00:34:59] But that's what [00:35:00] you want to do. Okay, so now how do you split that up. Th th of course in that case, the, the, the wife should be, you know, competent, not compensated, but still be able to support the lifestyle that he forced her or, or, or coerced her into living. And she, if she had not abandoned school and gotten her degree and pursued a career and, and all that, that then that's a completely different animal.
[00:35:25] But he is responsible for her not doing all of that. And, and for 20 years was, you know, the, the mom and wife. Well, yeah, well that's a different situation then. A career, a career woman who makes more than the guy and you know, does whatever, and then the guy's got to walk away. You know, he's got to walk away with nothing.
[00:35:46] Carl Lanore: [00:35:46] So the big caveat here is then must be actual formulary to calculate
[00:35:55] John Romano: [00:35:55] a divorce settlements
[00:35:57] Carl Lanore: [00:35:57] that have nothing to do. With a [00:36:00] latitudinal type discretions from judges. you can't, you can't have this, give five judges a divorce case. Five of them look at the paper, five of them come back and one guy says, 5,000 a year.
[00:36:13] The other guy says, 175,000 that's not, that's not justice. That's not judging. That is, that is just. He very, in my opinion, and destruction.
[00:36:25] John Romano: [00:36:25] How about the ones that award? You know, they've been married for 20 years. The guy that they built the business and now she's entitled to half the business. Okay, well, she gets half the business.
[00:36:35] I don't want me to have, I want the money, I want to sell it. I don't want it. So my, I don't want to sell the company. I keep, you know, maybe he can't.
[00:36:43] Carl Lanore: [00:36:43] That's what happened to rich Gaspari didn't
[00:36:45] John Romano: [00:36:45] it? No, no. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I don't want to get into that, but that's not what happened. Okay. Um, but, but, you know, it does happen that, you know, the, the judge awards awards, uh, you [00:37:00] know, half of an asset, like they're 50% of, uh, of a company, and it forces the guy into having to sell the company to compensate because she wants the money.
[00:37:08] And thus destroys the company. Now he's got no company left. He had a solid one. Now what's he going to do? You know, they, they, they put these, they put these pressures on, on the disillusion of the marriage to facilitate things that are ultimately detrimental to usually the guy, right. And whatever he's built.
[00:37:28] Carl Lanore: [00:37:28] Yeah. It's, it's, it's, it's a mess. It really is a mess. The transference of wealth is all that the attorneys care about. The transference of money to their client is all they care about. Guys go into court trying to protect themselves and women go into court trying to. Destroy the guy. It, they're very, very different postures.
[00:37:54] John Romano: [00:37:54] Very different postures. Yes. Very different. What, you know, like I said, it's w w [00:38:00] we're going to court to get, to try to get the least punishment we can possibly get. That's, that's why we're going to court. We know we're going to get it. It's just the question of how bad. Right? And that's, that's, that's the way it is and that's what's got to change.
[00:38:13] It's that attitude. That has got to change. And we, and you know, I made a couple references to them before. These liberal judges are the, are part of the problem. They are, it is typical in any of these divorce cases. I'm sure you have the statistics to back this up, that liberal judges dispense the most uh, uh, penalties.
[00:38:35] So the two, the two, the husband across the board, and it's the conservative judges who are always acting. You know, much more fairly in, in the distribution of assets and property.
[00:38:47] Carl Lanore: [00:38:47] And judges are appointed by, uh, judges. A lot of judges are voted in, but just as many judges, if not more, are appointed. And it's just seems that judges on the, uh, family court [00:39:00] level, and that's what we're talking about here, are almost exclusively appointed.
[00:39:04] And so if you have, um, from a top down standpoint, if you live in a city where you have. A Democrat, governor, a Democrat mayor, you're most likely going to have judges who sit in family court that have very, very liberal attitudes. And, and unfortunately, liberal judges tend to believe that, uh, things like the woman deserves to get more than you.
[00:39:33] Uh, they, they owe at least as much as you have. The woman deserves you, you, you, you can't expect a woman to have to work and make up for the income that at the same time on the other side, they want women to be treated equally and in the jobs, make money and all this other stuff and it doesn't work together.
[00:39:52] It doesn't, we have to stop this. We have to stop. Thinking that one person deserves to walk away from a divorce [00:40:00] in better shape than the other. That's what it all comes down to in court. And if you have a judge that feels that way too, he's always going to end up giving the person who's the major earner, and that could be women too.
[00:40:13] Oh, the biggest penalty for the divorce, because this is all about money folks. It's all about money changing hands. That's what this is about. It's not about amicable settlements of divorces and everybody gets something fair and everybody, you know, if it wasn't for the system, more husbands and wives would walk away friends because one couldn't take advantage of the other.
[00:40:37] Yeah.
[00:40:38] John Romano: [00:40:38] And the law and the lawyers, you know, like you pointed out, you know, breed the discontent. They make them fight and go, you know, go after, you know, and a lot of cases, the of the spouses start off saying, you know, I just wanted to make the CZ. I just want it. And when the lawyer would go, well, you got seven houses in Montana, you know, you want, you want at least, you know, you want at least six and a [00:41:00] half of those, you know, and I'll make sure that you get them.
[00:41:03] Okay. That's what happens. You know, I, I'm
[00:41:06] Carl Lanore: [00:41:06] all, I'm all for, I'm all for 50 50. I really am
[00:41:10] John Romano: [00:41:10] fair, fair, fair.
[00:41:12] Carl Lanore: [00:41:12] I'm not, but I'm not for this nonsense. I mean, the, you have to give you all of your belongings into the pool and, and walk away with far less than the other person has, just because, you know. It's a woman or she's going to get the kids.
[00:41:28] I mean, obviously child support is very important. No one should walk away from child support.
[00:41:32] John Romano: [00:41:32] Right. But when, well, I think, yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw the child visitation problem last segment. So this support is the child support is another thing. That's another thing that's perverted into something dreadful.
[00:41:45] You know?
[00:41:46] Carl Lanore: [00:41:46] Why did,
[00:41:47] John Romano: [00:41:47] why did, why is it that? Because I make, I make. Yeah, $250,000 a year that my child support should be $3,000 a month. But if I make $100,000 a year, [00:42:00] my child support $700 a month. Why does it cost more to Rick to, to support my child if I make more money, the hamburgers get more expensive.
[00:42:11] If I make more
[00:42:13] Carl Lanore: [00:42:13] to this, they come down to this, this, uh, this term. Of maintaining a lifestyle?
[00:42:21] John Romano: [00:42:21] No, no, no child support.
[00:42:23] Carl Lanore: [00:42:23] No. But even child, no child support is subjective to that too. Because the child support, I had to pay for two children versus the child support. A guy I know very well paid for his two children.
[00:42:36] I mean, his was like, was like $60 a week per, per child, you know. Uh, and mine was. Over $700 per child
[00:42:48] John Romano: [00:42:48] and it should all be the same. It's your cost, the same,
[00:42:51] Carl Lanore: [00:42:51] the rehab, but it comes. That's what I'm saying. It comes down to if your child lived at a bigger house, had more access to things, [00:43:00] extracurricular, it takes hockey and skating and all this other stuff.
[00:43:03] Plus versus this child who didn't come from that kind of household, they they, that's why he said it comes down to maintaining a lifestyle. And I don't understand why I can't maintain my lifestyle. I'm not, I'm not moving on into buying a big house after a divorce. I'm moving into an apartment and just trying to pay my bills.
[00:43:21] John Romano: [00:43:21] It child child support should be, we're trying to fix the problem here. So child support has got to be carried out in its literal meaning. Child support and every child costs the same to support. Now, if you have, if you make more money and you want to send your kids to piano lessons, that's not in child support.
[00:43:45] That's something you want to do for your kid.
[00:43:46] Carl Lanore: [00:43:46] You go
[00:43:47] John Romano: [00:43:47] pay for it. You go pay for piano lessons, ballet, hockey, football, baseball, whatever you want to do. Any of that stuff with your kid, you go do it with your kid. Just like if you were still married. You don't, you don't pay money [00:44:00] in anticipation of violin lessons.
[00:44:02] You know, you, you, you, if you want to pay that, you pay an extra child support. It costs X amount of money to raise every single child in America. Their share of the utilities, the roof over their head, which roof over their head doesn't even count. That's part of the other part of division of assets and it's the should be the kid's house.
[00:44:21] But what does it actually. Cost to support the kid, utilities, food, transportation, clothes, and water. What beyond that? It's not support. You're not supporting anything, right? You're, you're entertaining. You're providing extracurricular activity or reaching their lives. So mom's going to pay for the piano lessons.
[00:44:42] Dad wants his kid to play baseball. They just do it like that. Like there were any at, at any other point in their lives. So at the I, but the idea of child support is not to enrich the life
[00:44:52] Carl Lanore: [00:44:52] of the mother. Right. And, and again, it should be formulary. It should be a formula. That no matter [00:45:00] who you're dealing with, they get treated exactly the same way.
[00:45:03] I agree. So these States here, New Jersey, Oregon, Vermont, Connecticut, North Carolina, West Virginia, and Florida. These are lifetime alimony States. If you get divorced in one of these States, you have to pay alimony for the rest of your life. And I think even if the spouse remarries, I think. I think that's why they're called lifetime.
[00:45:28] Otherwise it would be, it wouldn't be lifetime. It's lifetime. Whether she remarries or not, whether you remarry or not, you have to give her her or him that money, depending on who's paying the alimony. This is, this is crazy. Lifetime.
[00:45:44] John Romano: [00:45:44] So, or, or, you know, and, and, and it's such a case, even if it's supposed to dissolve after they get married, they'll just, they just won't get married. They'll, you know, live with their next lover and still collect the money.
[00:45:56] Carl Lanore: [00:45:56] And that's what they did. They do, they get married [00:46:00] right after alimony stops. It's just interesting how that works,
[00:46:03] John Romano: [00:46:03] isn't it?
[00:46:03] So the next guy pays,
[00:46:04] Carl Lanore: [00:46:04] yeah. But by coming back to this discussion and we're going to take our last commercial break and come back. Um, it's very important that men become involved in understanding where family court judges come from, what their opinions are of past divorce cases. If they've handled divorces before.
[00:46:24] W we need to know this stuff. This is what women did. Women started to uprise themselves of judges that sided in divorce cases. On the side of women more often. They made sure that those were the judges that got into into play. They vote, they get up and they vote, and they let their opinions be known.
[00:46:45] Like it's important for you to say, I'm not voting for this judge because he abuses men in divorces. It's important for us to start saying that because we need to get other people to understand that the agenda must be alimony [00:47:00] reform. So that men are treated equally and don't listen to the you go to. I felt so many articles on different websites saying that men are treated equally in divorce, and they always cite.
[00:47:16] The formulas. Well, this is the formula, but the reality is that nobody gets that formula applied to them. Once the judge starts going, well, you know, his income I like, I went through a divorce and they imbued, this is a term that means, well, we think you're going to make more money. We think you actually capable of making this, and that's how they calculate it.
[00:47:39] Alimony, in my case, they imbued what they thought I was worth as chattel. Like you'll get to work and you, we think you can actually make this. So that's how we're going to come up with this number.
[00:47:50] John Romano: [00:47:50] So we're going to further, we're going to further punish you for doing well
[00:47:54] Carl Lanore: [00:47:54] and well no, no. You go to further punish you in anticipation [00:48:00] that you're going to do well.
[00:48:01] John Romano: [00:48:01] That's really motivating. That's truly motivating to get you to really want to do better, knowing that if I do better, I got to give her more fucking money.
[00:48:08] Carl Lanore: [00:48:08] Well, no, it's even worse than that. I gotta give her money now calculated now I, that's calculated on the. The possibility of
[00:48:16] John Romano: [00:48:16] me doing a positive, whether you do or not.
[00:48:19] Carl Lanore: [00:48:19] Listen, I lived on a lot less than I was paying out.
[00:48:25] John Romano: [00:48:25] Well, of course it's, that's not, that's what I mean. You know, and, and, and you made, you made mention of it before this, this quest for equality that women seek, they want equality in the job market. They want equality, represent equal representation. They want equal, equal, equal, equal, everything.
[00:48:43] Until they go to divorce. Yeah.
[00:48:44] Carl Lanore: [00:48:44] That all send, they're helpless. They can't get by without extra money. They don't think they'll ever be able to get married again. And then all of a sudden you're, it's really sad. It's really, really simple.
[00:48:55] John Romano: [00:48:55] It's really, really terrible. Um, it's, it's part of [00:49:00] the, of the cultural evolution in, in America that is, got to have some attention paid to it because we have gone too far now in society for this.
[00:49:12] For who we should be woke enough as a society to do something about this. I love that trade. Your favorite word?
[00:49:18] Carl Lanore: [00:49:18] I let take a quick commercial break. We'll be right back.
[00:49:21] John Romano: [00:49:21] Spit that out right now. This is the superhuman channel.
[00:49:29] Carl Lanore: [00:49:29] Welcome back to this episode of open season on men here at the supremer radio network and a little, we're going to be joined by a Brent LaLanne. Talk about the upcoming honor. Will you be at the auto this year? John?
[00:49:41] John Romano: [00:49:41] Not this year, no. Oh,
[00:49:43] Carl Lanore: [00:49:43] is this like one of the first years you won't be there? I
[00:49:47] John Romano: [00:49:47] haven't gone, I think three in a row now.
[00:49:49] This'll be my third one. I haven't gone.
[00:49:51] Carl Lanore: [00:49:51] I remember when you used to stand, uh, someplace in the middle of the event and, uh, and give out bracelets [00:50:00] to parties that were going on and you'd have them in your hand. And. You were very, very cautious before you and I actually knew each other. Uh, you, you, uh, at the Olympia one year, given out those bracelets, man, I hung around and hung around and hung around and finally, you've probably looked at me when I have, this guy's not going to go away.
[00:50:18] John Romano: [00:50:18] Oh, them a did I give you one?
[00:50:20] Carl Lanore: [00:50:20] Yeah, no, no.
[00:50:21] John Romano: [00:50:21] Cause we were, well, we were putting on those parties, you know, for, for muscular development or for RX muscle or whatever. So yeah. Um, we, we put on some, we put on some fun parties in those, at those events.
[00:50:34] Carl Lanore: [00:50:34] So, so let, let other era wrap up. Let's wrap up this discussion here.
[00:50:38] So the reality is that men have to get more involved in order to shape. The way divorces occur in America, right? Men have
[00:50:45] John Romano: [00:50:45] to get more involved than they have to quit. You know, just toughing it out. I mean, it's, this is, you know, men were, like you said, you know, women will band together and, you know, Mount the vicious attack.
[00:50:56] Whereas men just go, fuck, I just want it to go away, you know? And, but [00:51:00] you can't, you got it. You got to deal with it. You got to get up, you gotta free yoga, you've got to get groups. You got to get to get, you got to do what they do. You got to fight fire with fire.
[00:51:08] Carl Lanore: [00:51:08] We have to learn from what women have done.
[00:51:10] Women have done a marvelous job at fighting for rights, and now men have sat by and it's not like we're obstructing those rights, and I'm sure women wouldn't obstruct our rights to be treated fairly. In divorce either. So it's, it's gotta be, and I think that we need to start talking to our politicians.
[00:51:26] We need to start talking to people. Like for me, maybe ran Paul, right? He's always calling my office saying, Hey, we need you to help out with this. I'm going to call his office. Say, Hey, Hey Randy, what do you think about the current state of alimony and how men are treated in divorces? We need to start talking to the politicians.
[00:51:42] When you go to one of these rallies for an upcoming campaign as that politician, as a man. I'm interested to understand how you feel about the way alimony is calculated and divorced today, since so many men seem to have their lives destroyed by divorce. What do you [00:52:00] think about that? If we don't start asking them questions, they're not going to connect a vote with that topic and they're just going to keep doing what they're doing
[00:52:08] John Romano: [00:52:08] or just ask him, what?
[00:52:10] Why is nothing been done in the 21st century? But the punitive aspect of divorce for the man, for the husband, why has that not been addressed? And I would like these politicians to, you know, see what I mean? I've just never thought of it. Well, yeah, you never thought of it. We'll start thinking about it now.
[00:52:29] Guys are getting screwed left and right because they're guys. And that's, that's, that's the only, it's the only discriminatory aspect about it is that we are men. We are, we are men. And we're getting taken advantage of every time there is a divorce and the politicians maybe ran. Paul is, I mean, that's a libertarian standpoint.
[00:52:50] You should be getting married, uh, at your own risk. You know, there should be no guarantee that if you get married and it fails, that one party should forever have to take parent care of the [00:53:00] other that's, that's not well outside of the libertarian, you know, value with it that he supports. So I think he'd be a great one to, to go after
[00:53:09] Carl Lanore: [00:53:09] to have him on the show.
[00:53:10] Maybe we should have him on one of the next shelf. Yeah, let's have him. Well, there's one other thing that I didn't do any research on, but I should have because of our last show about suicide in America. Yeah. I wonder how many guys killed themselves after they get that divorce decree and find out that they're going to be on the ringer for the rest of their lives.
[00:53:26] Paying a lot of money that they can't afford to. I wonder how many of them just say, you know what the hell with you? I'll fix you, and they check
[00:53:30] John Romano: [00:53:30] it off, fix you, and you get nothing. Boom.
[00:53:33] Carl Lanore: [00:53:33] Yeah. I be vetted
[00:53:34] John Romano: [00:53:34] half. I'll bet it happens. I'll bet you can find stats on that.
[00:53:37] Carl Lanore: [00:53:37] Yeah, I didn't, I didn't think about that, especially in light of that last show.
[00:53:41] Anyway, John, what's going on with the new podcast? Has it launched yet?
[00:53:45] John Romano: [00:53:45] Not yet. We're just going to start. We're going to record this week, Richie and I, so yeah. Well, something will go up.
[00:53:51] Carl Lanore: [00:53:51] Yeah, we'll promote it. We'll promote it. I got some ideas on how to promote it. Okay. I, John, thanks for being here today, brother.
[00:53:58] John Romano: [00:53:58] Thank you Carl. I appreciate it and [00:54:00] I hope somebody out there got something out
[00:54:02] Carl Lanore: [00:54:02] of this. I hope some guys guys just need to pay attention. We need to stop paying attention. That's all. That's true. It's all we're asking for. I will get to take one last commercial break and when we come back, we're going to be joined by Brett LaLanne.
[00:54:12] We're going to talk about the upcoming Arnold. Lisa and I will be there.
[00:54:16] John Romano: [00:54:16] doing reps with the weight of the world.
[00:54:26] Carl Lanore: [00:54:26] We're joined by. Brent Milan from uh, the Arnold sports festival. How are you doing Brian ? How are you doing today? It's that time again, isn't it?
[00:54:36] Brent LaLonde: [00:54:36] It is. We're about 16 days away from the, uh, 2020
[00:54:41] John Romano: [00:54:41] Arnold sports festival.
[00:54:42] Carl Lanore: [00:54:42] So when do you actually stop sleeping? We probably stopped sleeping about a month ago.
[00:54:46] Getting prepared for all this.
[00:54:47] Brent LaLonde: [00:54:47] Yeah, sometime mid January. So, um, we kind of . Move into seven days a week mode, sometime in December it feels like, and I'm just go straight through until the show. And then, um, once we get it done, we start [00:55:00] planning for 20, 21. So it's a never ending process. I know,
[00:55:03] Carl Lanore: [00:55:03] I know. So a lot of exciting to, I just got an email talking about the, uh, international sports hall of fame and ducting, some people that I want to meet.
[00:55:12] Uh, first of all, Forrest Griffin, F a UFC fighter. I was a big fan of his back in the day. He's being inducted. Uh, Christy, it is, uh, she's a Marine Corp veteran. I would love to talk about that a little bit real quick.
[00:55:26] Brent LaLonde: [00:55:26] Yeah. The international sports hall of fame is a, um. Initiative. We started about seven or eight years ago in partnership with dr Bob Goldman, um, Arnold himself and Jim Lorimer or among those in the initial class.
[00:55:39] And dr Bob brings in a real, um,
[00:55:41] John Romano: [00:55:41] eclectic group of folks
[00:55:43] Brent LaLonde: [00:55:43] every year from a wide, wide range of sports. Uh, this year you mentioned, um, Forrest Griffin, um.
[00:55:49] John Romano: [00:55:49] Eddie George,
[00:55:50] Brent LaLonde: [00:55:50] a Heisman trophy winner from Ohio state's on that list this year. Johnny Damon, uh, the two time world series winner, uh, played for the red Sox and the Yankees, uh, also played with the [00:56:00] Indians for, for a short time as on that list.
[00:56:02] So that is something that happens on Saturday, uh, during our event, um, every Saturday at noon. And, um. A lot of the past inductees come in and dr Goldman puts on a nice big ceremony for those folks. And in ducks had been to the international sports hall of fame right here in Columbus during the Arnold sports festival weekend.
[00:56:21] Carl Lanore: [00:56:21] You know, that's where I got to meet my childhood hero, Bruno San Martino. Uh, Bruno was inducted a few years ago. Absolutely. I grew up watching Bruno in New York. Um, the wrestling was done on the Spanish speaking channel. Uh, which was channel 47 on UHF. So he had to have the little wonky round antenna and you had to know how to use the UHF side of the TV.
[00:56:45] And I would watch Luke J Libris was the name of the show, and it was the greatest wrestlers of all time. Uh, the midgets sky low, low, but Bruto was, uh, he was the, uh, household favorite. Of course [00:57:00] we were Italian. Bruno was Italian, and that's how my father would convince me to eat. A very bitter green vegetable called broccoli Robbie, which is now becoming popular and started in a lot of restaurants.
[00:57:11] But back then it was peasant food. You know, broccoli Robbie was a peasant food, and I wouldn't want to eat it because it was bitter, bitter. And my father would say, Bruno eats it. And that's why he's so strong. And so I toughed it out and I ate that because of him. I told him that story when I saw it.
[00:57:26] That's
[00:57:26] Brent LaLonde: [00:57:26] fabulous. Oh, that Bruno's a great example of the type of athletes that get inducted into that hall of fame. Um, obviously a Bruno's a, a wrestling hall of Famer, but there's not too many multi-sport hall of fames out there that recognize those folks from a wide, wide range and multiple disciplines of sport.
[00:57:44] Um, like dr Goldman does, and, and Bruno's a great example. Um, David Goggins, who was inducted last year, it's another great example. So that list gets better and better every year. And obviously being in Columbus, Ohio with Eddie George, the Ohio state, uh. [00:58:00] Fuck I, great. Heisman trophy winner and, and NFL. Great.
[00:58:03] Um, he will be very, very popular at that event this year.
[00:58:06] John Romano: [00:58:06] So
[00:58:07] Brent LaLonde: [00:58:07] we're looking forward to that. Just being one of our many, many, uh, sports and events on highlights of the weekend.
[00:58:12] Carl Lanore: [00:58:12] So give people the, the reader's digest version, what, what is going to be there this year? How many attendees. You know, how many people do you bring from all over the world?
[00:58:22] Cause this, people don't realize this is bigger than the Olympics, right there in Columbus, Ohio.
[00:58:28] Brent LaLonde: [00:58:28] Yes. So it is, um,
[00:58:31] John Romano: [00:58:31] the
[00:58:31] Brent LaLonde: [00:58:31] largest
[00:58:32] Carl Lanore: [00:58:32] multi-port Fest.
[00:58:36] Oh, I think he was saying multi sports festival and he froze. Oh, there, wait, wait. You're coming out. You froze there. So you say I lose your car. Well, I think you're back now. Hold on a second. Can you hear me? Can you hear me?
[00:58:49] Brent LaLonde: [00:58:49] Yes. Sorry. I can hear you. Yes.
[00:58:51] Carl Lanore: [00:58:51] Okay. So you were saying this is the largest sports festival
[00:58:56] Brent LaLonde: [00:58:56] now, or just multi-sport festival in the world?
[00:58:58] Um, [00:59:00] 22,000 athletes, over 85 different sports and events. To put that into context, context, the summer Olympics gets about 10,000 athletes a year. Um, we get about 22,000 athletes over four days.
[00:59:12] John Romano: [00:59:12] Um. They'll
[00:59:13] Brent LaLonde: [00:59:13] spear a 32nd, uh, Arnold sports festival. Uh, we'll have about, uh, as I said, 22,000 athletes from 80 different nations.
[00:59:21] Um, on our weekend. Uh, many of those, uh, athletes are coming in for the Arnold amateur, which brings it in athletes. We're about 50 to 60 different nations. Um. About 700 different athletes just in the Arnold amateur this year. Um, so that is one of our biggest international events on the weekend. But obviously beyond that, the Arnold classic is very popular.
[00:59:40] Arnold, uh, pro strongman classic is one of the biggest events on the weekend. Of course, your mental fitness expo Friday, Saturday, Sunday is, is the main attraction. Um, but beyond that, we have wrestling.
[00:59:53] Carl Lanore: [00:59:53] Um, I, I, I, I
[00:59:55] John Romano: [00:59:55] misspeak. They're
[00:59:55] Brent LaLonde: [00:59:55] not wrestling gymnastics right? Then seen martial arts, just a wide, wide [01:00:00] range of
[01:00:00] Carl Lanore: [01:00:00] new, any, any new, uh, sports disciplines being represented this year.
[01:00:06] Brent LaLonde: [01:00:06] The, the, the, the best new sport we have this year. The most interesting new sport is
[01:00:10] John Romano: [01:00:10] medieval fighting,
[01:00:12] Brent LaLonde: [01:00:12] which are these guys come in and they'd dress up in these, um. Full-blown
[01:00:18] Carl Lanore: [01:00:18] armored mail chain mail. Yeah.
[01:00:20] Brent LaLonde: [01:00:20] She mean, and, and, and, and suits of armor. And they'd go at it. Uh, we first saw this down in Australia a couple of years ago, and these guys are beating the
[01:00:29] Carl Lanore: [01:00:29] crap out of each other.
[01:00:30] They actually using real maces and stuff like that. Yes.
[01:00:34] John Romano: [01:00:34] Yeah.
[01:00:34] Brent LaLonde: [01:00:34] And they're beating the shit out of each other, and then they take off their helmets and they're bleeding in the face.
[01:00:39] Carl Lanore: [01:00:39] Okay. So that's
[01:00:40] Brent LaLonde: [01:00:40] gonna go on Friday inside the expo.
[01:00:43] Carl Lanore: [01:00:43] Holy mackerel, that's going to be exciting. I can't believe you're doing that.
[01:00:47] That's amazing.
[01:00:50] Brent LaLonde: [01:00:50] When I first heard about it, um.
[01:00:53] John Romano: [01:00:53] I
[01:00:53] Brent LaLonde: [01:00:53] thought it was like exhibitionist, kind of like a,
[01:00:55] Carl Lanore: [01:00:55] you know, kind of like reenact, like re-enact, civil war reenactment stuff. Yeah.
[01:01:00] [01:00:59] Brent LaLonde: [01:00:59] Yeah. Renaissance festival type stuff. No, this is, this is the real deal. We are partnering with a group called the Detroit
[01:01:06] John Romano: [01:01:06] fight club
[01:01:07] Brent LaLonde: [01:01:07] on this deal, and it will be inside the expo if folks remember where a amateur strong man used to be held inside the expo.
[01:01:15] Uh, it will be in that space on
[01:01:17] John Romano: [01:01:17] Friday. Um.
[01:01:19] Brent LaLonde: [01:01:19] Something new this year that is very, very interesting is we have taken a space out of the expo in the back of hall D so when you walk into the Arnold fitness expo,
[01:01:31] John Romano: [01:01:31] you walk back towards your left, kind
[01:01:33] Brent LaLonde: [01:01:33] of backward toward where CrossFit was, right behind cloth.
[01:01:36] It was Ninja warrior, and then back in that space, we have built a strong man arena. Uh, with bleachers, um, the, the CD is available to anybody with the daily expo tickets. So it's still just $25 at the door, $20 in advance to get into the expo. You enter the expo and you can see all of our amateur and pro strong man.
[01:01:56] But instead of the pro strong man being predominantly on our [01:02:00] main expo stage and the amateur strong man being. And its own dedicated space closer to the main entry doors. We have built an arena back in the back, bleach it on three sides, um, standing room only on the foreside, some big screens. Um, and we built a, a showcase back there for all of our strongman events and contests.
[01:02:24] All the amateur strong man will be back there. In addition to, I'm part of the Arnold pro strongwoman contest. We'll be back there. The Arnold disabled athletes, the disabled strong man. We'll be back there as well. Some of the rogue record breaker contest. I'm on. On Saturday, and then some of that will be on the main expo stage on Sunday.
[01:02:45] So we feel this is going to be a real showcase for the strong man, gives folks a place to sit while they watch those contest. So we're excited to see how that, how that plays out here in year one. Again, inside the expo, no [01:03:00] additional admission or, um, or costs to see the straw man. But the presentation we feel.
[01:03:06] We'll be a lot stronger, more comfortable, um, and a better showcase for the athletes
[01:03:10] Carl Lanore: [01:03:10] that we're going to. It's going to make it like its own event inside the event. That's going to be really cool. Yeah.
[01:03:15] Brent LaLonde: [01:03:15] Yeah. In the past, we've had three, four, five, 6,000 people standing around that expo stage trying to watch that strong man, which has grown into.
[01:03:23] Arguably our most popular event right up there with the Arnold classic. So we wanted to give that, give that event a really high class, uh,
[01:03:32] John Romano: [01:03:32] stage,
[01:03:33] Brent LaLonde: [01:03:33] for lack of a better term. Um, back in the back of our expo, folks will still find it back there, and I think this could be really, really popular.
[01:03:40] Carl Lanore: [01:03:40] So, um, for people who never heard about it before, where, where is the event.
[01:03:46] Where can people buy tickets? What dates are we talking about? Cause this year we have an extra day in February. It's leap year. So
[01:03:52] Brent LaLonde: [01:03:52] yes, we do. So, um, we are on March five, sixth, seventh and eighth. We're kind of what feels like a [01:04:00] week later than 2019 our event, Carl always is on the first Saturday in March.
[01:04:07] And then we go backwards. And, uh, from that day, so March five to eight, 2020 Columbus, Ohio. Uh, Arnold sports festival.com is the website where you can find all the information, schedule tickets, all that kind of stuff. The event is primarily in the greater Columbus convention center in downtown Columbus, and it's the Ohio expo center, which is our state fairgrounds facility, about three miles North of downtown.
[01:04:34] We use about eight buildings up there, a lot of youth sports. We built a, we debuted about five years ago, a kids and teens expos to more of very. Family oriented expo, football, basketball, baseball, soccer, lacrosse, those sorts of events. We actually have Arnold strongest team. We'll be, we'll be, we'll be contested inside the kids expo this year.
[01:04:55] So 18 strong man contest is up there, and then we have events [01:05:00] throughout the city. We have a.
[01:05:02] John Romano: [01:05:02] Uh,
[01:05:02] Carl Lanore: [01:05:02] uh,
[01:05:03] Brent LaLonde: [01:05:03] trail runs, disc golf, all kinds of stuff throughout the city. So add it all up. It's a record this year, 85 different sports and events. 22,000 athletes.
[01:05:12] Carl Lanore: [01:05:12] Okay. And I think we'd give it away some tickets, right?
[01:05:15] Brent LaLonde: [01:05:15] I hope so.
[01:05:16] Carl Lanore: [01:05:16] I hope so. Let's do it. Tell, tell people what we're giving away and then I'll tell them how to, to, to, to collect.
[01:05:22] Brent LaLonde: [01:05:22] Okay. We're going to with daily expo tickets, which is the main admission into the Arnold fitness expo. And I got, I got 10 tickets so we can give away five pair, however you want to do it.
[01:05:33] Carl Lanore: [01:05:33] Okay, so here's what it is. Okay, so you said that email, whenever you hear this to on This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. And you tell me whether or not you want one ticket or a pair of tickets. And basically when they run out, they run out. And don't assume if you're listening to this podcast two days later that they're not still available.
[01:05:55] Cause there's two phenomenons I've learned when giving away these tickets. Number one, the people who take [01:06:00] advantage of this, they're doing it as an afterthought. So they usually live within driving distance. So. Yeah. That limits, that kind of thins the herd of people who will request. And then the other thing is whether or not people can do it that weekend.
[01:06:13] So no matter when you're listening to this podcast, whether it's live now or or days from now, send an email to on This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and tell me, I want one ticket, Carl, or I want two tickets. Two is the max for me and my wife, or whatever it is. Just tell me who you're taking. And as long as they're available, you will be going.
[01:06:33] That's it.
[01:06:34] Brent LaLonde: [01:06:34] And those tickets are good. Any day, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. As you know, Carl is so much to do, so come down for him now, planning on coming down for a couple of days so you can take it all in. It's just a overwhelming event if you've not been
[01:06:47] Carl Lanore: [01:06:47] before. This is when I get to see a lot of people that I just don't get to see all year long because I can't travel there.
[01:06:54] I can't travel. Well, everybody is there in Columbus. So I, we just go up. Elise and I go up to Columbus and we have dinner with [01:07:00] people and lunch with people. We walk around the expo, we learn about new products. Uh, it's just, uh, it's a wonderful tradition for me really.
[01:07:07] Brent LaLonde: [01:07:07] Yeah. And that's the beauty of the expo is we're all that action as you walk in there and you see a lot of familiar faces, a lot of familiar brands, um, a great place to connect and reconnect with people in the industry.
[01:07:19] And once again, we'll have about a thousand boosts in inside the expo made up about 350 different companies and brands, um, all showcase in the latest and greatest in the industry. So we're
[01:07:29] John Romano: [01:07:29] a, it's,
[01:07:30] Brent LaLonde: [01:07:30] we consider it a Superbowl of bodybuilding and we look forward to putting it on again and just a couple of weeks.
[01:07:35] Carl Lanore: [01:07:35] It's the super bowl. Of multi-sport discipline. It really is. There's no, there's no place you're going to go to see fencing, equestrian stuff, strong man arm wrestling. I mean, it just, it, I don't care what you're into, and you may not even be into some things that you learn about that you all of a sudden become a fan of.
[01:07:55] There's no venue out there that puts together all of these events [01:08:00] in one city at one time. It's really amazing.
[01:08:03] Brent LaLonde: [01:08:03] Yeah. Obviously our, our, our core is his strength. Um, and I will say in the, in the NPC, the IFB pro league in the, in the physique sports. Um, but beyond that, Arnold pro storm and classic Arnold amateur, uh, USA power lifting, uh, XBC power lifting the WPO is back again for the first time in a long, long time.
[01:08:23] And we have some, uh, obviously a lot of weightlifting, Olympic weight lifting on the weekend. And this year we're working with
[01:08:28] John Romano: [01:08:28] the international
[01:08:29] Brent LaLonde: [01:08:29] Federation of weightlifting. Uh, to bring in some Olympic
[01:08:32] John Romano: [01:08:32] caliber
[01:08:33] athletes
[01:08:33] Brent LaLonde: [01:08:33] who will be competing on Saturday and Sunday on the main expo stage. So we're excited about that event for the
[01:08:39] John Romano: [01:08:39] first time.
[01:08:39] Carl Lanore: [01:08:39] Very good. All right. So email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. If you want one or two, a pair of tickets to the expo and a, don't wait too long, but believe me, I've gone where we've only given away five pair of five tickets and no one else emailed me because they think, Oh, it's too late. It's never too late.
[01:08:59] Send the [01:09:00] email. Take a chance. Brent, thanks a lot for being on the show today, brother
[01:09:05] John Romano: [01:09:05] Carl.
[01:09:05] Brent LaLonde: [01:09:05] Thank you very much again, and I will see you in just a couple of weeks.
[01:09:08] Carl Lanore: [01:09:08] Yeah, absolutely. It's going to be a lot of fun. We'll see you then. I will get to take a R do and say goodbye now. Uh, that's today's show.
[01:09:17] Tomorrow's Tuesday. We'll have a, uh. Blueprint power hour, and I've got a couple of really exciting shows planned for the rest of the week that you won't want to miss. We've got a couple exciting pep talks coming up, uh, for people who have chronic diseases, you're going to want to pay attention. Uh, but thank you for being here today.
[01:09:33] We'll see you tomorrow.
