[00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of superhuman radio, you know being superhuman isn't just about being strong, but it's knowing when to apply strength and knowing when not to and this is a concept. I've actually tried to teach my children because putting more effort into a losing battle doesn't make you a better person

[00:00:55] And the reality is that a lot of us get stuck [00:01:00] in a situation that my guest today. Dr. Stanley Robertson knows a little something about how you doing Stan. I'm doing wonderful call up. Thanks for having me on so your you are an expert in business and you teach people how to be successful. And when did it Dawn on you that maybe

[00:01:24] Quitting is the answer. This happened to me when my son I was talking. I was having a conversation with my son who is a United States Marine Corps officer. He was approaching his last his the end of his first Tour of Duty and he called me up one day said that you know, I'm thinking about quitting

[00:01:44] I don't I don't know if I want to stay in the Marine Corps or not, and I'm trying to make a decision if I should stay or get out. So my advice to him was no you should stay in the Marine Corps is wonderful. There's great benefits is very. In just you can retire when you in your 40s, you [00:02:00] still young after 20 years it is the thing to do and then I realize that everybody else was giving him the same advice now

[00:02:07] I'm not he actually decided to stay in the Marine Corps. But the point here is that as I was giving him this advice. I wasn't giving him advice based on what he wanted to do. I was giving them advice based on the idea that he should not quit. He shouldn't stop doing it. So I went to bed that night

[00:02:25] And in the middle of the night something occurred to me and that was quit just one word q UI T. So I woke up and I say wow Q you I quit I wrote that down the next day. I talked to him. I said, you know what you should do what you want to do. If you want to get out you should get out on the other hand if you if you want to stay in do that, but you should quit if you don't want to be a Marine Corps officer any longer, so that's when it occurred to me that what we have been doing as a society is

[00:02:54] Then literally coercing people into doing things that they may not want to do [00:03:00] all because we don't want to see people quit in other words quit has become a dirty word. And the reality is as you point out. This is not all this is a social construct. This is a religious construct their people in horrible marriages that are going to stay married just because religion says you should stay married when we know full well from the outside we look at these people think God

[00:03:21] They be so much happier with other people, you know. It's very sad for me to admit this but my own parents at the end of their lives. They didn't even like each other and they probably should have been with different people but they stayed together because back then, you know, we were Roman Catholic Italian and back then, you know, you didn't divorce no matter what and these this idea that there is some sort of intrinsic value in going down with the ship right right mean something it

[00:03:50] Yeah, it does but we have made it means. But I just want to make a point here you mentioned about relationships about marriages. There's this young woman. I [00:04:00] know she lives out in Southern California. Her name is Nicole. She was married to this tall handsome french guy now Nicole was overweight and she was fat by her own admission, and she was in fact fat-shamed not just by other folk around her but also by her

[00:04:19] When did she had a baby he comes into the bedroom after the delivery reaches down to her stomach and kind of lift up the excess skin after the delivery and he says to his wife. Do you think I could be attracted to that? Now this is obviously a very toxic relationship a bad situation for her, but she would not give up the marriage

[00:04:40] She didn't want to quit the marriage because what society says about Gary and about quitters in general, right? Yeah. Yeah because we're saying, you know, you should stick it out. You should you know, it'll work you just got to have more faith. And then we actually have a saying right quitters never win, but the reality [00:05:00] is I've observed people in my life

[00:05:02] Dr. Stan. I'm 61 years while be 61 next month so I can say I'm 61 now and in 61 years. I've observed people and I noticed something.  When you when you move away the social constructs and edicts. I know people that have quit things. Got over them fast whether it was a marriage or relationship a business a job or whatever

[00:05:32] And moved on and were successful in their lives because and I started to see this I started thinking myself, you know, a lot of people want to call that person a flake. Oh, well, they have no depth of character if they could move on that fast, you know, look at the Italians, you know, these old women they wore black and their husbands died 40 years ago

[00:05:53] They still never remarried. They wore black They Mourn for the rest of their lives and I thought to myself. [00:06:00] Why is that considered a positive virtue and and somebody who goes I get it time to fold it move on quickly move on to that next relationship quickly. Oh, that's a flake that person's flaky

[00:06:14] They have no depth of character. Well, you know the idea that Winners never quit and quitters never win is a total myth. It's a fallacy. It is just untrue because the reality is that people who are successful and highly people that are wealthy highly successful. They quit all the time. In fact, they know what to do

[00:06:35] They quit fast, and they quit off. As soon as they recognize that something doesn't work for them. They give that thing up and then they reposition themselves. They reposition their efforts. So the notion that that Winners never quit and all that nonsense is holding us back because we know that for example Michael Jordan quit baseball and want to three-peat The Rock

[00:06:59] [00:07:00] The Rock quit wrestling became a superstar Action Hero Schwarzenegger quit being an actual hero became a governor so we know that people who are highly successful quit all the time they are not afraid and they're not bound by what Society is saying about the idea that oh, you are a quitter. They don't care they know what's right for them

[00:07:18] But dr. Stand today. It's got to be even worse because with social media every day people are putting out there their commitments. Oh, I'm going to get bigger and. Girl, I'm going to run faster. I'm going to I'm going to become a model. I'm going to becoming a pro athlete and they don't reach those goals

[00:07:38] So what's happening today? Because because back in the day when I was young people would say well let your commitments be known because then it's harder for you not to to to do them, but maybe letting your commitments be known is a dangerous thing until at least you know that you're making progress in

[00:07:59] Well, you [00:08:00] know the great motivational speaker Zig Ziglar comment about that very thing the idea of you know, making your intentions known he said there's two types of goals. There are goals that he referred to as give up goals. And then we also refer to something as go up. Goals, he said give up ghost

[00:08:21] Yes. It's a good idea to share those with other people because they won't help you stop doing the thing that you're trying to do. In other words. I want to give up eating sweets. I want to give up smoking cigarettes. I want to give up too much TV or whatever. So those goals he said is a good idea to share with people because they remind you as soon as they see you take a piece of cake

[00:08:42] Oh, no you smarty quit it quit eating. So share those go up goals. He said don't share those keep those to yourself because a go up gold means it's a goal where you're trying to reach something. You're trying to get somewhere and on those goes people. [00:09:00] Far so tickled they will discourage you so he's did don't share those goals

[00:09:05] You get the internal motivation you do what you need to do to reach those goals. So it's so if there is something in what you just said that, you know, if you have certain goals some of them you share some of you don't you have it go at the go up goals if you and there's another there's another thing that I've learned to

[00:09:24] There's a lot of people that we all know we all know somebody like this right every time you talk to them. They're going to become an actor. They're going to write a book. They're going to do this. They're going to do that, you know for 40 years 40 years. They haven't done one of the things that they said they were going to do and meanwhile, they may have the talent and the intelligence and the good looks and but they just don't do it and there's a theory out there that

[00:09:45] When you say I'm going to do this mentally you get this sense of gratification by getting from your friends. Oh, yeah, you'd be good at that and then you don't have to do it because you already got the reward you were looking for in [00:10:00] the eyes of the people you're telling I'm going to do this. What do you think of that

[00:10:05] Well, I think that that actually is there some truth to that so they did a study in in this particular study. They were trying to understand about this idea of writing down your goals and what they found out is that when you write your goals down that is the same as if you if you owned it. So in this study, they took two groups of people one of the groups were a group of

[00:10:34] They gave will these are these are college students, right? So they gave one they gave half of the students a chocolate bar. They gave the other half of the students a mug with the School logo printed on the mud now all of the students. Love chocolate. So what they did is the first group they gave the chocolate and then they said now we're going to give you this mug and when we give you the we'd like for you to give us [00:11:00] back the chocolate you take the school mug

[00:11:02] None of the students would give up the chocolate that they already had in their hand. Then they took the other group the group with a mug and they say we'll give you the chocolate. If you give up the mug, none of the students would give up the mud. So what they determine in the study is that it's not so much what you like or what you

[00:11:19] Like the but the thing that keeps people attached is the fact that they have it in their possession. So it doesn't matter if you have the chocolate bar in your hand. You won't trade it for something else. If you have the mug in your hand, you won't trade it for something else no matter how much you like the other thing because you have it in your possession you

[00:11:37] Own it and what they found is that in terms of goals. If you share your goals, if you write your goals down then they determine that writing the gold down does something to the brain. It actually causes the brain to react in the same way. We would as if that you already had to achieve the goal. So that's why when you you know, if you're sharing it with people you [00:12:00] telling people you're writing it down in particular

[00:12:02] It's more likely that you're going to own it. You're going to take ownership. You won't give it up. In other words your work much harder for that thing because you cuz I really have it already. Yeah, could you feel like that now it's not a matter of acquiring it. It's a matter of keeping it

[00:12:17] Exactly. You don't want to lose something that you already have in the brain thinks you've already got it. So so if someone out there is listening to this show and they've been doing this thing. Whatever it is. It could be a job. It could be a relationship. It could be a style of exercise. That's no longer working for them

[00:12:32] It could be a diet that's not working for them and they keep being told. You're not doing it, right. You just need to try harder. You need to just stick with it. And they realize that they really give it enough time that if it was going to produce even an inkling of reward, they would have seen some of it by now

[00:12:49] So what do you say to them? Do you say? Just quit. Do you say give yourself a period of time a drop-dead date? Because I like to work with drop-dead dates. I like [00:13:00] to say to myself. This isn't working. Maybe it's going to work. So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to give it six months and if nothing has changed in six month, I'm walking away from it

[00:13:08] Is that what people should do? Well, I think people ought to at that point reevaluate their goals you need to decide. Is this still my goal now, we know that things change in your life. Sometimes you may just decide this is just not something that I'm interested in a longer one of the reasons why people should quit something I'm not know there's a laundry list of reasons why people should quit reasons why people should not quit one of the reasons people ought to consider quitting or giving up something that they're working on

[00:13:39] Is is the thing that they're working on is a dead end. If you get to the point where you're working on the goal, and as you mentioned you work on for six months, and it doesn't matter even if you're working on it for. Six days, if you come to the conclusion that the thing you're doing is a dead end

[00:13:56] In other words. It's not going to work out that is a [00:14:00] good time for you. If you give me a give me a give me a life experience that I can so what is a dead-end like is it is it like I want to win this girl's heart, but I have no interested in marrying her or even if I get this job. I'm still not going to be making enough money

[00:14:16] What's a dead end for you? So it did it again. It depends on this very situation so we can be talking about a relationship. We can be talking about a job. We can be talking about investment. We could be talking about a career we can be talking about us CD that you want to get out of we can be talking about a bad habit

[00:14:36] So it kind of depends but I'll just pick one as an example just for this conversation. Well, let's say that I don't know. It's a job that you're working and you are. Trying to determine should I quit this job or should I continue now? If you are working that job and you evaluate the situation and you determine that there is [00:15:00] no advancement for me at the job in other words

[00:15:03] I. Don't make any more money. I can't get any sort of promotion. The the company itself. The products are outdated. The the leadership in the company is not very good. They're not very intuitive. They react to things opposed to being proactive. They don't develop new products. So if you are in a situation where the company and the job that you are in there is no future for you

[00:15:31] There is no future for the company then you. Probably can reach a conclusion safely that that job is a dead end and at that point you ought to be thinking about the quitting that job and moving on but people are afraid of what they don't know, right? That's why so many people stay in bad situations because you know, we had back in the day had a saying the devil, you know is better than the devil

[00:15:53] You don't know. That may not be true when you really think about it because the devil you don't know may actually be [00:16:00] nicer to you than the devil you're with but we have a hard time letting go and moving on because of the fear of the unknown what do people do when the fear of the unknown keeps them locked into a bad decision, too

[00:16:14] Yeah fear of the unknown is a very difficult thing to negotiate. If you have a fear of something that you don't know there is a way that you can deal with that situation. Now first of all, as you mentioned it is that the next thing that you do could be better than the the prior thing and in most cases it is right, but in any case if you have a fear of something let's say you're going to leave the job and you fearful that you're not going to find another job

[00:16:41] You're not going to be able to. Pay your bills or whatever. Well the way that you handle that is that's when you have to evaluate your goals and you write them down. In other words you plan if you plan for something, it makes it a lot easier. I mentioned earlier about my son that he was thinking about whether [00:17:00] he should quit being a Marine Corps officer or or reenlist when I talk to him the thing that we talked about in order for him to help to get make the decision and to get past the idea that

[00:17:12] You know this it may be scary. I may not be able to replace the income or the prestige or whatever well, but the best way to get a past that fear is to actually come develop a plan. In other words. Once you give up a goal if you quit doing a you have to have be in place, so if you have another job

[00:17:34] Lined up or if you are going to start a business if you're going to become an investor, you're going to be an entrepreneur whatever it is. If you have that thing planned lined up, you have your steps in place. You have your resources available. You going to be much less afraid to actually make the move

[00:17:57] So the idea if you fearful the best [00:18:00] way to. Push past that fear is to have a plan for what it is. You're going to do next not only does that leave E8 the fear because you already know what it is you're doing so that eliminates the idea that this is in. Unknown because now the you know, so if you have a plan it's going to alleviate the fear and it's going to help you get where you need to be faster and it's going to get you over the emotional hurdles of quitting because we always say that you know, there's this negative thing about quitting but if you have a plan it's easier for most people to say to the world

[00:18:38] I'm I'm quitting job a and I'm going to be doing job be or I'm quitting thing a and I'm going to be doing things right so you don't have a plan you don't you you don't appear Reckless then you know, you know, I'm just going to crash his job and and and there's a there's a lot to be said for people who suffer from magical thinking and we'll talk about that in a moment

[00:18:57] But [00:19:00] the layout that you just described makes perfect sense. And things like jobs and businesses and stuff, but in relationships, it doesn't work that way because of you. If you are with the woman that you know is a dead end. She can't meet your needs and you're probably not meeting her needs either

[00:19:19] And because I've never seen a relationship where one person was used just blissfully happy and the other person was miserable. Usually both people have a certain level of distaste for the relationship at some point in time, but you can't just say, oh I'll just start dating now and I'll find a new woman to be with before I leave this woman and that in those tend to be it's the interpersonal relationships that tend to be the scariest to people now, I could say that in my 61 years old

[00:19:46] I've always found the relationship I went to was actually more satisfying and better than the relationship I left but it takes time to acquire that trust that you're not going to fall into the abyss takes years to go. Wow, every time this [00:20:00] happens I seem to live through it. So what about interpersonal relationships

[00:20:04] Those are the ones that people are judged as flaky if you move on to quick it's like well she she didn't care about him at all. She's already with another man. Yeah, okay. So two things I would say about that. Number one is that if you're going to quit a bad relationship that a relationship that's not working for you

[00:20:21] There's two things that you have to do one is you have to give up the effort. To you have to give up the commitment as he most of us can give up the effort to a bad relationship. Whether it's a marriage or whatever. It is. In other words. We can leave the relationship we can get a divorce from the marriage

[00:20:38] So that means you quit the thing itself. The problem is the commitment to the things we have these really Rocky divorces and Rocky separations because the people never gave up the commitment so even though you left the relationship. If you're still committed to that person or that relationship it can still be a [00:21:00] problem for you, you know on a mental and an emotional level

[00:21:04] So that's one issue the second the second thing is if you're if you have this relationship or marriage and you want to give it up we need to understand that there is some negative. There's this negative stigma attached to the idea of Corti, especially if you're talking about a marriage or a long-term relationship

[00:21:25] So we have to realize that we as Americans have created this. I'm going to call it a problem. We've created this problem of the negativity around the idea of quitting. The quitting is not necessarily good or bad. But we as a society has turned the word quit into a bad word quit is literally a four letter word because if you quit the relationship you could have marriage you quit anything

[00:21:54] It's you're giving up we're going to yeah. And you consider a loser? [00:22:00] Yes, exactly. And so and and really a lot of that pressure comes from the training we get in our own homes where you know, your mom is telling you when you say, you know, I don't think this marriage is no you got to stick it out

[00:22:15] You know, it's not all it's not all glory for everybody. That's it's hard work and all that sort of stuff. And if you say well I don't want it to be hard work. Then you're somehow selfish and shallow as I said before so. This really this discussion we're having right now while it falls on the ears of people who are engaged in things right now as parents

[00:22:38] We need to stop creating boxes for our children that can find them. I remember one of the most freeing books I ever read and I was in therapy at the time with the Fantastic therapist. I was in my 20s. I was living in Las Vegas. I was seeing a guy named Jerry cat. And he told me I want you to read this book

[00:22:57] I'm okay. You're okay [00:23:00] and what I got that from that book was freeing. I stop judging people because I realized that as soon as you judge someone you create a blueprint to be judged by if you say to somebody. Well, did you see so and so he got divorced he's already with another woman. Like that's a bad thing

[00:23:16] Then you may find yourself in a divorce situation feeling guilty that you met a woman that you want to be with. Well now you can't because you don't want people to look at you the way you judge somebody else so should parents be picking up this baton. Absolutely, one of the one of the greatest culprits of this idea that something inside is bad about quitting is parents if your kid is playing baseball or football or soccer or ballet playing a horn or an advanced parents usually will always tell the kid you can

[00:23:54] Quit you can't stop doing it the kids. There's a I don't want to play baseball anymore. I don't like it. I'm not interested in it and [00:24:00] they say you can't stop you got to keep doing it. Well, I think that's harmful to the kid number one. It interferes with the kids creativity. In other words if they are playing baseball or if they're playing a horn and they don't like it if we allow them to give up that thing and do something else

[00:24:20] They will eventually find the thing that they do like the thing that they. Excited about and the thing that they are good at but they can't find the thing. They're good at if they keep doing the thing that we're forcing them to do that they're bad at or that they don't like not only does it interfere with they their creativity but it damages their self-esteem their self-worth

[00:24:40] In other words. They're doing the thing that they don't like that they're not good at they're going to they're going to suffer their Savage they're gonna sabotage themselves on top of because they don't like it, but you're forcing them to do. Right so from so I say we should allow them to quit the thing that does not working for them and [00:25:00] let them find the thing that does work

[00:25:02] That's what you that's what you do early in life. Right if when you're young you're supposed to be exploring you supposed to be checking out different things. You're supposed to be trying things and eventually you're going to find. Oh, I really like singing or I really like dancing or I really like writing or whatever it is, but you can't get to that point

[00:25:21] If we're forcing you and most parents, you know are being pretty pretty clever about it will say well you at least have to finish the season right? Well, that's a year you're in a child's life is a long time. Right? Right. How much of that? All parents love their children, but love manifests itself in different ways for different people

[00:25:43] How much of that is just purely the parent trying to hold on to control of the child because they feel like if they if the child does what they want them to do, they'll have a better success because they can be guided. I think [00:26:00] that plays into it comes some I think I agree with you that most parents love their children and they want the best for their children

[00:26:08] I think when parents do that what they're trying to do is they're trying to. Teach and instill discipline in the child. They're trying to prepare the child for the real world. They want the child should know that you can't just quit if you have a job. You can't just quit if you do whatever you can't just quit you're not going to be successful

[00:26:27] If you quit the problem is those parents are victims of the same fallacy that Americans are victim of know the child could be more successful if they if the child's stinks at playing the trumpet. In he stinks that being in the band and he doesn't want to be in the band. The child is going to be more successful if he quit the band and went and did something else, you know become a graphic artist or something and and isn't that wherein lies the real issue here [00:27:00] and that is

[00:27:02] if if you go on and Do Your Own Thing make your own decisions and you are more successful. Then the people who were telling you don't quit stick with it. Then what happens is they see the flaws in their own decisions throughout life and they become very challenged they become because you're basically showing them

[00:27:23] Well, if you didn't stick to that stupid ideology that you're stuck with you could have been more successful. So the easier thing is to keep them Towing the line. So everybody else around them stays comfortable. Yeah, we all want to be comfortable. We all want the world to view us in a certain way, but that causes many problems as an example some time ago back in the during the Vietnam war during that time the president

[00:27:52] Well, we got sucked into the Vietnam War because of this. Theory that the that the United States had is called the Domino Theory [00:28:00] and we wanted to collapse communism around the world. So we thought that if we can bring down the North Vietnamese, then that could create this domino effect and we can collapse communism there and then we could collapse it at the next place in the next place

[00:28:15] So and that was the Domino Theory So based on that they were we got sucked into the war into the Vietnam War when we got in the war things went bad pretty quickly. But what happened is the advisors the presidential advisors were telling him. This is not working. We cannot win. This was a situation where something was a dead end, but we couldn't get out of it

[00:28:37] It's a dead end week. It's something that is not winnable. We cannot win the war and on top of the fact that. You know, we can't win our soldiers are being badly beaten and demoralized but the president at that time said I cannot get out of the where I cannot quit because we don't want America to be [00:29:00] seen as

[00:29:01] Quitters America has to stay in the war and on top of that. He said that if he got out of the war all the lives that have been lost prior for nothing. Yeah, right because it was this is what was McNamara right that wanted us to get out when Nixon was there McNamara was like we can't win this war

[00:29:19] We need to get out. It's right but this is what is ludicrous. I mean, it's not a curse to continue doing the thing. Well, that just goes yeah, that's how gamblers lose entire Fortune. Right we used when I lived in Vegas. We called it throwing Bad Bet good money after bad like you already lost. And so now you feel like well, I'm in it for ten thousand

[00:29:39] I got to try to get that back. I can't quit now and the that's the stupidest anti logic if anything you should say, I lost 10,000. I need to quit now. Well, you know what gamblers do something interesting in their in their mind. So it lets say as you said they lost $10,000 well in your in your bin the brain of a gambler, [00:30:00] what they do is they transpose the loss into a near win

[00:30:06] So in other words instead of them saying I lost $10,000 therefore I should quit they say I almost won therefore I should keep going, huh? Interesting, that's really an interesting idea. We're going to take a break. The website is the quit doctor.com right for the book and quit the quit doctor.com and you lay out an approach that people can overcome this bad habit

[00:30:35] Correct. Yes. I that's correct. Yeah, and we can we can talk about that. Sure. Okay. So we're going to take a quick commercial break. We'll be right back with more stay tuned.  My depth perception is horrible right now. I can only see out of my left eye and it's not my dominant eye and I had a procedure done this morning on my eye and they gave me some eye drops that dull the pain

[00:31:00] [00:31:00] And they wore off a little while ago and my head is throbbing. It's just so I apologize if I seem a little out of sorts today, but hey, I'm here. I showed up. I'm not quitting. Dr. Stan didn't quit but this is an absolutely. Yeah, but I got 14 years in this so I have a reason to stick around. So let's talk about this whole idea that the people closest to you

[00:31:25] Tend to be the ones that keep you engaged in this does your book address that does it tell give you strategies to overcome that does the book show people how to assess when it's time to quit and when not to quit. Yes, it does. So what I did is I read every book that I can find on the subject of quitting

[00:31:45] I studied every theory that I could get my hands on and in my book, I created this four-step process and basically the four step process. It boils down everything related to the idea of quitting that you need to do and it's just kind [00:32:00] of groups them into four things and I use the word quit q UI t as an acronym to describe the four steps

[00:32:08] So step number one, which is the queue. Stands for quit quickly. So the first thing you have to do if you want to be successful in life in your job in your Investments, whatever it is, you've got to recognize. As fast as possible when something is not working and you have to make the decision to give it up as quickly as you possibly can

[00:32:33] That's what successful people do. That's what wealthy people do. They do not hang on to things that are not working as soon as they recognize it's not working. They stopped doing it and they move on to something else. So the first step is quit. And then the you which is to understand the negative emotions, that is the second step the so the negative emotions is something like this

[00:32:57] We all recognize that [00:33:00] sometimes we should stop doing things but we don't we keep doing them because of the pushback. We don't want someone to call us a loser. We don't want to think someone to take we're sickled. We don't want someone to say. Oh you should have been doing this. You just didn't have enough Faith or whatever the people might say

[00:33:15] So we keep doing this. So that's the second thing. Understand that these negative emotions exist, and then you can figure out a way to navigate around around them. So that's the cue you and the I is to initiate the Nouveau we talked about this a little bit earlier. If you're going to quit something you have to create some new goals for yourself that's going to make it a lot easier for you to quit the first thing so that you can engage in the second thing and in also you you're not you're never going to be successful

[00:33:47] I don't know. Person ever in history who did one thing and was successful at that thing immediately. You always have to learn you have to grow and that [00:34:00] growth process involves making mistakes. It involves improving. It involves learning. It involves experience, which means giving up something doing something else figuring out what didn't work given that up doing something else and then you continue that process do it

[00:34:17] Give it up do it. Give it up. Give it up you continue that process until you find that that rare combination of things that work. It's going to get you where you want to. So that's the I-4 initiate glucose and then the T, which is Step number four is to transform your behavior. Because once you do decide what it is you want to do you've given up the thing that's not working

[00:34:39] You've re-engaged to something new. You can't keep doing the same things you were doing. So there's things you're going to have to do to transform your behavior to change to do something different than what you were doing before. So, I think those simple those four simple steps will apply. Then of course, you know, there's a lot more detail about each of the steps in the book

[00:34:59] [00:35:00] But essentially those four things will get you where you want to be. You know, it makes perfect sense. And even though it's contrary to what we tell people in their lives today. The whole quitters never win thing. What you said earlier is just a fallacy because some of the most successful people in the world have quit thousands of things in order to find the one thing that they could cash in on but it's you know when you when I

[00:35:25] Do I think this this actually is is self evident if you think about it, you know grinding your life into trying to make something work that's not working. There's no real virtue and value in that except in the eyes of people who want to feel that their decision to do that. Same thing was somehow Noble and the reality is that

[00:35:50] You know when you see something that's not working, you know, and we do and we do this all day. Don't all day long right you go if you you know, you got GPS and [00:36:00] it's telling you that there's a traffic jam up ahead. You don't go. Well the heck with that. I'm going to force my way through that traffic to go

[00:36:06] Oh man. Let me get off this exit go around it. That's right. That's there's no virtue in doing that, you know or anti virtue but as soon as you say. My job is not rewarding. I'm not happy with it. My relationship is not rewarding. I'm not happy with it. Then people go. Oh, no. No. No, you got to just keep on because it because if you're truly truly a decent human being you will make it work like somehow you could move that mountain

[00:36:34] You know, I mean even Muhammad he they say the when the mountain won't come to Muhammad Muhammad went to the mountain or something like that. Right? I mean there is a there is a point in time where you go the mountain is not coming. So I guess I better go to it, right that was okay. You know what the idea that we should just kind of keep going and keep going

[00:36:56] It's just so ridiculous that it just doesn't even make sense. [00:37:00] Even though that's the thing that we've all been taught all our lives here familiar with the Ringling Brothers Circus. Yeah, last year Ringling Brothers went out of business. They have been in business for 146 years, so, But they had a problem

[00:37:15] The problem was the animal rights activists have been suing Ringling Brothers because they said that Ringling Brothers was abusing animals. Right? Right. So Ringling Brothers then decided that they could not give up the use of animals because they felt that. You cannot have a circus without animal and I agree a thousand percent

[00:37:37] And I mean I've been to that circus three or four times in my life as a young boy. And and so without that Menagerie. I wanted to go to the Menagerie more important than anything else to see the giraffe and all that sort of stuff. Well, yeah, then that's that's exactly what Ringling Brothers said, but what they found out is that the circus itself did not actually [00:38:00] depend on the animals because we have things like Cirque du Soleil and all these other circuses

[00:38:04] They're actually doing they never use animals and these people are wildly successful Ringling Brothers is out of business. So already we Brothers had to do was quit using animals in the circus, but they would not do. Same thing you remember Blockbuster video? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they should have quit the VHS

[00:38:27] They should have quit the big tapes. They should have went to streaming they should have went to something else. They would not do it. I know so we make these decisions because we can't see beyond what it is we're doing. But you have to give up something in order to find that thing that's going to work for you Ringling Brothers Blockbuster and there's a hundred other companies that have done the same thing

[00:38:53] They would not quit something and they're out of business today because of yeah, that's those are really [00:39:00] really interesting points that shows from a business standpoint the inability to change with the market. You're right. Ringling Brothers could have been the best Cirque du Soleil in the world. I mean they had amazing apps and they just had to get rid of the animals

[00:39:15] But for some reason they felt like that was maybe they felt I don't know. It doesn't make any sense the way you put it. I'm thinking to myself. Yeah, why did they go out of business?  Yeah, they couldn't do it. And and the thing about it is they should have known when they when they talked to the owners afterward to find out

[00:39:34] What happened? They said that they could not quit use it animals because animals were so integral to the circus you in other words, you can't have a circus without animal now, we know that obviously that's not true. But that was their opinion at the time now, they should have figured this out because they were tied up in court for 14 years and it cost them [00:40:00] millions

[00:40:00] Like multi-millions of dollars fighting animal rights activists now they should have been able to make this decision because they should have seen this talking years ago. They could have said look this is going to get worse. Let's get rid of the animals. Look Cirque du Soleil is all over Vegas and everywhere else around the world

[00:40:17] Yeah, absolutely, and we know that if you look at acrobatics, especially Asian type acrobatics and so forth. I mean that those things are extremely entertaining and they never use animals. They could have they could have hired pink after she did that thing at the Grammys where she did that Cirque du Soleil kind of yeah while she sang

[00:40:41] I mean, they could have made pink like the star of this the show there that would have been an amazing that yeah, there is a lot of missed opportunities because you're blinded by this idea that you can't quit. Yeah, so yeah, we miss the emotions and the emotions come in and that is [00:41:00] probably the largest factor involved preventing us from disengaging from things is the emotional attachment

[00:41:06] We have to these things. So about 10 years ago. I interviewed an author who I don't remember his name, and I'm sorry. But he wrote a book called The Flinch it was interesting. The idea was to train yourself to Flinch forward when something appears in your path instead of flinching backwards Flinch forward Flinch into it because nothing good comes from from just stopping and not doing anything you should do something and it was an intriguing book and I would imagine that the way he

[00:41:42] Position learning to change your response is also part of your book as well learning because we have visceral reactions to things and we don't even think about it. We're like on autopilot like, oh no, I'm not going to do that. We don't even think about it. We just don't do it. I'm [00:42:00] sure that there's there's a component of this that you literally have to unlearn the way you respond to certain feelings, right

[00:42:09] Yeah, absolutely. We do have to unlearn and I think that is a very key word that you just brought up is unlearned because we've been taught literally all our lives has been beating beaten into us that quitting is a bad thing. And the the this word this four letter word qit. Is so bad that I can literally insult a person by calling them a quitter

[00:42:37] So the word is so has become right right the word just the word quit is like it's a bad word and that shouldn't be so but the reason why that is is because we as a society. But been taught that all our lives that quitting is somehow one of the lowest things you could do it. I mean, it's an indictment against your character and [00:43:00] that simply is not the truth, but people didn't come up with this

[00:43:03] This is something that has been instilled in Us by The Architects of. Social interaction, you know, it's in the it's in the bank and the government's best interest that you don't quit paying your mortgage and decide, you know, I don't really want this house. I'm a move on it's in the church and best interest that you decide

[00:43:21] You know, I don't have any value for this anymore. I'm not going to be tithing anymore. So the reality is that this is a construct that doesn't necessarily benefit the end user but benefits some sort of. Social what's the word? I'm looking for, you know institution or something like that. Right is that that's I mean, that's really who would benefit

[00:43:46] Wealthy the so it kind of depends on how you view things the government. We we actually have laws that are designed for people to quit as I [00:44:00] mentioned the people who are the most successful the most wealthy millionaires billionaires. We have we have lost for them. And if you think about it, it's called bankruptcy, but the bankruptcy laws are

[00:44:15] Laws designed for you to quit a business. That is not working. You've got this business you've accumulated all of this debt or what do we do? We allow you to quit the business start over it in. In fact these some of these laws are called Fresh Start. Well, this is designed for you to quit the thing that's not working and start up something new without anybody without anybody even being able to click the current president of the United States did it at least six times that we know of and this guy is a billionaire so we know that we have laws now

[00:44:50] It's another issue whether you. You're thinking in terms of whether those laws are moral or not, but I'm not I'm not the reality [00:45:00] is. Dr. Stan morality is a social construct true. I mean when we look at when we look at the things that are considered moral and not moral they actually change over time and over Generations

[00:45:13] What was moral and the 1700s is a moral today and there's a lot of things that are considered moral today. That would be a moral. 200 years from now. That is true. Correct. That's correct. Yeah, that's correct. Yeah, so so I got to believe that you don't get a lot of companies that have you speak to their employees on sadly because there's a lot of people in that company that will listen to you and go

[00:45:40] Yeah, this job sucks. I'm leaving and that's my point about who does not quitting really serve. I get your ID. You're right about bankruptcy. But there's lots of other social institutions that depend on people not quitting like your employer. What about that? Well that [00:46:00] actually started to change now Amazon and several other companies have a policy now Amazon is one of the largest companies in the world, right

[00:46:12] They have a policy every year their CEO writes a memo or an email to the employees and that in that email says this it says if you are not happy. Working here. We will pay you to quit really so Amazon Amazon has a secret policy so that they their philosophy is this is that if you if they have employees who are working at the company those employees are not happy

[00:46:45] Number one. Those employees are costing them money. Because they're goofing off. They're not doing their best job number to that employee is taking the position of someone who may want to be there and who would be an outstanding employee. They feel that [00:47:00] based statistically speaking. They've said that it costs them x amount of dollars and I don't remember the exact ratios, but it costs them x amount of dollars

[00:47:09] For to heat an employee who's not happy being at the company. So what they decided is this cheaper to pay the employee to quit then to keep the employee who doesn't want to be there and they pay them up to five thousand dollars to quit the job and they do this every they make this offer every year

[00:47:28] So so that's. Thinking that idea is changing even for businesses and corporations and interesting. The book is called.  Quit the last principle of success. I love it. And the website is the quit doctor. We're going to take a last commercial break and we'll be right back to wrap up the rest of the show

[00:47:51] Stay tuned. You're watching superhuman radio on Facebook listening to it on the live stream. We shall be right. [00:48:00] Welcome back. The website is the quit dr.com the Great Book. It's really it's really required reading. This is one of those human hand books that I like to refer to that people should have I also have to thank one of my sponsors qualia

[00:48:16] I would not have been able to do today show if it wasn't for quality of mind. I mean literally between what they did to me today at the eye. And the pain and literally my right forehead. And I is so distracting and I just popped for the capsules right before the show and I felt that come on and I felt like okay I could do this today

[00:48:38] In fact, the show is late today by 15 minutes because of me because I was like a zombie. Dr. Stan calls me and goes. Hey, we still doing that show today. I'm like, oh my God, I didn't realize what time it was. I'm so sorry. So thank you to aqualia. If you haven't tried their product. It's really really amazing

[00:48:55] How long is the book been available? Dr. But the book just came [00:49:00] out this year. It's all about the three months and what are some of the reviews you're getting four people you getting emails from people saying I was like Stuck in Neutral I couldn't move forward. I read this book. It changed my life

[00:49:11] I got a blue Maps. Yeah. Absolutely. There's people who are saying that they never thought of quitting in this way before. In fact, that's most that's the. That's the most prevailing reaction is that people are saying I never thought of it that way and people are saying that this is liberating

[00:49:31] It's freeing I was going to say it's like you're giving people permission to do something that they should be able to do without permission. Right, right. And that's the goal. The goal is to help people recognize that you should feel free to quit. Whatever is not working for you. There is absolutely no reason why any of us should feel obligated to keep doing something if you are doing something and the thing is not working for you

[00:49:59] If [00:50:00] you're doing something is not leading to your success. It's not what you want to be doing for whatever reason your codes have changed. Why should you feel stuck doing that thing just because of the pressures from societies these external forces? Who cares?  And at the end of your life the things you're going to regret are the things you didn't do that made you happier, you know, we always talk about and I love to I'm a huge proponent of of facing

[00:50:33] Experiencing your own death in order to make life more livable because death is like this where I wear on this journey. Dr. Stan you and I are in this car. We're starting to New York and we're heading to California and we know we're heading to California. But as we go through Kansas and all these other states you say to me man

[00:50:54] I can't wait to get the cafe. No, no, don't don't talk about, California. Don't talk about it, but we're going to be there [00:51:00] right? Yeah, but I don't want to talk about it. I just don't want to address it but we are going to get there. Everyone's going to die. No one wants to talk about death because they like oh, no, I just don't want to talk about I want to ignore it

[00:51:10] Well, well, maybe if you address it your life will actually end up better because. When you dress your own death, you recognize your mortality, you recognize the finality you recognize the significance of time that you have and all of a sudden you go, you know, maybe I don't want to waste more time in this bad job this bad relationship or this bad situation

[00:51:31] And that's when A Book Like Yours gives people the permission to go. That's right. Do you think make yourself happy because at the end of the day it doesn't you come into this world by yourself you go out of this world by yourself and you will regret living your life at the end of your life. If you feel like you sacrificed everything for what other people thought and didn't live your life the way you would have enjoyed it

[00:51:59] Yeah, [00:52:00] that's true. And as far as death goes there is no logical reason for for us to fear death. Now. There's only one reason that I could think of that is bad if you want to use that term about dying and that is pain now if you get out of life without any pain you're in good shape, you're a winner

[00:52:25] Yeah, so so that's the that's the deal that as far as I'm concerned. That's the only one that's the only thing that is, you know bad about about dying or Debbie because the people who live in the ones that are affected by your death when you when you when you're on that deathbed you have to worry about paying bills whether it's snowing out it's over you you're like, okay

[00:52:48] It's like snow day. I can't get the kids to school. I can't get to work. I'm just gonna sit here and watch TV and and and really. People who live on that feel the pain of your death, but you don't feel it. You're [00:53:00] gone. That's it all the pain stops. Right, right, right. Yeah, and and there's no reason for any no logical reason at least for anybody to fear death because they're either you are a believer in the afterlife or you don't believe in the afterlife if you believe in the afterlife you should being death should be welcomed because you know, you're going to be in a better place if you don't believe in the afterlife then it's a moot point

[00:53:26] Anyway, so in any case, there's no reason to fear death, right, but people do fear. And they really really do and I really think that that clogs up a lot of lives because they don't want to address their own death. But anyway, the book is again give the title. The book is called quit the last principle of success and the website is the quit dr.com

[00:53:49] Correct? Yes, sir. Okay. It's been a pleasure having you on the show, you know. Again parents. These are things you have you can instill in your children and [00:54:00] give them permission. Don't tie your children to false hopes. Don't make them think that there's any kind of nobility and sticking something out

[00:54:09] You know, the quitter never wins thing is a lie. Let's stop promoting it. Thanks for being here today. Dr. Stan. Thanks for having me Carl. Take care of that eye. Yeah, I got about a couple more weeks and it's going to be back to normal, but it's been it's been a real learning experience. I just so the doctor said to me man

[00:54:27] This is a horrible thing. I said, yeah, but I'm just adding it to my my life's resume. I wrote a Blog about two years ago that I want to impress my mortician. I want them to see me on that slab and go. Wow. This guy got a lot of use out of this body, man. So that's my goal. Thanks. Dr. Stan and we'll see everybody tomorrow

[00:54:48] We'll see you by tomorrow with more superhuman radio. Thank you for listening and watching today. Up. Well missing a button here. There we [00:55:00] go.