[00:00:00] Prepare to experience the strongest radio allowable by law will be revealed minute. This is Paris Jim where excuses never apply it superhuman radio with your host Carl annoy.

[00:00:32] You know, I just realized when the theme music started that I don't know what I'd do. If I didn't do this show. I'm moving a little slow the right eye as many of you know that I scratch the cornea because I am a dumbass and I continue to wear my contact lens it developed an infection and its really bad and.

[00:00:54] I was told by the doctor yesterday that if they don't get the infection on the control, I could lose my eye. So obviously I'm doing everything the [00:01:00] doctor says and I haven't had my eye open all day long. And as soon as the theme music started my I opened up and all of a sudden I feel good and it's amazing when you go someplace that you're familiar.

[00:01:12] That you're happy with that brings you great joy all of a sudden things fix themselves. So I'm excited right now to be able to do the show today and I'm excited to do the show for a couple reasons. We started to do the meet our superhumans series because there are a lot of people in this audience.

[00:01:31] Who are leading uncommon lives and they have been met with lots of problems in their lives. They've been met with lots of distress. But the the common theme amongst the super humans is they don't allow that to become their Epitaph. They don't they don't say, oh, woe is me. I've had a crappy life and this is going to be why I'm never going to do anything and this is the reason and everybody's going to have to you know, feel sorry for me.

[00:01:59] No [00:02:00] superhumans. Don't even really they look at their problems, but they look at them almost like in a second person tents where this these things happen, but I shall go on I'm going to actually fix things and they do it intelligently. They don't ignore their needs. They actually tap into their needs and they fix their lives.

[00:02:18] And today we have Lenora Kaoru. So with us who listens to the show and believe me, if you have an interesting story about your life just email me at on are at superhuman radio dotnet and we will get. On the air because everyone of us has a really good story when you sit and listen to it and you go wow, and there's a lot of people out there who can find real inspiration.

[00:02:39] How you doing Lenore? Hi Paul. How are you? Thank you for having me on of course, of course and everybody story is different, isn't it? But yet it's the same, isn't it? I so believe that yes, we all come from real product of our stories and I have the podcast to it's really really small but I do start [00:03:00] that, you know each guest in that manner where tell us your story and what led you to where you are today because ultimately we all do have our stories and what led us to where we are today and and but you know this, you know, you have friends who've had problems in their lives.

[00:03:17] No greater. No worse than yours. But yet they they actually use those situations to dictate outcomes. They actually use those things to justify why they didn't try why they didn't do why they didn't achieve things in their lives. Don't think yeah, there are those who do that? Yep. There are very sad.

[00:03:38] So let's talk about your Beginnings, right you were born and were you born in New Jersey. I was born in New Jersey in Scotch Plains, New Jersey. Yeah, and I'm one of 11 children big family big family Italian family Italian. Yeah. Okay. Yep. Yep. Yep. My father used to say we didn't have a TV and [00:04:00] now yeah, right.

[00:04:01] That's why they had a lot of sex. We didn't have a TV. We would have fewer children if we had a TV, that's hilarious. Yes. I'm one of 11. I'm forced up from the Union. So there were seven. How many were born before me? I was just one in the mix of 11. Yep. Okay. So you had an average childhood growing up your parents did the best they could they had 11 children where did things start changing for you?

[00:04:31] Where you all of a sudden Your Life Starts going in a direction that you didn't really want it to go. Well, I want to say when I was two years old. I had a severe case of back. Real spinal meningitis, which yeah now there's an explanation for it. But back is an I was the only one who gotten bacterial meningitis and I ended up in the hospital for three [00:05:00] weeks in a fetal position.

[00:05:02] And was not able to move affected my hearing in my right ear and it affected my valve in my heart. So that's something that no matter how much I work out or do I can't correct, but I don't dwell on that. I don't but the doctors pretty much in. This is where I feel. I feel I remember this I was too and I remember the doctor's talking by the crib all the time to my mom and dad and I know that the last thing the doctor had said was it didn't look good for me and my parents would come much as they could with older kids at home.

[00:05:47] And I remember them and I did confirm this with my mom. I said, I feel like I remember this scenario. It's so weird, but. They walked out of the hospital very sad [00:06:00] because it's what the doctor had told them and they always looked up at the window as they walked out in the parking lot and my crib was by that window and they looked up and they saw me jumping up and down in my crib.

[00:06:12] Look, I'm not dying. I'm not dying come back and my mother has now to the stake hold me tiger because I've had three near-death experiences in my life, which will probably get to but. He calls me a tiger because I'm a fighter and they went running back up. And that was it. So the residual effects from that were the loss of hearing in my right ear and my vows but heart valve now the for those people who don't know.

[00:06:41] What's fun with meningitis. Is it the dura mater Pia Mater and the want to say the Iraq noid something there the three layers of the brain and they're they're known as the meninges layer. And what happens is when you get this bacterial infection at if text [00:07:00] effects them and it causes them to swell and they put pressure on the brain and this this is led to death for some people well, but it also goes down the spine the these the Sheets if you will and they can also damaged nerves in the spine as well.

[00:07:18] So this is a very very serious illness. That's pretty much it's pretty much gone today, right, but when we were kids I'm. We I know I'm older than you but when we were children spinal meningitis and meningitis in general was still pretty common thing. Yes. Yeah. I feel really lucky. I feel very blessed and a lot of gratitude looking back because it could have been a lot worse, you know, and yeah.

[00:07:46] So I was hearing loss has never addressed because and I'd like to make a disclaimer. I have no problems with my parents as of today. There was anger and all of that and we'll find [00:08:00] out later in this talk, but. I had a real difficult time in my life because I couldn't hear and my eyes were very bad from the beginning of my life pretty much and that was really never dressed either and I kind of just sunk into life.

[00:08:18] I feel like I want to explain this right. So none of us have handbooks right as parents. Nobody says, okay. Now you have children read this book. This is going to tell you what to do. So we gotta what ends up happening quite frankly sad. Sadly, this is true, especially in larger families where there's a great demand, you know, 11 kids.

[00:08:37] Just think about having to raise 11 children having to close 11 children having to commute 11 chill mean this is this is a huge huge demand, but this is very common of Italian families. We we came here and we want to have big families because we wanted to be able to contribute and the way you contributed you create your own little army.

[00:08:58] And so that's what the [00:09:00] Italians. Especially Roman Catholic Italians, but but you know, what ends up happening sadly that old that old saying the greased wheel that the squeaky wheel gets grease. If you're a child who just kind of suffers in silence. You don't get anything. You don't get your ear.

[00:09:17] You don't get you your eyes looked into when you can't see straight, you know, they used to I used to come home from school and my mother would say why aren't you getting your notes? And I said, I can't see the. He thought I was being lazy. She said oh come on, you know and then finally had my eyes checked.

[00:09:31] They're like, oh my God the poor kids blind, you know, I did get my eyes checked later and I did you know, but by then, I just being in a big family and I've always felt I was different. I've always felt and this is fine now too, but I was always the quote-unquote weird one or I wanted attention and you know, I would do anything to get that attention.

[00:09:58] You know, so let [00:10:00] me go down tell the stories because we'd be here all day talking about everything in my life, but fast forward, you know, one of my brothers in Vietnam and my oldest sibling actually, his name was Joseph and he. He was discharged honorably, but he had some issues in his brain. You know, we can do know he had PTSD.

[00:10:31] We think he had schizophrenia. He was affected by the agent orange is that's is that what it's called. Yeah. Yeah, and I he did commit suicide when I was 9 but before that he was home for me. Now a few years and you know, you know that the Vets from Vietnam we really should be ashamed of ourselves what we did with the with the guys who came home from Vietnam.

[00:10:58] We treated them that we [00:11:00] called them babe nut us but the mainstream baby killers war mongers and these poor guys were. Just terrible conditions that most of them came home with some sort of illness. We don't see that today in war. We don't do that. Yeah. Yeah, it was so, you know from what I remember it was the scariest time of my life because if anybody knows PTSD the rages that happen thinking of getting his flashbacks, he would throw things he would hit me he would my God you just never.

[00:11:36] So it was like living in constant fear and I lived in constant fear constant fear, and I just I can't even tell you we'd come home from school. We see his car. And we weigh whether to go in the house and my siblings and I from the bus sit in a closet pray outside [00:12:00] whatever because we just didn't know kind of Moody wasn't with going to be in and one minute.

[00:12:04] He'd be looking at Christmas lights and the next minute he'd be literally throwing chairs across the table. So it was really really scary being with him and I didn't know anything back then on you know, I was very young so he tried. Commit suicide three times Well two times before it actually happened and it seems like I was always the one there when it happened.

[00:12:31] I don't know why I just can't remember other siblings being around but it was. So traumatic to see that and to see him being carted out on outside of it. How did he try to commit suicide to use pills? Did he grow? The the only time I really really remembers what he was up in his room and he took a cross and he stabbed himself with the cross because he used to be an old to avoid before he went to Vietnam and I know [00:13:00] my mom had showed me letters and he would they would get worse at the letters went on and said what kind of God would do this.

[00:13:06] You know, what? Kind of got I mean he's got worse as time went on while he was there and he just I guess he hated God. It was just it was blaming God. So the whole cross significant thing, you know, whatever, you know, and I remember them bringing him out. He did survive that one and then the third time when it happened I was 9 and the day it happened in school.

[00:13:35] Like I said, it was really hard for me and I. Please pretend I was sick and raise my hand whenever a test would come. This was actually fourth grade that I remember the most and when I was 9 and the teacher knew right away, okay, Lenoir bad go to the health office who you know, and I was have to weigh whether I would risk having Joey come get me because I was so scared of him or stay in school.

[00:13:59] So [00:14:00] I hate school that much I was you know that I would end up having them called Joey because my mom didn't drive. And that particular day did come in and he was so kind that day and which was not typical he would say when or why you always do. No yelling at me. Like this is you know, they'd walk out with me and he held my hand.

[00:14:20] He looked down at me and he said remember I always loved you and I looked up at him. He's really weird. It was like what the hell, you know and that night. I was watching Zoom. Do you remember Zoom? Yeah. Yeah, so that is live. TV was my friend. Yeah, so it really close to the TV and and listen with loud because I couldn't hear and then was on and my brother my other brother.

[00:14:49] Come came running up stairs crying calling 9-1-1 and I'm like what the heck's going on and that was the day it happened and he actually you lift [00:15:00] weights. So, you know this in my brother was bench pressing and he actually stabbed himself and back up my brother. While he was bench pressing. Oh my God, he's so he took his own life while your brother your other brother was bench pressing.

[00:15:13] Yes. Yeah right in back of him. Wow, like if your bench pressing is head with yeah. So I guess where the spot the spot or would stand where the spa someone spotting you on the bench right for sure. And I was with my mother again and I tell you Carl the first they walked out with him and I knew he was not living.

[00:15:33] I knew I knew my mom knew too and it was the first thing I felt was released. I just said but I can understand that it was so I just couldn't go to the funeral. I remember because I was crying so bad for I guess feeling so guilty for feeling. That release and also because he was gone and seeing my mother the way it was their firstborn child [00:16:00] gone, you know in the pain that he was in you know, yeah, did he did he did anyone any of your other siblings?

[00:16:08] Say, yeah, he told me he loved me too a couple days ago. No, no. Okay. Okay. Stay with me. Stay with me stay with me for second and and he clearly targeted you with a lot of his anger. Right? So, right okay. Okay, so stay just stay. Second stay with me for saying so he probably really loved you deeply and that's why he targeted you with his anger, but not not because oh, I love you.

[00:16:34] So I'm gonna hurt you. But you you probably meant more to him than the other siblings. So he spent more energy on you and in the end, he probably realized that that was cruel of what he what he did and he wanted you to know like I know how effed up I am, and I know how I've been treating you, but I want you to know that really deep down inside.

[00:16:50] I love you because he knew he was going. Yeah, well, you know what I know to this day like I believe in this afterlife and I believe in the asking for this signs [00:17:00] and questions and I know that is why I do what I do today because how much have you heard working with that's with yoga. And meditation and all of that, you know how it would help people today, especially with PTSD.

[00:17:18] I mean I have PTSD. Yeah, I was good. I almost said to you he was giving you your own private Vietnam while he was he was he was in fear every minute for his life until it drove him crazy and then he brought that home to you and he basically made you fear him like this was your own private Vietnam War II.

[00:17:39] Had I lived I can I can bring myself to back to that talking to you. What's happening in my body now is crazy. Now, how would I know the old were you at this point? I was nine. Okay. Okay. So so foremost live. This would be enough to go. Wow. You really have had your share of garbage. God bless you.

[00:17:59] You did [00:18:00] well, but it gets worse for you doesn't it gets so much worse. So the priest that was friends of our family and I never really was into. Church really, we were Roman Catholics and my mom the the I would go with my mom to church because you know what? I got that time with my mom. I didn't have I didn't have anything really for my parents except there was no reading there was no shopping.

[00:18:30] There was no going any sport things. There wasn't time for anything. For anything so I craved that attention to no end and going to church I would lay on my mom and I would listen to her sing and I would be in heaven. You know, I mean, I at that point I wasn't hearing that well, so I really wasn't hearing that much going on in church, but.

[00:18:58] Just being with my mom [00:19:00] and get with it was it was a it was a quiet night to be close with your mom. It was an all right see that so we have this priest and I won't say his name, but he came to our house to quote unquote console or family and my mom gave us gave him this chalice golden chalice that was accumulated from the money from the funeral right and gave all the.

[00:19:27] Thanks for the funeral and this beautiful chalice to this priest and he was this friend to the family. Now. I was knitting the leech because I wanted affection so bad. I would hang on anybody would come in that right? Sure. I guess yeah, it could have been the painter. It could have been and Lily was a painter because I did and anybody so he was no different.

[00:19:55] So when the priest would come in. See what he would come and have dinner [00:20:00] watch beauty pageants with my dad come very often have you know, he was part of our family for a good year and a half and the truth and the truth is all good Italians had a relationship with some priest like this where he came for Sunday dinner, you know came for special things.

[00:20:18] We had we had we had two priests that my father befriended and they used to come to the house all the time. Yeah. This is how common this is not you know. People going to be like Presa evil. Now a lot of them aren't evil. Some of them just really do want have displaced Family Ties that they build with their parishioners and that's it.

[00:20:37] Yes, and I don't believe that believe me and I'm not asking other people you have to forgive to go on with this life. You're all at your own stages of life. But for me forgiveness was the path for me, so I have forgiven everybody. So anyway, he came into. Of course, I have six sisters. [00:21:00] So but I was targeted and he found that they call it combing that the revver, you know, it's usually somebody you know that Combs you get you ready?

[00:21:14] They get you they give you trust in them cross them because there are the pre right or their your mom or your dad or they're your best friend or your uncle and oh. Can trust this person at 9 Who would know any different so I trusted him he and he went on to abuse me for a year and a half and it was a loneliest.

[00:21:41] Besides my bulimia, which we'll talk about after I couldn't tell anybody he would tell me this is our secret and you're special and God is going to punish you and I used to hear that from my mom. Like don't do that because God's [00:22:00] going to punish you see God punish you and and you know, but at that time, you know, he literally was sitting on the other end of the couch with a cover over us.

[00:22:11] And doing whatever and and family was around in the house my mother and father were there not I never not my other siblings my mother and father. My mother was exhausted. It was the end of the day. You always come at night for dinner and used to literally watch the. Programs are just not appropriate for priests on TV and have me sitting on his lap and then he would put me to bed.

[00:22:40] Tuck me in and you know, I'm I won't go into detail. I mean, I'm sure that's not something you want to think we all get it we all know you don't need to go. I say I talk about he took away my innocence, but he did not take away my Essence he did not because I'm a better [00:23:00] person. And he would give me a bath.

[00:23:04] I mean it would get me right my parents trusted this man a hundred percent. Now, how are your parents still alive? My father died of Alzheimer's about five six years ago. My mom is 91. And and so I have you have you ever had as these Revelations started to unfold for you and you started to do the work to repair your spirit.

[00:23:27] Did you ever tell your mom? Like what were you thinking didn't you know he was doing. Coming now. I didn't want to harm my mom. I know I love my mom when I told my parents I was going in to get help after I went to the Archdiocese and didn't come up until I was nobody knew about this. And so I after I had my eye five children after I had my third child it kind of triggered everything and I was about 35 and I'm 54 now and it was crazy from there.

[00:23:59] We went to the [00:24:00] Archdiocese. Captain and I and they paid for therapy. So I went to go see Sister of Charity for about 14 years and I did tell my parents wait, wait, wait, they sent you to therapy at 4. And this was the Sisters of Charity that gave you the very well, but I love her no, no, no, I know.

[00:24:21] I mean I went I went to parochial school the nuns a wonderful. I mean they they had to put up with those idiot priest. But I just think that's humorous that they they sent you to the Sisters of Charity as opposed to like a clinician, you know, yeah now and it was I guess, you know, I actually just we are energy just nasty and it was great and I thought she has since passed away and you know, I just loved her and we connect and it was great.

[00:24:47] But I did tell my parents I was about like I said around 35 and my mom was just devastated. Not go into detail what my mom because it [00:25:00] was not her fault. I just I realized that at the time I was angry my father never dealt with it. My father escaped my father. I'm sure it was all about guilt. Right but he just never acknowledged it with me.

[00:25:16] We never talked about it when it was never nothing. How how did that how did that effect and I and we can address this in detail. Here, but how did your father's emotional absence affect your selection of men when you were younger and I know I know you're married to a wonderful guy. You have beautiful children.

[00:25:37] I know that now, but that's because you fixed yourself when you early on your father's lack of emotional involvement. Did you choose guys just like. I chose my I have to be honest and my husband knows this. So that's why I'm staying at I got married at 21 to escape. You know, I mean, I love him. I mean we've been married a long time, but [00:26:00] since I'm 21, but.

[00:26:04] It was to get to escape a shame in that million women do that a million women. I wanted stability. I wanted Comfort. I wanted somebody who loved me and gave me security and emotionally and believe me. It's not been a linear linear Road for us. There's no way ups and downs, but. True of any marriage.

[00:26:29] I'm sure because he had to deal with my crap. Yeah from all my from ideas and all the stuff that I went through and you know, I want, you know, I talked about having problems sexually emotionally our relationship. I mean crazy, so it was really really hard a lot of ups and downs and. All you all you dads out there [00:27:00] that this is a this is a truism here.

[00:27:02] You know, I've worked very hard to build a different kind of relationship with my daughters and my daughter's came to me when they first had their periods. My daughter's came to me might my daughter Taylor came to me when she first decided to have sex with her but first boyfriend, I wanted that I wanted that relationship because I know that having it approachable father for a young girl sets the tone.

[00:27:27] For what she will accept in relationships As you move forward. Well, you know, it's hard for you know guys out there who have young daughters man. Love them. You know, is it there a John Mayer song about that like Father's Love Your Daughters? Yes. Yes. I mean, it's a true. It's true them it really is so I know he loves me.

[00:27:45] I know he loved me, but you know it. My dad did the best he could show myself saying that the Nora my father never ever once I cannot remember my father ever saying I love you, [00:28:00] but those men didn't know but don't you know, you know, we can't compare. Past Generations using the standards of current Generations.

[00:28:10] We can't okay now that's a that's a that's a that's a dangerous thing to do with being done in our country today every single day now. Okay. And the reality is that those men those Italian men first generation Italian American, you know made the grandparents Came From Italy they would they will would they were charged with being protectors being hard there was.

[00:28:35] My father used to have a saying you don't let people take kindness for weakness. How can you take kindness for weakness? But back then if you were nice to somebody they would think you were a jerk and you they can get over on you they could steal from you. They can hurt your family. So those men were different the word love didn't come out of their mouths.

[00:28:52] They may have felt. And I'm sure they did but they just didn't say it. So you can't you can't hold that against them that stand no, my father did say love me and [00:29:00] my father had ten siblings. Also, my father came from a reverie in our ski and Brooklyn from a very I talk to you about that, you know hard hard life my know my grandfather.

[00:29:14] I never met him but was abusive to my father, you know, so I can he's told me he loves me it. Yes something he just couldn't face. Right and at the time it was extremely hard and but you know, I totally forgive and so with this phrase, you know, he would write me letters. I found them in my job cleaning out my room and it was bring up so many bad memories, but I did keep him out when I went to the Archdiocese.

[00:29:43] I kept him from being in the priesthood. So nobody else had come forward about him, but. Since then somebody else has written me about him. So I know there's been other people that have been affected by this one particular [00:30:00] person. So from there, I don't know if you want to go on from there. Well, no, I want to I want to I want to take a break because most people would think wow this girl's really been through it, but it actually gets there's still a little more that has to be discussed before we could talk about your remarkable life-changing choices.

[00:30:50] And when I cut coffee out for two weeks at all goes away. So for somatic has various products that are made from [00:31:00] mushroom their Elixir. They don't have any coffee in them have lots of other good stuff in them. And so I thought you know, I like to drink something in the morning. I like that ritual of something warm to sit on its ship on as I wake up, but I don't want to just drink warm water.

[00:31:15] I mean I wanted to do something for me. I wanted to wake me up. I want to feel good. As a result of drinking it and I found it if you are like me and you're thinking, you know, I just don't think coffee is good for my gut. But what do I drink you have to go to four Sig Matic? Fo you are SI G. M-- ATI c.com, /sh are go right to the elixirs.

[00:31:41] They have lion's mane chaga. They have Rishi. They have all of these great mushrooms that actually effect. Mental acuity and people say to me all the time. Come on, how could that be? And then I say to him. Well, you can take psilocybin mushrooms and they'll make you trip [00:32:00] don't discount the power of mushrooms to have a positive effect on your brain and the way you feel if you're like me and you're trying to find an alternative to coffee.

[00:32:12] Check out for Sig Matic.com /sh are and go right to the elixirs. Link at the top. I love lion's mane Elixir. It's got one and a half grams of pure lion's mane. And this is non-GMO organic stuff. This is great stuff and you drink it and in 15 minutes, you'll feel better than any cup of coffee. You ever had.

[00:32:39] I'm telling you check it out. The stuff we're talking with Leonora color Uso Leonora plug your your podcast. You just started a podcast where can people find you directly. They can go to surrender yoga.com. I think it's.com. You know, what like I know how you start the show [00:33:00] that the were just regular people.

[00:33:01] I'm just a regular person, but they can type that into Google surrender yoga.com and Hillsborough, New Jersey and. Do private yoga? I do personal training with women exclusively pretty much it'll explain on their lives. I will probably talk about that in a while and Reiki. I do. I'm a Reiki master.

[00:33:27] I also have a podcast. It's a new dawn for you the number for you letter U and it's about health and wellness and I just started it's really small, but I hope you guys will listen. Check it out. So check it out it actually I mean your story actually gets a little worse now because through all of this lo and behold you developed an eating disorder, didn't you?

[00:33:52] Yes, I did and it was pretty bad. I mean you were really really bad off weren't you? I was like, yeah, I was on death's door and nobody knew [00:34:00] from 16 to 22. Yeah. I started off being anorexic. It's all about control. It's not doesn't have a do anything with food has to do with control and I didn't have control in my life when this priest was abusing me.

[00:34:22] And I know that's why but it was the darkest loneliest time of my life. I was dating my husband that whole time that he had. He didn't know anything and to this day. I don't he doesn't want to know details about it. He doesn't. Now the hurt and the pain that I was in but honestly I because of my problems in my heart.

[00:34:48] I was brought to the hospital many times with electrolyte problem from drawing up and I was on the bathroom floor or any kind of floor throwing up blood [00:35:00] because I knew that that was that I would get all of my food out when blood started coming up dying on the floor. Other bathroom or whatever throwing up probably four times a day waiting for my mom.

[00:35:16] My mom eventually did get her license. I would wait in the Cabana for my mom to leave skip school and weight feels that would be the time I would be alone in the house and I can devour everything in the house and you know. Eating purging Purge. I'd wear baggy baggy clothes all the time and I would get so pissed off at my now husband because the imbalances in my mood.

[00:35:45] We're so drastic. From the food, you know going from one to another, you know, I get me another ice cream. I had to fill up my belly. It had to be worth it for me to throw up and you know, I would [00:36:00] have to fill up that void. I guess in my belly and. I'd be like get me another cone and he like you just ate and I'm like, what are you trying to tell me?

[00:36:09] I'm fat. And I mean this is like the emotional turmoil up and down just from I mean, you know between you and me you your husband sounds like a saint. Well, you know, I mean, I don't believe me, you know what I mean? He's a good guy. He's a very good guy, you know, but we both had our shit going through our marriage, but he died.

[00:36:34] Tad a lot of patience for me he's never like I can count probably on one hand how many times he's been like I told you this because I don't hear I'm hearing you because I've headphones in right the only way I can hear on a phone but I basically cannot hear and I'll tell you why because that a car accident so I got completely deaf in the other ear but [00:37:00] so the story goes on but he's never.

[00:37:04] In an even my five children, they really never lose their patience with me, which is amazing because I don't know if I could be the same way. I don't know but how many times I'm what what what but he is a good guy he is so getting back to the eating disorder. So yeah, this one goes on from the time you're 16 till the time your 22.

[00:37:25] Yeah, 16 to 22 I pretty much. That's all I thought about was food food. How is going to get it? How is going to throw up? How is going to get it? I was going to throw up. My teeth are completely ruined my gums are receding really bad because what I did was I would was a cleanest bulimic probably because I would throw up and I would make sure I brushed Terry brush with your toothbrush wherever you want then but what yeah, but what I was doing was brushing that ass.

[00:37:58] Around on my teeth, right [00:38:00] and wasn't smart, you know, like if you drink lemon water which I do an apple cider vinegar water, which I do you always want to switch out your mouth before you brush your teeth with clean water because you're brushing around that acid, right? So I really did a number on my.

[00:38:18] So yeah, it's really bad and I got married at 21 and I threw up on my wedding day many times. Yeah threw up on my honeymoon more than I members. I was in constant state of just. Sadness, that's and and fight or flight because it was just emergency to get to some bathroom went from the emergency state that your brother created in the house to the emergency state that you created in your own life with your bulimia because it was always you are always having to scheme.

[00:38:55] About where you were going to go and throw up and not get caught and what paraphernalia we're gonna have to [00:39:00] have with you and what if that didn't work out where could I go as a back-up plan? So you would like always in fight or flight mode all the time. Oh way. Oh way. Now. Did you use did you use drugs as a kid?

[00:39:10] We all grew up in that era where now I believe it or not. I really never and I'm really surprised about that. But what this bulimia did it save me from like I knew alcohol I couldn't throw up as well like and so I really didn't drink that much. I didn't you know, I was afraid I was afraid of afraid of John if you were to shout if you would have smoked weed you would have just eight and not thrown up that what I don't know.

[00:39:39] I remember I was in beauty school when I was young and. I remember they used to do Coke and in the car and during break and I'd be like no I'm high on life. I swear to God. I just that's funny. I have no clue how I was saved from that. No, that's good. You didn't need another nail in the corner.

[00:40:00] [00:40:00] The one thing that didn't happen to me. So so during this whole time at 19, I was a passenger in a car and I got in a major car accident. I don't remember the. So then but I was in the hospital three weeks. I was taken over to Mount Sinai from JFK hospital. I got had a fractured skull and a crushed facial nerve and at 19, you know, your looks are like wow, you know.

[00:40:30] I was in the midst of my bulimia like heavy duty and that was my third death experience. My first was spinal meningitis. My second was my bulimia. I don't know how I didn't die with that because I asked God to take me I said, please just take me you know, that's how painful was sorry. It's okay. I put myself back there.

[00:40:56] Sorry, it's okay. Oh my God. [00:41:00] Anyway, so during that time I had this car accident and I was started off in JFK and they pretty much weren't doing anything and facial nerve controls your movement in your face and your saliva and your tears and sweating actually and I didn't know what was. Because I was out of it for three days and I wake up and when I wake up at that time, they had brought me over to Mount Sinai because my father had known some important people and the doctor wasn't doing anything.

[00:41:39] So my father got me moved over to Mount Sinai and right away. They did surgery on me to take out the bone that was crushing my facial nerve and they shaved my head and back then of course they cut all back in my and they cut a school off. Cut part of my skull out to get to the nerve get to the Bone.

[00:41:59] They [00:42:00] save the bone actually and it's the bone that conduct sound so you can hear to call Uncle. Yeah, they don't call that the cochlea. Yeah. Well now part of the bond has three different bones. I forgot which one is so up and there's other ones and so they saved it and hopes after a year doing rehab for my face to move it again that they could.

[00:42:25] Surgery again shave my head again and implant the bone and again in hopes of having a growth. So it would I would be able to hear again and so it did not work so I'm completely deaf with no chance of anything and my right ear from my spinal meningitis, so I didn't even know what the heck was going on while I was in hospital three weeks.

[00:42:50] I know my husband who was my boyfriend then we'd come in and. Told me I wasn't losing my face. So it was like you have a stroke or you had [00:43:00] spells palsy or something like that, but I didn't know I wasn't all I knew is that the doctor would come in smile for me Twitch your eyes and you thought you were smiling when he said smile for you.

[00:43:10] Yes. Yes, raise your forehead close your eyes, you know, whatever. I had this big bandage around my head. I. Didn't know even about the hearing because I guess I'm so used to the other. I don't know right but I remember the first day when I got up to go home and I my husband said you I wanted to look in the mirror and I was like my boyfriend then was you don't want to do that and I'm like I want to and just imagine 19 years old and seeing my face not moving and then knowing that by that of course, I knew that I couldn't hear.

[00:43:50] And it was detrimental. It was just I had to wear these big Oracle glasses because you can't wear your contacts because you don't have the [00:44:00] moisture in your eyes for the contacts. And for a year. I had to go to Mount Sinai for Rehab back and forth from Jersey and I remember trying to have a New York pretzel for the first time because I used to like the New York pretzel and I couldn't chew it because I had no saliva.

[00:44:17] I mean it was like oh. God, what the heck's going on here. I but you know the first thing I thought of when I woke up from being out of it from the accident was oh my God, how am I going to throw up like throw up? Right? I was like that was such an important part of your life for so long. It's like, oh I can't do that anymore.

[00:44:38] It was crazy. But I did go back to Frying up eventually with my crooked face at all to go back to it, you know on and. Yeah, so I had the car accident. I was like that, you know, so at 21 I get married and I am not in a good State. I am I have my I knew I wasn't getting [00:45:00] pregnant and I felt that this was going to save me if I had children there was no way that I was going to throw up.

[00:45:07] There was no way I was going to make be detrimental to my children and did that work did that work? Well, yeah. I was on a quest to try. Story doesn't end there. No, cause you're like you're not fixed. You just you just abandoning a certain action. That's all you're doing. I have control over my chest.

[00:45:26] So they'll you know, I talked about it in my podcast about you know, I wanted to have these children but find out that I only have one tube and one ovary on opposite sides. I went to an infertility specialist and four-year had to go to surgery to try to corrupt this to see what the heck was going on and back then they caught you from one side to the act the next in my for my uterus.

[00:45:55] And and the last thing the doctor said was it would be a miracle if you get pregnant [00:46:00] but miracles happen and I got pregnant and it saved my life because from that day. Not throw up. I mean from grace of God I and this isn't typical. I mean, I don't know your listeners out there who are bulimic or anorexic.

[00:46:21] It does take work and I'm here for you. I want to let everybody know and I want to give out my email. We're gonna we're gonna do that, but I want to know so we realized that picture of a life. Course set on disaster here. Yes, so but that's not what happened. But that's not what happened to you.

[00:46:38] Your life is not a disaster because it ends up being great and I end up having five children like I. End up having getting pregnant with this first one and never using anything after that thinking I was blessed with one. I'm so grateful to have this beautiful boy who's 30 now and I [00:47:00] got pregnant six months later and I was like, well what the heck is going on?

[00:47:06] And I swear I had five children with an eight years and my husband had a vasectomy. Yeah, and it's amazing because anybody in the health feared field of you guys all know once you've been one ovary and opposite sides. It's pretty good. You have really that's like a really narrow chance of getting pregnant in general.

[00:47:24] Never mind, five back-to-back like the hazy and yes, I probably did not have them I used to wake up in nightmares thinking I was drawing up like in cold sweats like oh my god. Did I throw up today or yesterday or last night? But it's a mark off the calendar just like anything. It's a process and it was something that I don't know.

[00:47:47] I mean, I don't know because at that point meditation and yoga wasn't in the picture yet, but. That absolutely saved my mentality yoga and meditation and we're going to have we're gonna get into that. We're [00:48:00] going to take a break when we come back. We're going to change the tone of this interview gloss.

[00:48:05] This interview is any any life that is subjected to these challenges would be very very sad and no one would fault you if you said, I am not doing anything for the rest of my life. I don't care. I'm done. Here's why but that's not that's not what happened to you. I mean you join you you took control of your environment you took control of your life in a different way that ended up making you who you are today.

[00:48:32] We're going to talk about that when we come back from the break stay tuned. Welcome back. Your story's going to get good enough folks, you know, I did. I thought when you said that your face it moved a lot of women that pay for a lot of Botox to have that same thing happened just for the record.

[00:48:51] Yeah, you know, I'm just kidding. I'm just you know to this day you'll see on my social media. I kind of like know how to kind of [00:49:00] hide it and stuff. I have I have smile and Viet people because my teeth, you know the whole Chief thing and smile and on even but I'm so so grateful. I'm a huge grateful person where.

[00:49:14] Always there's always something be great. That's right. There's also something to be great. And in the worst of times is when you need to pull deep and find you know, dig deep and find them so so so let's talk about where you are today. So today will inspire other people through training in the gym.

[00:49:33] You are you love to lift weights, but you also have a approach that is important to me right now and that is balancing the drive with the with the the calm. We'll talk about that. Yeah, so my whole Focus really is bringing down the nervous system Bringing Down the nervous system because we are constantly I was constantly in spider flight like a lion chasing me my whole life [00:50:00] right being in that sympathetic parasympathetic nervous system all the time.

[00:50:05] So I want to enhance the parasympathetic nervous system the calming aspect because we're most of us are. System most of the day with our phones with outside noises with working with dub at work, you know with our typical jobs and and just going going going going all day and even when you're working out, you know, you're in that that mode so I like to bring all that and to balance my body mind and heart and even all that out.

[00:50:39] So my Yoga practices really focus on bringing it down. You know all types of Yoga is great. But in this stage of my life, you know, I've taught young people to where they're getting it where they need to put the Gap, you know, step step on the you know, break a little bit slow things down, [00:51:00] you know, so I incorporate all of that, you know, even in my training little personal training one on one.

[00:51:08] I have a studio at my house and a yoga studio and I don't play. Zack I kind of just have them focus on their breath and what we're doing that movement I make them hang, you know, and they could do it at you know, I can modify so they can do it and this way I talk about Prana flowing through their body and RG.

[00:51:30] What exactly is Prana explain that so its energy. It's just life force. How do you how do you manifested if I wanted? How do I know? Why? They're it's vital life force. So you manifested through your breath. So if you're breathing you're manifesting it and let you talk about the son. I know you you're a big proponent about the sun.

[00:51:53] I am not only that not only that but just just just this week the FDA. Released [00:52:00] research that shows that those micro particles of titanium and stuff in sunblock get right into the bloodstream within hours of putting it on and I have been talking about this for a decade. I would never use sunblock never ever die.

[00:52:20] Ever the sun played a huge role in our Evolution all of a sudden now, it's bad for us. It's a stupid idea world stupidest. Yeah, and even my clients, it's like my medication go out in the sun sun earth and are beautiful ways to get Prana. Being in touch with the Earth put your feet on the ground, you know go out in the sun.

[00:52:40] You don't want to get burned but you know go out and Son take a walk with you know, get fresh air, you know. Yeah and the gym, it's great. I do I work out like a beast but I'm bringing that down when a client signs up with me. You have to make time for that 15-20 minutes. We do yoga based [00:53:00] stretching we come down into the Yen that that.

[00:53:04] You know coming aspect of that nervous system we Center and ground I activate Prana through my hands. So what we do is rub our hands together in front of our hearts just create heat in the palms of your hands. You could do it right now. So place your hands in front of your heart rub your hands together quite vigorously create heat in the palms of your hands.

[00:53:29] Prada is very potent. In the palms of your hands, so they after a couple of seconds and maybe 10 15 seconds rubbing your hands together separate your hands about six to eight inches apart and bring them in and out without touching them and you probably feel that magnetic pole the electricity that little tingling and then I asked them to place their hands on a part of their body.

[00:53:52] It could be mental or physical where you'd like to have that pranic healing energy. Happens your fingers [00:54:00] keep your fingers close to conserve and keep that energy in that space and you can hover over that area or place your hands like me on that area keeping your eyes closed and keeping your chin tilted towards your heart and breathe into that space and the breathing makes the cells vibrate.

[00:54:18] And heal and then I asked them to Envision this white beautiful healing light and eloping that area wiping in it. Darkness wiping it all away any sickness anything that's not important for you at that time. It's wiping it all away. And it just kind of brings you down. It's not never takes you down a notch from

[00:54:47] that from what we just did because we did work out quite hard, but then you're getting into the state. For the body to heal and for the muscles to repair, so it's so important [00:55:00] to be in that state at least one time a day. I mean, how often do you do that people don't do that people. Don't take the time to breathe and to sit.

[00:55:11] How many I mean really it's so important so I want to tell a story. When I got sick, I was 39 years old. I was under so much stress running a business that I hated raising children. I was fat I was 330 pounds. I was in horrible. And I had an anxiety attack that I thought I was dying because anybody who's ever had an anxiety attack gnosis you feel oh my God, something's wrong.

[00:55:41] I think I'm dying. That's the first name. Like how do you know you die, huh? So I've got to the hospital. My blood pressures through the roof. I'm obviously agitated. So the nurse says to me, hold on. We're going to give you a shot. So she gives me a. And about maybe [00:56:00] five or six minutes later I go something's wrong.

[00:56:02] She goes. What do you mean? What's wrong? I said something's wrong. I'm telling you. Something's wrong. This doesn't feel right. I should get my blood pressure. My blood pressure was normal. She goes. No, what's wrong is that you feel more comfortable? Where you were now all of a sudden you think something's wrong you bloody movie just came down to where it belongs to this is what normal feels like.

[00:56:23] She said to Brooke and I thought to myself. My God, I have been in this constant state. Of of anxiety and pressure that normal doesn't feel right to me anymore. Right? I'm doing always we're not human beings were human doings and we ought to get back to being human beings right example talk about talk about I want to talk about you now, so where you are in your life in.

[00:56:54] I'm really impressed with you when you told me yeah, we live very very rustically you live [00:57:00] in a log cabin on 17 Acres. Right? Right. And so you're off the grid, right? I'm off the grid and and does it and do you notice it like when you have to go into into the city when you have to go to friends, how do you feel the change in the shift in energy?

[00:57:16] Seriously? I do I do I would never. My kids make fun of me because I my daughter loves New York and and I have one daughter and for boys and she's my youngest. She's 22 almost 22 in June and she's like my mother in New York. She'll hold my hand. Like I just feel everybody's energy and and my eye contact automatically go into this state of fright in New York, and I have a best friend who lives in Long Island in North Babylon, and I will drive there.

[00:57:49] That's the only place where I'll go and I just even going there and that's not even in the midst of all this chaos, but it's I need [00:58:00] nature. I need I thrive on nature. I you know, I am a beast. I've been working out since I'm 16, you know, I'm a trainer but I won't go into a gym with all these people I.

[00:58:14] Like I said, I train one-on-one putting the personal into personal training because I need that Serenity. I had enough of that crap for most of my life. I don't know if chaos in my head. You know that I need my meditation. I'm pretty high maintenance when it comes to my sanity. I need my yoga. I mean my my working out I need my walk in nature.

[00:58:38] I need my meditation and you have to have to be almost militant. Right to protect it pretty much very militant. That is one thing. I can't pretty much sway from you know, you wanted to talk about diet. I don't know how much time you have your mind. Well, let's talk about that. I'm going to ask you why what's a day in your life.

[00:58:57] Give me an example. Wake up in [00:59:00] the morning one. Okay. So today my life. I pretty much wake up very early. I just automatically wake up pretty early. I want to say six. Maybe I'll wake up. I will meditate. I hate right away. So I have a little altar in my bedroom and I'll meditate for half hour and then I will have something called sole Sol é é and I've been having that for have you heard of it have not.

[00:59:31] What is it? You have not know so it is not some newfangled thing. It's been around forever, but it's pretty much Himalayan crystal salt stone and you put them on a bottom of. Mason jar glass and you fill the rest with water. I use CG water. I don't drink Fiji Water all day. I have well water but I use it for this and I cover it with plastic.

[00:59:55] You don't want to use metal and people can look it up because it would take a [01:00:00] long time to explain it but you don't want to use metal with it. I take a teaspoon of the concoction up on top of the what are those this is making sense to you and I mix a teaspoon of the Solway. It's called. It's spelled the same of Soul.

[01:00:14] Okay, and I put it in a cup of tea G water. I mix it up. I start my day with that. So what it does is it gives you all the minerals that you need and a lot of us are lacking in minerals because we have filters most of us have filters on our water and I found this mixture out through having some issues with hair and all of this stuff 10 years ago whenever I started it.

[01:00:42] And found this on the internet and it's pretty cool. So from there it gets your body's going it just jump starts it and then I do the same thing. I put Himalayan sea salt the pink sea salt in my oatmeal in the morning. I [01:01:00] loved one. That would be great. But this is different. It's just the water the mixture once it's 24 hours in this jar.

[01:01:09] The this top portion is the. And that's the perfect mix of all the minerals that you need for the day. So you put it in the water and like I said, it will jumpstart your body a little bit of the bathroom better. And then from there. I have my 32 ounce mason jar of fresh lemon water room temperature and as I'm making the bed, you know as I'm doing my morning routine and checking my email.

[01:01:34] I'll be drinking that that's 32 ounces of lemon water at that time. I'm making my organic black coffee. Like my coffee, I have one cup of organic black coffee in the morning and doing my emails and stuff like that. And then you know, I definitely Monday Wednesday Friday get my Beast workout in I get people in if I need them in for yoga training all of that.

[01:02:00] [01:02:00] I try to make time every day. I will make my schedule open enough where I get. Some kind of walk are running. I'm not a runner for say but there are days where I just like if I feel like running I'll run right? I'm not I'm not fast but more and more about rejoicing in the day. It's a nice day getting out in nature nature is my jog is totally my drug.

[01:02:25] I'll hug trees. I'm very weird. But that's okay. You ask my kids are very weird. But you know, I'll hug the trees. I'll just appreciate what the trees are giving up because they're giving us life and we are giving them life. I mean, did you ever think about that JC? Right, right. So yeah, so I walk on topaz Style.

[01:02:48] You know just meditate again, you know, I just make time because it keeps me sane and when I look back and and I think about [01:03:00] rocking on the bathtub because that's how messed up. I was you know, like in a ball. I am so grateful that and I say grapples everyday into my phone that you put on that little recorder and I'll do five grapples that I'm grateful for the day and five great goals II say in present tense, but they've already happened like they've already happened.

[01:03:25] So I'm grateful for the beautiful show I had with Carl I said that yesterday cool very cool computer for the show is today. So the so important great those will change your life. They're really well. It's and it's all repetition and you can write them down you can do whatever but be grateful and be kind but yeah, so that's a typical day and I.

[01:03:51] Eat to live. I don't live to eat. Mmm. That's good. That's different. So it is I make this Superwoman smoothie that I've pretty [01:04:00] much made for so long, but that main ingredient that keeps my brain stable is coconut oil. I have to say I know there's a lot of good and bad things about it. But let me tell you I've said it on my podcast to it's really great for balance in the brain.

[01:04:20] Most people can tolerate it therapeutic amount is about 2 tablespoons a day you work up to that but this has kept me saying so I do put it in my smoothie. It helps absorb Vitamins because a good fat will help absorb vitamin C. You want a cold pressed organic coconut oil? I find a big canisters at Costco virgin coconut oil and I just drop that baby in that smoothie I use hemp.

[01:04:50] Chia seeds my gosh canoe which is the highest source of vitamin C superfood see a mu [01:05:00] I use flax and you buy them whole T's organic. You don't want them cross because they're already ramped up by then. We want to crush them before you put them in their smoothie. So I use a little cheap coffee grinder and I'll crush them before I put them in I use a whole package of greens all.

[01:05:19] The greens I shoved them in there. So I make enough for two smoothies for two days. I use frozen banana. I use frozen berries because their lows are lower in Sugar organic. Everything's organic. I use a green powder by sunwarrior. I use. Oh my gosh the days of just well water probably some other stuff on my gosh.

[01:05:46] What am I forgetting? So I have a question I so I have a question for you. Does Todd do these things to or know naturally same? Yeah, but I also want to tell people would [01:06:00] do smoothies. They're great, but you want to chew that. You got to have some stuff some stuff. You have to chew them liquid any liquid you want to chew because that's for the digestive process starts in your mouth.

[01:06:12] You don't don't you know, that's it. That's a really interesting observation. You're right because to chewing no no, you know how I know you're right cuz I went one when I went in for my. When I went for one for my one of my foot surgeries, I showed you know, they tell you that don't eat or drink anything the morning of the surgery and I show up to.

[01:06:32] Gum, and the anesthesiologist came out and says how long you been chewing that gum eyes all morning. He says we may have to postpone your your surgery. I said why. He said chewing does the same thing to the gut as eating up all the digestive mechanisms. And yeah, well, not only that but the muscles that are responsible for motility moving [01:07:00] food through you.

[01:07:00] He says they're all turned on they think. Common, right right. And that's true. And you also it will save you from any discomfort in the gut because a lot of people if they don't chew, right, they got some bloating and things like that and you know, people do the smoothies or drinks, they might notice that they have some bloating after and that's from just chugging it down.

[01:07:21] That's how you want to and you can look on YouTube how to chew your smoothie that's interesting. That's really cool. Yeah, definitely. So yeah. That's a main part of my meal. It's probably like six hundred seventy seven hundred calories. So it's not some lightweight thing, right? This has all my macros in it its own I use a really good P protein organic pea protein, you know in it and so I'm mixing the fat the protein and carbs.

[01:07:51] So it's really great. I feel like superwoman after I drink it it's crazy and I love I like fatty [01:08:00] foods. I drive on good fat. So like dinner is very simple. My kids are really not even home. So I don't make McNeil's. My husband is a meat and potatoes kind of guy. I don't eat meat but you know, I talked about energy and food.

[01:08:16] I don't. And I'll follow you. Are you are you vegan? Do you eat? I want to say I'm more vegetarian. I do eat eggs every once in a while, but you know, whatever you eat and if you believe in trying or whatever whatever I eat I don't care what it is. I'll have what even quote unquote bad food. I will pray to have the best nutrients that I can get from the food the best energy.

[01:08:43] Please give me the best energy from this food it. Proven that molecules change in water if you talk to it differently. So give love to your food. You know, I said in one podcast and want, you know, my husband makes me food and he's pissed off. I'm not eating that food. It's not made [01:09:00] with love. You want to make your not you want to make your food with love?

[01:09:04] You want to eat your food with love. You want to eat it with Consciousness, right? You know, what's funny there was a study about seven or eight years ago that showed that. Without changing the caloric content of meals that people who were conscious about what they were eating and this is what they did.

[01:09:25] They made people sit down at a meal. They made them sit quietly for five minutes, which probably felt like a long time to most. And then they were not allowed to look on their phone or watch TV or listen to the radio. They had to sit with their food. They had to eat their food there to be thoughtful about chewing their food tasting and food and these people lost body fat.

[01:09:50] I believe it because when you're in that state, that's exactly what I was talking to you before bringing your body in a state of the parasympathetic you're in that [01:10:00] calming state. So in that calming State you're able to heal you able to lose weight. So, you know, if you're in constant fight or flight like most of us, are you have a hard time you hang onto things are rigid and you know, you're not letting go you're not surrendering, right?

[01:10:18] So absolute make sense. I want to take all this commercial break and then we'll tell people how they can reach you if they want to work with you or they just want to say hi. So stay tuned. We'll be right back babe that quality of focus product is legit. So I like I said earlier. I'm trying to get coffee.

[01:10:37] I've been using quality of folks in the morning and I'm using it as a pre-workout to and it works and you don't even have to take the whole dose. The whole dose is like seven caps. I. And that if you just take 3 it's more than enough if you haven't checked it out yet. You really need to try it.

[01:10:51] It's great stuff. We're talking with Lenora Caruso. So Lenora, how can people reach out to you? How can they reach you? If they just want to say? [01:11:00] Hello. They loved your story of course, and I'm open I love to talk and I wish I had hours to talk to you because I can. Talk your ear off probably but can I give out my phone number if you feel comfortable with that you may end up getting some calls.

[01:11:15] You don't want to get I mean, I think email email might be a little safer, but I don't know what you're very trusting person. I get that I am. I'm getting I'm here to protect you. Okay, just give an email address. But otherwise you'll get pictures of people's body parts that you don't want and like I said, I want to you know, my whole thing is personal one-on-one.

[01:11:37] So I am small. So if you're in Central Jersey, I'm in Hillsborough, New Jersey and you want somebody who's passionate about health and wellness and does things a little bit differently a lot differently. I think you can go to surrender. Yoga Business site in Hillsborough, New Jersey with you type it into Google should bring [01:12:00] you right there and my email is it's a new dawn for you.

[01:12:05] It's all one thing. The four is the number and the you is the letter U at gmail.com. And I am on Instagram and Facebook and you know was trying to do the crazy. You know, I can't do videos all the time and it's just not I. Not my thing, but you know, you can check me out there. I am on Lenora collar Russo and I also have a business Instagram.

[01:12:36] Oh my God, I don't even know what it is. I think my niece changed it on me. I'm sure you change it. It was it was something else and then it became my new stayed on a new dawn for your own for you with the letter U number you for and the letter U, that's so I have to Instagrams and then my Facebook is going to our caller is.

[01:12:55] And then I have it it's a new dawn business page and I want to I want to give this [01:13:00] website. So people understand the website is surrender yoga dot business dot sight s ite. So that's the actual. How do you find our I'm looking at it? So okay. That's it. I Googled I Googled your place in Jersey that came up and then it said here's the website.

[01:13:17] So it's surrender yoga dot business dot sight. Okay, and you sought. There's up there the cat. Oh, yeah, you're there and the cabin know the cabin is beautiful. Now. Did you guys build that cabin from scratch? My husband? Yeah. My husband did I saw my aunt? We dropped off my son and Vermont University bike five years ago and driving home.

[01:13:39] I see this home on the side of the road. I'm like so we go in and I'm like, this is what I want, please, you know, I need Serenity. So my kids my daughter still home, but my other children are. Pretty much gone so it took four years. So there's going to be another we're going to keep doing things because he's doing [01:14:00] it all himself.

[01:14:01] It's now yeah, so we're actually my son is getting married June 1st right outside there. There's like we have a pond and you know, that's where we would practice who have anybody wanted to come we practice in Serenity and. You know, that was my goal is to just wow, the inside of the house is amazing.

[01:14:21] Those wood floors are unbelievable wood floors are from our property from neuter the more I hear about Todd the boy like him. I got to be honest with you. You have to meet him because I told him yesterday said he reminds me of growing up. Yeah, right one of the guys. Yeah, because you did Canarsie Brooklyn all your accent.

[01:14:42] You played handball blah blah blah. You know, I'm like you would like him. Now. This guy is guy's a keeper. Let me tell you something right now. He's built some cabin and man. He harvested all that wood from the land. That's great. That's amazing. Yes. Yes. Yes. I'll play my I'm not kidding. I [01:15:00] will do some bring your bring your whole nervous system down.

[01:15:03] Yeah. There you go. That's what I need. That's what I really need. I have to I've given up coffee. I've given I've given I'm only having small doses of caffeine right now in my my. Focus I get there's only 10 milligrams of caffeine per capsule on having like three in the morning but the other stuff that's in there is amazing and I'm really I've had a cut the caffeine down.

[01:15:24] I really have to tell you that I'm convinced that caffeine is destroying people today. Well, you know what you might be right you may be right but my thing too is like we can overdose on all the good things to I can make somebody in fight or flight just by saying you should do this and you should do that and add that to your regimen and you know, so, you know.

[01:15:44] Look for you then do it. That's it. No shit. Now whatever works for you Lenore. Thanks for coming on the show. And thank you so much honest and sharing all this stuff and hopefully people out there listening and they find some inspiration in the fact that I hope [01:16:00] you've had a lot of challenges and you found your way to become a wonderful person.

[01:16:03] Thanks so much reach out to me if anybody needs me. Okay. Talk to you soon everybody tomorrow with more superhuman radio. Thank you for listening [01:17:00] today.