Carl Lanore: [00:00:00] [00:00:00] I didn't have my own mic on usually I do that to the guests. Welcome back to Super Mario. This is the Premier edition of Open Season on man.

[00:00:10] It's been a decade that I've been threatening to do a show like this and the time has come really has and of course John Romano has been slated to be my co-host on this show because the course while we see a lot of the same things pretty much similar. We have a lot of opposing views and I think it's.

[00:00:27] He's also in the Wheelhouse of the objective of the show, and I want to tell what people the you know, I think a lot of people when we first talked about doing the show John, I think everybody thought this was going to be like a bitch Fest about how we hate women and neither one of us hate women, right?

[00:00:45] No,

[00:00:45] John Romano: [00:00:45] not at all.

[00:00:46] Carl Lanore: [00:00:46] Okay, I think I think it's fair to say that we love women. You've Ivory I've written I've read some of the stuff you wrote for muscular development about your escapades. When you were an early bodybuilder and stuff like that. I think that we both very very much love women. We loved [00:01:00] our mothers.

[00:01:01] Yes, you know, and that's and that's it. That's a key foundation for building love for women, right, you know in general you love a woman you respect a woman the first woman you love and you respect his your mom and then you transfer versions of that. Two women in your life that you love and respect, you know it starts there but.

[00:01:19] I mean, what do you think? Did you didn't want this to be a bitch Fest? You didn't want to be Joy Behar right the male dreaded. All right

[00:01:29] John Romano: [00:01:29] male the male Joy Behar no. No, I you know, there's there's a I think there's a tremendous disconnect today in America with. Respect to the actual identity of men and masculinity and what that means to society and there's a tremendous amount of it that has been broken up and dissected and misaligned maligned and and you know [00:02:00] recompose and to be something that's just absolutely not to the point where masculinity is been tagged as toxic

[00:02:08] Carl Lanore: [00:02:08] and.

[00:02:09] John Romano: [00:02:09] That is just so counterproductive to what Society needs today. Society does not need maleness men masculinity to be termed toxic. We need men in this Society because we have a lot of very.  low male men running around doing things that are just ruining the society as a whole because of what this reflects.

[00:02:34] On the the new generation of boys coming up to men who are not being or not becoming real men.

[00:02:44] Carl Lanore: [00:02:44] So I guess in order for you to think masculinity is a bad thing.  You'd have to look at the actions of men and attribute either a moral or societal judgment [00:03:00] on these actions. So the things that men do.

[00:03:03] That are bad. So therefore masculinity is bad but men raise children men contribute to families men fight Wars. See that's the one I wanted to say that you know where men are looked at as we're violent.  And and it's not popular to say that violence has a place in society today. Unfortunately, it does.

[00:03:31] If someone is attacking you and you decide to be Gandhi you die. So what did you achieve but

[00:03:40] John Romano: [00:03:40] generally exist?

[00:03:41] Carl Lanore: [00:03:41] Yeah, so so I mean, you know, I think that the problem is that.  we have labeled certain behaviors bad and exclusively male, but women kill women stabbed. 

[00:03:56] John Romano: [00:03:56] They're let me stop you there before we get too far off off the [00:04:00] track.

[00:04:00] Men are bad. I mean there is there is all sexual assaults are mailed generate and think there's maybe a tenth of a percent of them are women 99.9% of sexual assaults are men. The far majority of the population in prison is men men are responsible for going to war destroying things blowing shit up violence violent attacks.

[00:04:23] These are all male dominated actions. That's just the facts. Okay, you can go all the way down to the to the inherent instinctual aspects of male/female roles in society. Whereas women are tagged the creators and men are the Destroyers men are the women are the ones who have babies men are the ones who

[00:04:45] Carl Lanore: [00:04:45] hug lives.

[00:04:46] Take live. They kill the killer, right?

[00:04:48] John Romano: [00:04:48] Yeah, very good point men take lives women create them. Although there are women murderers and you know bad women to I mean, it's not to say all but [00:05:00] overwhelmingly the majority is met so there's a point to be made for that. However,  I'm your if you're in a city life and death situation and it's going to come down to you living and dying and you're going to choose a man or a woman to save your ass.

[00:05:15] You're going to choose the man. Plain and simple

[00:05:18] Carl Lanore: [00:05:18] and it could be said that a large portion of our trajectory in evolution was male initiated in that the fact that we we hunted we put ourselves at risk women gathered. They did contribute there was no way around it. But you know men were the ones that got together and and hunted a mammoth and then the whole tribe ate four weeks and.

[00:05:46] And Wars are unnecessary Wars ideologically driven 99% of the time religious read it religious ideology or just some sort of societal ideology that somehow [00:06:00] we are better than you but men fight Wars because men are the ones that have the strength to fight Wars if women were stronger than men through through through evolutionary history.

[00:06:11] Women would have been the ones chosen to fight Wars sure.

[00:06:15] John Romano: [00:06:15] Sure, and the fact that the fact that it's Society has as a whole put the shoulder of the burden of just about everything on the man. So for example, your you and your wife are out in the car driving when I car gets a flat tire who's going to get out in the rain and fix the flat.

[00:06:33] It's not even a discussion, right? Okay, you're having dinner to eat at a table. Who does the waiter put the bill down or front of right? It's not one of discussion Boom. The guy's job men open the door for the woman not the other way around there is a societal.

[00:06:47] Carl Lanore: [00:06:47] There's a subscribe annotation.

[00:06:49] John Romano: [00:06:49] Yeah. Exactly societal expectation that a male will do the male's job right in the mail job has been identified and defined through what [00:07:00] society's values as his place in the hierarchy and and women there's somehow that got twisted up into being something bad and you know, there's there's a movement afoot now.

[00:07:15] To to condemn men for doing what men do

[00:07:20] Carl Lanore: [00:07:20] well, in fact this kind of nicely segues into the discussion of Fathers and Sons. Yes. So there's an overwhelming number of homes today with weak men as the male counterpart because there are an overwhelming number of women today who choose men that they feel they can control better.

[00:07:44] And so a lot of times they'll choose guys that have certain qualities of ability to generate money, but also a kind of you know, not not really very masculine guys easy pushovers, you know, that sort of thing. I saw it yesterday. I [00:08:00] was in a store. And the guy wanted to pay and the woman says no, no no and she came up with a reason why she had to use her credit card and he just kind of sheepishly backed off and I got the feeling that this was a common dance between them where she makes the body and she's the one who spend the money and I'm sure he contributed at least half to the money that they've accumulated and I thought you know, this is part of the problem today.

[00:08:25] Men have been relegated to women because of selection and women choose if you don't like where evolution is going blame women because they're the ones who drive the choices the selection pressure but women women tend to choose weaker men today for a variety of reasons and then I'm when you take that and apply it in concert with the fact that there are millions of fatherless homes today.

[00:08:52] I would argue I would I would offer the supposition that the reason that we're seeing this is [00:09:00] because we don't have strong males in the house hold any longer either they're completely absent or their derelict of of any real masculine qualities any longer.

[00:09:11] John Romano: [00:09:11] Have you ever heard of Rafal slaw

[00:09:13] Carl Lanore: [00:09:13] know it

[00:09:14] John Romano: [00:09:14] bro, Flawless law is basically states that all relationships are transaction.

[00:09:20] And and women seek men for a deal they're looking to be and this actually can be traced back to instinctual characteristics as the female is tasked with propagation of the species. She's the one who gives birth. So she's the one that's going to look for an appropriate mail. To Father The Sire the children take care of them be a good provider and and that's a transaction.

[00:09:49] She's going to trade the certain amount of service for for that. What happens is when you get to the [00:10:00] example you gave about women choosing weaker men for to make this transaction. You gotta you gotta play the chicken in the egg, you know, which came first what happened? There is a much larger population today of effeminate men than there ever have been ever in history.

[00:10:18] Okay, the men today are weak across the board and I have never seen in my lifetime 59 years on this planet. I have never seen as much. Pandering to weak men as I have today and you look at there's a commercial on TV now for some dating site. Okay, and the girl, you know, she's cute and she you know, whatever.

[00:10:41] She's doing her thing. The guy has like almost her. Well, it's his name Tyler and you know, he's got a cat and he's you know, he drinks his coffee drink and he loves living in the city and he's like, he's like a total total feminine touches. We used to say, right?

[00:10:58] Carl Lanore: [00:10:58] You

[00:10:58] John Romano: [00:10:58] know and [00:11:00] and I'm like, where's the fucking Marlboro Man?

[00:11:03] You know what? I mean? Where's where's the where's the guy that's exudes masculinity and strengthened and you know machismo who's going to like be a person to feel safe with and get a feel safe with Tyler. What is Kat, you know say absolutely not so women are being availed, you know to this parade of choices.

[00:11:26] That aren't very good. You know, so so what

[00:11:29] Carl Lanore: [00:11:29] do they can happen? I I see I see it from the other side. I see the I see the driver being women's choices. See I think I think today's women want girlfriends with penises. That's really what they want. They want. They want to a guy who is look. Carrot caring and caring is not what the word mutually exclusive from being masculine.

[00:11:59] Right masculine [00:12:00] men can care they can nurture. They can be loving this. You know, that's the other problem we have, you know, we've been put into these silos, right, you know Neanderthal, you know, he's such a neanderthal. Well, you know what men are not neanderthals. It's sad that we're. We're we're castigated into this into this monolith of all you're either you're either a weak wimpy loving guy or you're a strong guy.

[00:12:25] You can't be a strong guy and still be loving and so but I really feel that today's what you know, you said something and it made me think, you know back in the back in the early days women gave things to men. Men gave things to women it was as you point out. It was a mutual transaction relationship and somehow and probably because of religion somehow that transactional relationship became somehow dirty.

[00:12:58] You know like because [00:13:00] because when you mean just look at divorce, right A man is supposed to continue to give his ex-wife money. So she can remain in the standard of living that she has become accustomed to the guy can't say to the judge. Well, I want I want sex twice a week then the I mean women are like you wanted sex give you I don't owe you sex.

[00:13:20] Well actually if you look historically through Evolution, yeah, you do because that's what you gave men. To get them to go out and hunt and kill and fight and protect you from saber-toothed tigers. That's what you gave them. We're and and somehow I think religion came into and then women became like when a section sex is not something I owe you it's not and that's what and that's part of why I think that women look for weak guys that that right there.

[00:13:46] Well,

[00:13:47] John Romano: [00:13:47] then because women interpreted that is objectification. Yeah, and who wants to be objectified right? But

[00:13:55] Carl Lanore: [00:13:55] the guy was guys are objectified. 

[00:13:58] John Romano: [00:13:58] Absolutely, [00:14:00] but it doesn't it doesn't but because we're supposed to be the strong ones that he so it doesn't matter. He'll get over that. We're women at cripples them for life.

[00:14:07] Carl Lanore: [00:14:07] Well, the other problem is men don't talk about. Right meant so when women go through tough times. They have a they have a group of girlfriends they go and they talk and they come up with ideas and solutions and they go on guys, they're quiet. They go sit in their chair and they stew they don't want to talk about it with anybody.

[00:14:25] They don't you open up with friends. That's really part of the reason. I want to do the show. I felt like we don't we don't talk about this stuff. It's like why don't we talk about this stuff? Or

[00:14:35] John Romano: [00:14:35] to get high or get drunk or go to the gun range or go out with their buddies and you know bang hookers, you know, they do they do what what.

[00:14:42] Carl Lanore: [00:14:42] Male

[00:14:44] John Romano: [00:14:44] what male Essence give meant forces them to our or entices them to do not forces but entices them to do men typically internalize their their vulnerability and whereas women wear it on their sleeve, right? So and there's never a shortage of a [00:15:00] coffee clutch or women willing to talk about you know, what's bothering them.

[00:15:04] Right? So, you know men don't have that and then don't need it, honestly. You know guys, there's a great there's a great meme out there. It's the difference between men and women and one shows this machine and it's full of buttons and dials and knobs and switches and complicated gauges and wires and pipes and plumbing.

[00:15:27] And that's the woman the guy it's a box with an on/off switch.

[00:15:30] Carl Lanore: [00:15:30] Right right that bitch then I stabbed his Niche right

[00:15:34] John Romano: [00:15:34] and and women if they would just understand that. They would have so many fewer problems dealing with men because men what is a man want man wants he's going to go out and go to work.

[00:15:46] He wants to come home to a hot meal. Two hours in the bedroom and a good night's sleep. Wake up to a hot breakfast and he's going to go out and do it again, you know,

[00:15:57] Carl Lanore: [00:15:57] but okay, but what's changed in society? Well, I got to get [00:16:00] to lend moskovitz this comment Tyler and his bride are going to raise a son in their image.

[00:16:05] This is exactly the problem. We're discussing here and and with every generation men become less like men. Yeah, but but you know to your point here, it's like if women are out in the workplace now earning to which kind of you know, we the part of the problem is we have a shifting of roles.

[00:16:30] John Romano: [00:16:30] Yes,

[00:16:30] Carl Lanore: [00:16:30] you know we have women who make more money than their husbands.

[00:16:33] We have women who get tagged and divorces having to pay their husbands alimony. It's not exclusively a male thing. Now. It's an outlier when it's a woman but it's not an exclusive thing. We have roles changing that kind of Muddy this up as well. I don't think guys have done as good of a job.

[00:16:52] Transitioning in my humble opinion and I'll tell you something to add to something. You said earlier in the [00:17:00] show you no more men commit suicide than women more men are institutionalized are alcohol addicted to drugs and alcohol are in jail and interestingly enough. Boy babies cry more often than girl babies until boy babies are four years old.

[00:17:23] Really? Yeah, and I don't believe that something switches in them. I believe that they're told Boys Don't Cry. Yeah, and that's where that's why we go bang hookers and drink and do Coke when we're frustrated instead of getting together with the guys and going, you know, I feel bad about this. What should I do?

[00:17:41] right.

[00:17:44] John Romano: [00:17:44] There's theirs.  You know, there's a bit of that that has to do with you know the image. A male will present to another male. You don't ever want to seem weak. Yeah. [00:18:00] Okay. We stand my Our Generation. Anyway, you don't actually meet a way that's different. You see them in Starbucks all the time with their man buns in the glitter in their beard and the sweater tied around their neck and a man purse draped over to bed back in the chair right there talk about, you know their relationship and it's like yeah to a woman that's fantastic.

[00:18:18] That's what they want to see but to another guy that's like.

[00:18:21] Carl Lanore: [00:18:21] But maybe that's what has to change. Maybe that's one of the things we need to know maybe big strong masculine guys like you and I I mean, we're clearly no one would ever accuse us of being metrosexuals right? Maybe we need to start talking about the sensitive stuff.

[00:18:39] So the guys can finally go. Oh, it's okay for me to be strong and masculine and the Marlboro Man but also to talk to my friends. When I feel like something's going on in my life that I need a little advice on maybe that's part of the problem. Maybe that's the transition men need to make to

[00:18:58] John Romano: [00:18:58] a point to [00:19:00] a point.

[00:19:01] I mean, there's a great scene in Gladiator where you know, he comes back from war and he's. Washes the blood off his hands and then he goes into the bedroom when he may have sex makes love to his wife. Okay. So yeah, there's there's a transition in a transitional period that period that takes place between the the utmost exemplification of masculinity and the utmost.

[00:19:28] Tenderness that a guy can can generate for the opposite sex or for his child or a dog. Okay, but so the transition is got to be what's intact. What happens is the metrosexual movement today stymies them in that side and they don't Transit they don't transaction. They don't they don't they don't move.

[00:19:47] It's there all the way over there or they're all the way over here. So guys like us who can transition are rare. And we're becoming more rare by the day because you're either [00:20:00] getting the holdouts from our generation. That won't pass that point and be you know vulnerable and or you're getting the ones that are always vulnerable.

[00:20:09] So, you know, there's probably more than Society like there's chemical factors that take place. I think the estrogen levels are very high today than the in the food the air the water everything. Ever been in Guadalajara. For example, there's six girls born for every boy.

[00:20:28] Carl Lanore: [00:20:28] There's places in South America that they blaming this.

[00:20:32] So where they where they grow sugar cane in South America. I can't remember the some of these towns named but I read this a couple years ago. They have a very very high degree of what is called Mono cryptic. It is mm or die cryptic. It is MM and this is either one testicle doesn't drop or neither testicles drop right in boys and they're attributing it not just to the estrogenic compounds but the the [00:21:00] androgenic compounds that that obscure the receptor from being stimulated by real androgens like DHT.

[00:21:06] And so you're absolutely right. We live today in in a toxic soup that is affecting that is if that is affecting gender and it's why we have it's why we have so many lbgt people today. Somebody wants to ask me. Do you think that this bumper crop of LGBT people is because we have the internet now, No, you have you have people who are forming in the womb.

[00:21:35] And so the first trimester is when the the genitalia forms the brain forms last in the third trimester sexual preference. So if you have if you have high levels of estrogen in the first trimester, but now all of a sudden you have some sort of Androgen receptor modulating chemical in the third.

[00:21:56] You'll have a vagina a child with a vagina who's attracted [00:22:00] to women. Right.

[00:22:01] John Romano: [00:22:01] Yes. Yes. Yes, I went but we all we all see the zygote all starts out female to begin with. So, you know, the transition and during gestation is affected by numerous factors chemical included. So yeah, you know the chemical soup as you pointed out is in an extremely, you know relevant issue with this whole thing.

[00:22:26] But if you know the and the etiology the metrosexual homosexual transgender etiology, I won't go I wouldn't rule out the internet completely. I think social media is partly responsible for just like veganism but put social media is responsible for a lot of this promotion of gender identity.

[00:22:46] Carl Lanore: [00:22:46] I got to be honest with you Jon that so like like veganism is is a moral.

[00:22:57] Construct but [00:23:00] you know, I've thought about this a lot. I've thought about like, you know, can I could I just wake up one morning and think gee I wonder what it would feel like to have balls on my chin, you know, like I just I don't think you can do it. I don't think a guy can I mean he may think to himself for a second like, you know.

[00:23:17] No, like not you either a wired that way or you're not I don't think that's like veganism where I I'm going to give this veganism a try my guts been bothering me and and I'll be saving animals. Yeah, let me try it like yeah, I think I'm gonna give guys a try. I it doesn't I don't think they do that

[00:23:33] John Romano: [00:23:33] motto me clarify.

[00:23:35] It's the popularity of it. Okay, so they're very well could be the an equal number of transgender gender confused and metrosexual homosexual etiologies. Foisting for fostering themselves in society and we would never know about it without social media. Okay?

[00:23:54] Carl Lanore: [00:23:54] Okay.

[00:23:55] John Romano: [00:23:55] So media brings us all to the

[00:23:56] Carl Lanore: [00:23:56] Forefront area.

[00:23:57] There is no closet at there is no closet [00:24:00] anymore.

[00:24:00] John Romano: [00:24:00] It makes it okay. So while you may not have ever thought of what it feels like that balls on your chin. 50 guys who ever have and never would say anything about it now read a post from a guy who does have balls on his chin who never thought it would be he would do that.

[00:24:13] And so it's okay to think like that how I'm going to respond and say yeah, I used to think about having balls on my chin to yeah, right. So, you know, then it becomes a you're okay. I'm okay bullshit, right? So. So, you know the there is social media definitely has a has a place in promoting these ideologies and making them okay to talk about the commandant like you said is that there's no closet anymore.

[00:24:39] Social media took the knock down the closet. Yeah, so it's gone. So, you know, what what what the problem is. Is that social media gives them power. And it gives them it gives them power to replicate and become stronger in their own right so that [00:25:00] women ultimately are left with fewer and fewer and fewer masculine choices because all of the of the.

[00:25:09] Counter masculine etiologies have been deemed appropriate. Okay and have actually been promoted and what you end up with is especially in high population centers big cities where there's a lot of, you know art and culture and you know diversity you get these guys. I mean you go to New York City now,

[00:25:28] Carl Lanore: [00:25:28] it's all

[00:25:29] John Romano: [00:25:29] metros.

[00:25:30] You know,

[00:25:30] Carl Lanore: [00:25:30] I know I was just there. I know I know

[00:25:33] John Romano: [00:25:33] there's very few manly men walking around, New York. No, you're all good art galleries museums ballet and they got a sweater tied around their neck. They got you know, they're just not men, you know, and I was at dinner at a restaurant. The last time was there.

[00:25:50] I'm looking around and I'm going I feel like I'm on Christopher Street. What the hell happened

[00:25:56] Carl Lanore: [00:25:56] here, right Liam Liam creegan [00:26:00] says families are broken leads to feminism feminist feminized women. Women are masculinized by the culture and I think what he's speaking to is what we said earlier in the show that between the number of broken homes where there's you know, there's literally 10 million homes, according to 2015 statistics fatherless homes and combine that with the fact that there are fewer and fewer masculine men playing the role of man in a family that you end up with women who are more masculine.

[00:26:34] Then then feminine and you end up with boys that are more feminine than masculine,

[00:26:40] John Romano: [00:26:40] you know, the single parent household is a very tricky Paradigm. I got full custody of my son when he was 8 years old and I raised him myself up until he was. And I wouldn't you know my wife when Valerie and I got married.

[00:26:58] I guess he was about 12 [00:27:00] or 13 and she took over his mom, but there was a period there when it was just him and me and I was trying to balance, you know, Mom and Dad positions in the family and it's very difficult because as a man, I am not.  You know femininely inclined thank God I didn't have a girl because I don't know what the hell I would have.

[00:27:23] You know, so, you know met Max turned out to be a pretty decent well-adjusted kid who's got a great relationship now, he's 20 years old and he doesn't seem to have any, you know, you know male female, you know conflict issues and in his relationship with a woman, I think overall we did a pretty good job considering the fact that he was, you know abandoned by his mother so.

[00:27:47] Well, you know, there's a fine line you got to sure I did a lot of things wrong as a parent but I you know, we all do

[00:27:54] Carl Lanore: [00:27:54] nobody had nobody had nobody makes the manual yet on how to be a

[00:27:57] John Romano: [00:27:57] parent, you [00:28:00] know, I know so, you know, and I really feel for the guys who get who are put in a position where they're the sole parent of.

[00:28:12] A girl or two girls

[00:28:13] Carl Lanore: [00:28:13] my friend. My friend. Brian McNeil is posting right now. He says I always had sole custody of my oldest daughter from from for she is now 21 and killing it.

[00:28:22] John Romano: [00:28:22] There you go. I mean got, you know power to a man. He's a success story but there's an awful lot of families broken families in the Inner City where you know, the the mom is left to raise the Sun and she's got.

[00:28:39] Not only does she not equipped to do it. She's also got it work. She's got the kid in daycare. The kid is bounced around from you know, the grandma and the end the daycare her friends family and there's just no there's no solid identity with a strong male figure [00:29:00] to teach this boy how to be a man.

[00:29:03] And and he learns how to be a man off the street and nine times out of ten that's going to land them in prison.

[00:29:09] Carl Lanore: [00:29:09] Well, and he also learned what a woman is off the street. Well, you know the role of the mother and the in the boy's life the role of the mother is to portray what a woman is a boy learns the qualities of in a woman.

[00:29:28] That are considered valuable from his mother. So if he grows up in a household without a mother then he has to look to other women in his Circle in his life to supply that data but a boy learns to be a man from his father he the most valuable relationship for the boy is the father. And I know there's a lot of mothers out there to did wonderful [00:30:00] jobs raising boys, but you have to understand that you you a boy at an early age a boy wants to be just like his dad then around puberty.

[00:30:14] He starts to have changing feelings for his father and then he wants to differentiate himself from his dad in. We naively believe that we are so freaking different than our fathers were at our age when we're in our 20s. You know, we're like, oh we're just completely different and then all of a sudden you turn 50 and 60 and you're like, holy shit.

[00:30:37] I became my father know you've always been your father. He was exactly the way you were in your 20s and 30s and 40s if you had the opportunity to be a fly on the wall in his life you find out that. He dealt with the same problems you dealt with he responded similarly. He felt the same because you were imprinted you imprinted with with [00:31:00] code from watching him the way he dealt with the waitress when she made a mistake that he was he a jerk and blaster or did he go?

[00:31:07] I don't worry about it II liver once in a while. Anyway, I'll eat it. You know the way your father handle those kind of things it programs how you handle those things?

[00:31:17] John Romano: [00:31:17] Yes.

[00:31:18] Carl Lanore: [00:31:18] I

[00:31:19] John Romano: [00:31:19] catch myself doing it all the time. You know, I'm I'm a Oddity in this in the sense that my parents had a strong loving relationship until the day.

[00:31:29] My father died at 84 years old and and you know, I I identify even though my father and I could not be possibly more different in a lot of Senses. However, we could also not possibly be more of the same so and I catch myself. I would say daily doing something and finding myself my dad taught me this right my construction company and I was you know building something and figure it out something I said, I remember my dad [00:32:00] teaching me this I remember my dad teaching me how to use this tool or this method or how to measure how to whatever are you know, and I'm teaching my son how to change a tire and I'm telling you know, make sure you stay on your feet.

[00:32:10] So you can jump away from car falls off the Jack or you know, little things that my dad told me. Taught me and you know, not only practical, you know aspects of things that men do but also how he would encourage my mother not be raised her see and

[00:32:28] Carl Lanore: [00:32:28] that's why you have good relationships. We can't you know, we have to speak openly about this the fact that you saw your father actively love your mother through actions and deeds not just words is the reason that you have the relationships that you have.

[00:32:46] It throughout your life

[00:32:47] John Romano: [00:32:47] my wife to this today after 10 years. We've been together. My wife still says thank God you had your father to learn from

[00:32:53] Carl Lanore: [00:32:53] things at school and she's wise enough to see that she's wise enough to put value in that masculine male [00:33:00] relationship and why it's important. I want to I want to change the subject is slightly and then we're going to take a break after this because we're going long, but it looks like everybody's really liking it.

[00:33:08] So yesterday I was at Cabela's. Buying some stuff because I'm taking my son Chase hunting his first hunting experience Upstate New York where I hunted when I was 15 years older Schoharie County Middleburg

[00:33:24] John Romano: [00:33:24] Metal Gear broke a

[00:33:25] Carl Lanore: [00:33:25] yeah, just south of all just south of Albany.

[00:33:28] John Romano: [00:33:28] I used to live in Kingston.

[00:33:29] Carl Lanore: [00:33:29] Oh, yeah sure. I know where that is. Yeah, and and so I'm taking my son hunting for the first time and he and I have been going back and forth and he's buying stuff. So I went shopping yesterday by some new stuff that I need. And I saw a father with the young son and the fought that the sun was just he was elated to be with his dad at Cabela's you could tell he was excited.

[00:33:51] He must have been about eight years old. Maybe eight years old. And the father was not entertaining his excitement. And so the kid was [00:34:00] becoming even more like rambunctious Dad. Can we get this at that? And then and you can see the father was completely annoyed with the kid and then just walked past him and like ignored him and I thought to myself what makes a father.

[00:34:15] treat. A young son who hasn't been on the planet long enough to really learn any really bad behavior and piss anybody off what makes a father feel almost embarrassed of and so cold to his son and then it dawned on me. He sees in his son the things that he doesn't like about himself. That he's never made peace with right that he doesn't want to talk about that.

[00:34:43] He wants a hide from he sees it in his son. Yeah. What do you think

[00:34:49] John Romano: [00:34:49] a hundred percent? I agree with you. You know, I haven't been a single parent. I can tell you that these little munchkins can get on your nerves like [00:35:00] nothing else. So. It's not that you don't love them. It's just that everything else that swirls around you when life sucks some of it some of it out of you and then you got to deal with Dad Dad Dad then and then, you know, you can they drive you nuts, but you got to be able to hold pull that back and say look like you said look the kids ate.

[00:35:21] I mean, you know, I how they don't that hasn't been on Earth long enough to have. You know all maligned view of things and I got to entertain his excitement and his you know, his the newness of everything around him and not get pissed off or upset or depressed frustrated flustered whatever. So it takes a strong man to be able to do that.

[00:35:42] It also takes it also takes the entirety of the family unit to spread out that responsibility. For the mom to absorb some of it the but the father to absorb some of it that siblings if there are any to absorb some of [00:36:00] it. So this kid has got a more well-rounded balance of you know of people around him to tolerate, you know, what he's going to put the parent through when it's concentrated on one parent like that.

[00:36:13] Look I've been in that position and as bad as I feel about it, I can lament the fact that maybe you know, I should have been a little bit more understanding or less frustrated or whatever in that situation. But as you said I do look at that introspective lie and say yeah, I

[00:36:34] Carl Lanore: [00:36:34] don't like that about me,

[00:36:35] John Romano: [00:36:35] you know, so so yeah, I

[00:36:37] Carl Lanore: [00:36:37] mean,

[00:36:38] John Romano: [00:36:38] that's the point where you need to be able to.

[00:36:41] Break away from the the self-reflection and say I'm going to break the chain right here. And I'm going to I'm going to entertain my child. And yeah, and I'll be pissed off.

[00:36:53] Carl Lanore: [00:36:53] I think it's guys I think is good was that it's not easy. No, but I think I think [00:37:00] because we're talking about I think there is God there guys that probably May relate to that where they were with their son and he was acting up.

[00:37:09] And they just went a little too hard a little too far A little too fast instead of being a little more patient that. We'll hear this message and think you know, I was probably a that kind of a pain in the ass to I know I was my mother never. Let me she never let me not know it she was very skilled and oh, he's telling me you know, what a thick-headed pain in the ass.

[00:37:33] I was growing up but you know II I embraced it I may die because it may be guys need to be a little bit more willing to laugh at themselves that part of that hole. I'm a man. I'm masculine thought, you know, I used to have problems with the old bodybuilding magazines when these have some of those pictures where the guy was lifting and the other guy was yelling in his face and it's like, you know, it's like one of the things I [00:38:00] liked about David Henry and even J colors they were always smiling.

[00:38:05] They were new all the pictures. They took their always smiling. They weren't like Nam Thug. And you know, I kind of feel like guys get caught up in that thing that we again comes to expectations. Like you said, we can't be that way. We're men were masculine. We have to be tough, you know, you could turn it off you could you don't have to be a thug life every second of the day?

[00:38:25] John Romano: [00:38:25] Well, there's a place for I mean there is a place for it. I mean, I wouldn't go perhaps thug life, but. You know, there's a place for it and and what you have you have to be able to transition for again going back to that example, you know with the father and the son, you know, maybe 15 minutes later.

[00:38:44] We took him for ice cream and said, you know, you know, you know kind of diffuse the situation. That

[00:38:50] would

[00:38:51] John Romano: [00:38:51] be good shit in the animal kingdom all the time. You're the little lion is bugging the the father lion and eventually the following arise, you know, [00:39:00] whacks him and then the thing goes flying and then 10 minutes later.

[00:39:03] The Little Cub is laying on his head and he's sleeping,

[00:39:05] Carl Lanore: [00:39:05] right, you know, right?

[00:39:06] John Romano: [00:39:06] So so as long as you can come back to the loving nature of it in the nurturing aspect of it the little fly off at the handle becomes, Comment in become not commonplace, but it becomes absorbable and acceptable. If you maintain that negative aspect of it and don't come back to the nurturing loving aspect of it.

[00:39:27] That's when you start piling on the scar tissue,

[00:39:29] Carl Lanore: [00:39:29] but but but I would offer going back to the fact that we watch our fathers and we are programmed by their actions if the little boy is acting a certain way, maybe he's really excited and happy. And the father sees that as some sort of vulnerability.

[00:39:46] No, he doesn't even he just doesn't like it. He doesn't realize it's a vulnerability because he sees that in himself, but he doesn't want to acknowledge it what he's imprinting that child with is that kind of behavior is bad. It's [00:40:00] know that child, you know, see I subscribe to the vampire edict Once Bitten we buy.

[00:40:08] Yeah, you know if you are if you are a child of an alcoholic family you have certain attributes that are undeniable that you've learned because you've been bitten and you will then bite and it's important to understand and that kid is being bitten at that moment and someday he's going to be a father and he's going to have a son that's really excited about Christmas one day and he's just going to be treating them cold.

[00:40:30] And and and inappropriately and that child will then be bitten and that child will bite. So it's important to break that you know, and again, this is what I hope to be able to talk about these types of of Concepts in masculinity and being a man today so that people go, you know, yeah, maybe in today's society.

[00:40:55] I need to be able to shift a lot faster from Marlboro Man. You [00:41:00] know to missed your dad and and maybe we you know, just by discussing it. We're kind of making putting it out there and to the universe, you know, call

[00:41:10] John Romano: [00:41:10] what I want to understand and hopefully talk more about is what what is it that is attractive about the non masculine male.

[00:41:24] Carl Lanore: [00:41:24] Hiding I think I know what it is. I want to take a break and why don't we talk about that on the other side? Okay, that's how I actually have a strong opinion of this and this is from both, you know, living life and watching life at the same time. We're talking with John Romano today. He is the co-host of Open Season on men were going to try to do this twice a month to start out depending on the following it may spin off into its own show that The Hope but we appreciate you sitting here and listening today and watching.

[00:41:50] And if you have any questions your comments, you can put them up on Facebook and they'll be part of today's live show stay tuned.

[00:42:02] [00:42:00] We'll be right back.  I got a thought opening my Mike. Welcome back. You think I just did taste today's my first day on the job. You gotta cut me a little slack. Anyway, so you're talking about why these women. Find these particular traitors is qualities and men today, which is the lack of masculinity.

[00:42:25] Right?

[00:42:27] John Romano: [00:42:27] Well, it's the attractiveness of it, you know, we covered a bit of it in the beginning of the show because I think your reasoning was that these men are more easy to control more easily controlled and

[00:42:45] Carl Lanore: [00:42:45] and ultimately that's the contract between men and. Women don't have the strength to lift.

[00:42:50] The Box women will find the partner to do the lifting for her

[00:42:54] John Romano: [00:42:54] except except the Box better not be too heavy because the whoever they're looking for can't

[00:42:59] Carl Lanore: [00:42:59] lift. [00:43:00] Well the the so Society has changed right? You don't have to lift boxes anymore right now. You just have to work on the internet

[00:43:07] John Romano: [00:43:07] well or your use the forklift right, but but but it's there, but there used to be.

[00:43:14] And in fact, there's a recent study. I read on this not long ago where they they projected image of a man from the waist up. Shirtless and they had, you know from the dad bod to the to the bodybuilder Bond, I guess five or six iterations in between and the women in Autumn and if they follow their eyes with some kind of you know camera and and they had him hooked up two electrodes and universally across the line the women.

[00:43:46] Were attracted to the to the masculine guide of the body builder asked physique big chest big arms big shoulders and they were able to surmise through this that the [00:44:00] instinctual excuse me the instinctual attraction to this physique. Was because they were the impression was that this is a strong man.

[00:44:09] He's going to be a strong Hunter a strong protector a strong provider and crew create a veil of safety for me and and The Offspring so so

[00:44:20] Carl Lanore: [00:44:20] that is that is etched in our yeah, and it

[00:44:24] John Romano: [00:44:24] is that the masculine man is what is attractive. But now these women and okay now women are different today because as you mentioned before they're in the workforce, they're striving for equality.

[00:44:36] They they are, you know on par with men in a lot of respects and there's some kind of, you know equilibrium being sought between the sexes in that respect. But what you cannot change what's etched in the DNA, right? So.

[00:44:51] Carl Lanore: [00:44:51] So during the concert in a conscious choice being made here and to go back to one of the interviews I did with dr.

[00:44:57] Daniel Lieberman. The author of The [00:45:00] Amazing book The Story of the human body. And if you haven't read a John you really have to

[00:45:04] John Romano: [00:45:04] all right.

[00:45:04] Carl Lanore: [00:45:04] It is the it's the greatest book on on.  Anthropology and evolution that you will ever read especially in today's climate of illness and everything else. And so.

[00:45:16] One of the things he said in an interview one time, which really struck me is that.  culture drives Evolution culture not necessity culture and entry women are most driven by culture. Number one number one and women Drive Evolution because men pursue but women choose women choose a man partially because of the things that they like and partially because.

[00:45:45] Of subliminal drivers that are evolutionarily there. They say a woman can tell from a kiss that the DNA that she needs to make up for the bad [00:46:00] DNA. She has in her Offspring. It's that sophisticated. We don't think about this but it's true and so women are choosing the weaker guy. Because culturally it's the it's the wave now, that's really it.

[00:46:20] That's all is yeah culturally driving this

[00:46:24] John Romano: [00:46:24] but it's also being fed to them. You know, it's out go back to the dating commercial. Go back to Tyler. They're they're exploiting Tyler. Not the Marlboro Man. They're feeding them Tyler. Yes. So, you know Tyler, you know with this man bun and is glitter and his and his sweater around his neck and his cat are are what it's like in a bodybuilding show.

[00:46:48] They're going to judge what you give them. You can only judge. What's up on?

[00:46:50] Carl Lanore: [00:46:50] Yes.

[00:46:51] John Romano: [00:46:51] Yes. Okay. You can't judge what didn't show up, right so. This is what they're being fed. They're being fed that this is your [00:47:00] male Orca

[00:47:00] Carl Lanore: [00:47:00] tell but that fit but that goes hand in hand hand in hand with the anti-meat pro vegan.

[00:47:07] Agenda, you know, the the global warming agenda that you know, like when you look at what's being fed to us today?

[00:47:19] And some of it may be good and some of it may be bad, but the bottom line is the most the most powerful underlying driver we have that is actually driving culture is mass media and mass media has. People that work as editors and editors who have certain biases choose certain stories because they literally want to see these things proliferate.

[00:47:52] So you can look to mass media. For popularizing because the vegan diets not healthier. There are [00:48:00] studies that come out every single month that show that the vegan diet leads to Greater mental illness greater depression greater anxiety lack of menstruation and women lack of spermatogenesis in men like all these things that if it was a drug the FDA would go you can't take that drug, but

[00:48:19] John Romano: [00:48:19] just look through them,

[00:48:20] Carl Lanore: [00:48:20] right?

[00:48:21] But now you've got you but you even have I have to say it. I'm sorry Arnold is such a she'll but I know he's a shell he's an actor. He's a politician he cheated on his wife, you know, he's not he's not a decent person. But unfortunately, he's in a position where he commands a lot of attention and you know, he's promoting the vegan diet because it's popular because he wants to be relevant to today sure.

[00:48:44] That's it.

[00:48:45] John Romano: [00:48:45] But you know, there's. This this is what creates fertile ground for conspiracy theories. For example, you know wide wide is mass media promoting the week male. Well, if you if the government wants [00:49:00] to take over the people, what do they want that they want a bunch of Macho rednecks with a closet full of AR-15s order.

[00:49:06] They want, you know gunless man bun where and sweater around their neck cat lovers

[00:49:11] Carl Lanore: [00:49:11] testicle. Listen up.

[00:49:13] John Romano: [00:49:13] Who can't bench press 75 pounds? That's what they want because they can be swept under the rug in one Fell Swoop. So, you know, there's that may be the case that may not be the case, but it certainly is an immune from public discourse.

[00:49:28] Right? And what and that's what fuels the war. So it's really unfortunate that we live in a society today that is dismantling for whatever reason is dismantling the masculinity out of the man. By referring to it as toxic.

[00:49:49] Carl Lanore: [00:49:49] Yeah, something bad. Yeah. Yeah something bad and and

[00:49:53] John Romano: [00:49:53] that is part of the problem because it's not something bad.

[00:49:56] It's something necessary and if we're going to raise [00:50:00] our men our boys to turn into men to be complete wimps. What are we going to end up with as a society? Well,

[00:50:07] Carl Lanore: [00:50:07] we're going to be a set. We're going to be a sub sub nation of China is what's going on. Yeah. Well Liam Liam makes an interesting point here.

[00:50:15] Women on the pill will seek more feminine men interesting know, you know, you know, so I'm here to

[00:50:22] John Romano: [00:50:22] work that

[00:50:22] Carl Lanore: [00:50:22] I've been doing some deep diving on iron accumulation and women start to accumulate iron. Once they go through menopause and they catch up to men and a lot of the iron-driven maladies. And so I was talking around pain of the other day and he said so it makes perfect sense that women on the pill who menstruate less.

[00:50:44] Then women not on the pill should have more iron and they do so so men are here up here women who menstruated down here and women on the pillow right in the middle because they hit by a bio accumulate more. So the pill does have [00:51:00] effects is no doubt about it. I think that's an interesting concept.

[00:51:03] John Romano: [00:51:03] Well any time you mess with the hormones you have issues. I mean women on testosterone are. In my experience anyway are attracted to more masculine men, right? So I think I think Liam's case is definitely made on either end of that analysis. If you're going to look at you know, what they're the problem is nobody's going to do these studies in any great degree because it's going to counteract The Narrative.

[00:51:31] Carl Lanore: [00:51:31] Yes.

[00:51:33] John Romano: [00:51:33] And the narrative today is we they want weak men. It's obvious. It's obvious from every source of left-wing media and across the globe all of mainstream media are promoting the week mail, and any semblance of masculinity is looked down upon is scrutinized is is castigated and turned into something negative.

[00:52:00] [00:52:00] And that completely confounds then the the the issue of raising boys to be good men because you have to be to some degree a masculine male to survive and to promote manly aspects of life for for a boy

[00:52:22] Carl Lanore: [00:52:22] which are not innately bad and that's the other which are knock. My neatly bad

[00:52:27] John Romano: [00:52:27] not enable events.

[00:52:29] And these relegate to the general treatment of women like I was smart. My father was a very manly man, you know, very educated a very manly man who taught me how to be a man

[00:52:42] Carl Lanore: [00:52:42] by

[00:52:42] John Romano: [00:52:42] not berating My Mother by not condemning My Mother by not discouraging My Mother by doing things that lifted her up not pushed her down and now that may seem on the surface.

[00:52:54] Well, that's not very manly. Well actually it is because. If you can go out and you [00:53:00] know cut firewood all day and kill a deer and drag it home and got it and skin it and chop it up and then, you know, encourage your woman to be, you know nurture your woman and whatever she's you know, trying to do and keep her a lift it up.

[00:53:15] That's a that's a balancing act that counteracts both sides of the extreme.

[00:53:20] Carl Lanore: [00:53:20] Well and your your your social value as a mate goes through the roof. Because I really believe that some women don't want strong men because they're literally afraid of them. They're afraid that like, wow, this guy could like he could push me around is Eliza has a friend who once said to her.

[00:53:39] I could never date Carl. He's too big and strong

[00:53:43] John Romano: [00:53:43] II,

[00:53:44] Carl Lanore: [00:53:44] you know, I'm lucky guys like us are lucky that we have women who like men right, you know and not you know, The other the new man, but you know, it's really interesting because I think there's a lot of women out there who just feel like they [00:54:00] want a guy that they can control they want to wear the pants.

[00:54:03] I know a young girl who told me that she was dating a guy and she was so proud that she made more money than him because now she wears the pants.

[00:54:12] John Romano: [00:54:12] Well, you know, they're those Dynamics are interchangeable. I mean right now, you know, my wife's an attorney. She just made partner or a law firm and this year she's going to make a lot more money than me and it doesn't change the dynamic.

[00:54:25] I mean, I'm still the man. She stole the woman we still have our you know, we had tremendous degree of equality. But at the same time. You know, I open the car door for her every time know whether I should make more money than me or not. You know, I encouraged her and lift her up whether she makes more money than me or not.

[00:54:43] I don't think that that Dynamic really has any value in the grand scheme of things in the sense that that there is a there are I think there's both sides with there's definitely women who are looking for the weak man, because they're easier to push around because life. Puts them in that [00:55:00] position, but there's also and I don't want to leave these women out at all because my wife is one of them yours is one of them that these women seek strong men because they want an equal then there's two women strong women want strong men right all strong women want a weak man.

[00:55:17] It's usually a weak woman who wants a weak

[00:55:20] Carl Lanore: [00:55:20] man, because she wants someone week that because she feels weak. She wants someone else that she feels stronger that. And like

[00:55:27] John Romano: [00:55:27] I said, you're too big and strong for some women because they're weak, you know, and then that puts them in a very vulnerable situation when it when it comes to, you know, a lot of interactions.

[00:55:38] So the the fact that fathers are responsible for teaching their boys how to be men is a tremendous responsibility. Because it Fosters the next generation of men and how they're going to treat women and that's important [00:56:00] because we need women to be women. Right don't need women to be men. We don't need women to be to go toe-to-toe with us and fight us on every issue.

[00:56:09] Yeah,

[00:56:09] Carl Lanore: [00:56:09] John's not a competition. Yeah. It's a it's a cooperation. It's not a competition.

[00:56:15] John Romano: [00:56:15] There was a great little video on fit on my Facebook feed this morning was a really attractive girl who is given a message to the women out there and says, you know, you know if you have a man. You better make sure that you get at your ass out of bed in the morning and make him breakfast make his lunch when he comes home.

[00:56:35] You have a hot dinner ready, especially if you're not working you make sure the house is clean when he gets home. You make sure that you take him out of the bedroom and you know gives show him a good time in a

[00:56:45] Carl Lanore: [00:56:45] pre all you must show him you love him.

[00:56:48] John Romano: [00:56:48] So him that you love him in. And that and that you enjoy him loving you back, right and there is no worse.

[00:56:56] You know Hugh Hefner once said the greatest. The [00:57:00] greatest tragedy a male can suffer is unrequited love. So when you are a man who have who venture out onto the limb of vulnerability and express your love and devotion or love and admiration for a woman and you're chopped off at the knees. That's like the worst thing you can do to a guy so you have to be aware of the fact that men have certain needs and if you satisfy, Those needs of a man.

[00:57:30] You're gonna be you're gonna get it back in

[00:57:32] Carl Lanore: [00:57:32] Spain. Oh, no, you know what? I love to say. If you have a woman first of all women men are simple make make love to us and make us feel like we are the only man to you

[00:57:45] John Romano: [00:57:45] the shit.

[00:57:46] Carl Lanore: [00:57:46] Yeah, that's all you need to do and we will take a friggin bullet for you.

[00:57:50] Yeah, that's the truth. That's it that many easy for many.

[00:57:55] John Romano: [00:57:55] Men are easy, you know, but when it's so easy to take [00:58:00] that tenant of relationship and bastardize

[00:58:03] Carl Lanore: [00:58:03] it. Yes, they make it dirty. Oh you can you just want sex from me and you just know I want you to make me feel like I'm the most important man in the world to you and the way you do that is to give yourself to me.

[00:58:18] and because if ever I have a friend.  Who said to me? Every time my wife does this this this and this to me I fall in love all over again and they've been together like 40 years now guys a simple women make us they over complicate everything they really

[00:58:37] John Romano: [00:58:37] do but men enjoy being a man. Show so that I don't get myself included and I don't know any guy who doesn't like being the man being the protector of the provider opening the door for a woman but making sure she's safe up lifting her and not berating her that those are enjoyable [00:59:00] aspects of the relationship to a guy and so you when you add the sex to it that that that while you're just doing it because you want to get laid.

[00:59:07] No, I'm doing that because that's what I like. That's what a man does. And part of what a woman does is is makes the guy

[00:59:16] Carl Lanore: [00:59:16] feel like a man. We'll

[00:59:17] John Romano: [00:59:17] get appreciate it and feel like a man for doing what a man is supposed to do.

[00:59:23] Carl Lanore: [00:59:23] Yeah. So interesting lie, I had Brian McNeil's post up there that his wife is a strong woman.

[00:59:30] It just came down. Hold on a second. But she chose him because the fact she knows that if everything fell apart he would do anything to care for provide and protect her and their family and that's exactly what the contract is between men and women and it's no and so we're not offended that you expect us to move Heaven and Earth to to give you the things that mean love to you.

[00:59:56] Why are women so offended when a guy says but I just need a lot [01:00:00] of sex from you. Oh now you're just you've reduced the relationship to you know mean it no X love that's how you show love you. Now you show love to a man you make love to him. He can buy his own goodness.

[01:00:15] John Romano: [01:00:15] What is the woman get for that?

[01:00:17] They that this is the I think this is one of the biggest misconceptions of sex. For women is that when a man has sex with the woman he's giving her his essence of being a man. That's his that's that's everything to him. Okay. His Essence is for her in that respect, right? Okay, so. You know loving relationship.

[01:00:41] I mean if you guys going to go out and bang a hooker that's completely different. But I mean in the context of a loving relationship where he is, in fact making love and not having sex then that that is his he is giving her his Essence as a as a man as his as her partner as her [01:01:00] equal as her.

[01:01:03] Boyfriend significant other whatever. Okay, so so when that deal is consummated, it's never one sided but you got to look at it. You got to look at it from the pragmatic stances as you just mentioned it is it is the it's not a payoff. It's the culmination of of what is involved in the interaction the deal between what the man provides and what the woman provide

[01:01:31] Carl Lanore: [01:01:31] right?

[01:01:32] John Romano: [01:01:32] And when the two go together without the conflict of society saying sex is bad then everything works fine. Yeah.

[01:01:41] Carl Lanore: [01:01:41] Now you're absolutely right. I want to take a last commercial break and when we come back I want to talk about another lesson that fathers teach sons and it's really the last lesson that they teach them and that is in the dying of the father.

[01:01:56] Yeah, so stay tuned. We'll be right back with more. Of [01:02:00] Open Season on men welcome back to open season on men.  Drake song isn't it? I had a bite. I had bought the karaoke karaoke track, so I didn't have to pay royalties on it.

[01:02:14] John Romano: [01:02:14] That is so how do you get away with all the karaoke?

[01:02:16] Carl Lanore: [01:02:16] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So so I have access to royalty free music and I could have bought another rendition of this but this was even this is like 99 Cents and and you know, everybody knows it's American woman.

[01:02:26] That's all we.

[01:02:28] John Romano: [01:02:28] I I need I need a Pink Floyd's money for another podcast on doing.

[01:02:33] Carl Lanore: [01:02:33] Yeah, so if by the karaoke track, that's all

[01:02:36] John Romano: [01:02:36] that's that and even know you could do

[01:02:37] Carl Lanore: [01:02:37] that. Yeah, so there's a couple of websites out there where you can buy royalty free music to that is if you want something that sounds closely to the original, you know, there are cover bands that will play it and then you'll pay $49 for one time and you can use it all you

[01:02:49] John Romano: [01:02:49] want but what's good to know

[01:02:50] Carl Lanore: [01:02:50] that might be that might actually be better so.

[01:02:55] The let the lesson I learned from my dad the last lesson I learned from my dad call. Mine [01:03:00] was upon his death. I told the story on Dave Palumbo show once and he he actually had a very similar experience and I thought well, maybe this is worthwhile talking, you know for guys out there as well. So I brought my father home from the nursing home so that he could be home.

[01:03:18] We knew he was dying and I you know, I had the common sense. Um around 2002. I started saying to my father because I knew he was starting to get like he was starting to get old. He had he didn't take good care of himself. He stayed up all night long.  You know when I was a kid, my father was at the diner, I would come home from a disco at four o'clock in the morning.

[01:03:43] I go to The Blue Fountain Diner on Crosby Boulevard, my father be sitting with a bunch of guys at the at the counter. My father was always out. He was he was a he was a he's a Knockaround guy. And so. When he was getting ill I started to tell him all the time how [01:04:00] how proud I was to be his son and you know how great of a fun idea and I would say to him dad.

[01:04:05] You know, what a great father you are and he shakes his head no and he was being sincere and I you know, I grew up in Bed-Stuy I grew up in a really really really really really really bad neighborhood. I grew up right around the corner from the Marcy Projects, and I didn't fear any I look back now.

[01:04:23] And think why was it I'm more afraid and then I realized oh my God, everybody was afraid of my father like nobody. Nobody wanted my father showing up on their doorstep. This is this is true. I'm not I'm not embellishing and so you know, and so I told him I said, you know, I feel so fortunate that you were my father and he I think he had a hard time buying it because he didn't feel good about himself.

[01:04:49] So that's that was his thing but. What I took him home from the nursing home and I had him in that hospital bed. And I looked I remember standing at the foot of the bed looking at him and he was all gaunt [01:05:00] his eyes were kind of like sunken and he was I was sleeping in the room right outside his door and this one night.

[01:05:09] I heard the sound that sounded like somebody took a tupperware bowl and was clacking it on the the formica table and then I learned a couple weeks later that's called the death rattle. That did there there are ways start to cave in everything starts to cave in every breath makes this noise. It's Mommy sounds like Tupperware really does and so.

[01:05:33] I standing at the foot of his bed the next morning After experiencing this sound and I got up several times and I went to his room and I heard it coming out of him, but I know I didn't know what to make of it. And I looked at him and he was all gaunt and he was he was clearly failing. And I remember looking at his face and going.

[01:05:50] Oh shit, like he I look exactly like him like right now. I look exactly like him and in that bed. I thought [01:06:00] oh, wait a minute that's going to be me.  Like I had never really given any solid thought to my own mortality.  until that. That I realized that I was as ill prepared to die as my father was who was holding on with everything that he had to what little bit of life he had in him and the next few years.

[01:06:26] I was I went into a real depression. It's when I realized that I'm going to die. I know it's like everybody says, oh, you know death and taxes we say this stuff cavalierly, but we really don't think about oh shit someday. It's going to happen swiftly and there's nothing I can do about it. It's going to happen and I can't go.

[01:06:45] Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I'm not ready now. No, you just go that's it. And it was it was it was very sobering for me and it changed me and it changed me. What about you? What about you? Well, you

[01:06:57] John Romano: [01:06:57] know, I think about it a lot tomorrow. I turned [01:07:00] 59.

[01:07:00] Carl Lanore: [01:07:00] Oh happy birthday,

[01:07:01] John Romano: [01:07:01] and thank you and.  I look at it a lot.

[01:07:07] Now that because I have obviously way fewer days ahead of me than I have behind me and the lifestyle that I live. I am probably not going to die across a crotchety old man in a wheelchair. I'm probably going to off myself some other way with a little bit more Fanfare, but either way when I watched my father die.

[01:07:34] I was sort of. Put more at ease because he died from from COPD. His brain was gradually more and more robbed of oxygen to he was just pretty goofy by the time by the time he went and I looked at that and he was a psychiatrist a very, you know, published psychiatrist of but he had a very [01:08:00] high academic, you know career and very very very intelligent man.

[01:08:05] And to watch him deteriorate, you know mentally to the point where he was just out of it and it almost gave me some solace in that. Yeah, you know if this is Nature's Way that I'm going to be, you know, you know like on goofballs when I go out. I'm not even gonna know what's happening. So, you know, M2 gradual Fade to Black.

[01:08:24] So I mean if that's the way it happens, I mean I can tolerate that if I end up falling off a building. I'm I'm probably not going to like that too much, but it'll certainly be. More Swift it either way what I learned from him at that point is when he. When I would visit him and he would he would go in and out of you know, Lucid moments.

[01:08:45] He was still smart as hell and he would say things to me like he knew what where he was going. He knew what the point in his life. He was at and he would say things make sure your mother has this and this going, you know set up [01:09:00] in my absence. Please do this for me and you know, just kind of like passing the torch right to the to his firstborn son.

[01:09:09] And that you know and that I would I would hopefully be able to give him some peace of mind and that when he would Fade Out that you know, his wishes would be, you know carried out. Right and I and I that I was stuck with me as a very pragmatic way of looking at the end rather than you know being afraid of it and he faced it head-on.

[01:09:33] I knew what was happening and did what he had to do to tie up his loose ends and you know past with with dignity and I you know, I hope I do that, you know, but I think of dying now all the time and it's

[01:09:49] Carl Lanore: [01:09:49] and

[01:09:50] John Romano: [01:09:50] we talked about it a little bit before the show and you said to me something that's just I've been processing, you know for the last couple of hours is that yeah.

[01:09:57] That's a good thing not a bad thing [01:10:00] because. If you're well aware of it you tend to make I think you tend to make better decisions because you don't want to leave a mess, you know

[01:10:09] Carl Lanore: [01:10:09] and my band but more than just that you're selective about. What you Endeavor. Yeah. Yeah, when you're when you're young and you're full of piss and vinegar.

[01:10:23] You will take on challenge. You'll something will happen and. You'll accept the brunt of it. That's okay because I'll recover I'll deal with this and I'm move on and you'll do that throughout your life and then all of a sudden you get to that point where you go, I got to be more selective about what I do my time because I don't I don't have all these days in front of me anymore.

[01:10:47] I don't have the candle is getting short and what I ended up doing, so. I didn't sleep well for about a year and a half after that almost too because I lost my mother my father [01:11:00] first and then my mother and my sister in a three-year period

[01:11:03] John Romano: [01:11:03] wow,

[01:11:04] Carl Lanore: [01:11:04] yeah and where we were just a family of four, so, it's me tag.

[01:11:07] I'm next. You know, that was so that was the first that was the first like realization. Oh man. I'm the next one. It's like down to me now. Yeah, the other realization was that I didn't have any. Body who shared any of my early childhood memories like when our dog knocked the Christmas tree down that year, you know nobody to talk to about those things anymore.

[01:11:29] But I really like it struck me as like, oh God like I hope that my death isn't me clinging to life? Like I hope that I'm ready to go when I go and then I started thinking about that and I decided.  G Gordon Liddy. I was afraid of rats and he knew that being in the Secret Service. That was a that was a dangerous thing for someone to know about him.

[01:11:57] Sure. So what he [01:12:00] did was he bought some white rats at a pet shop. And he took them home and he killed them and he ate them and he talked about the drive home with them in the box and scampering around and he barely could keep his eyes on the road because he was sweating. He was so nervous and then taking it took him hours to kill the first one and then he had a skin it and then and prepare it and put it in the frying pan and cook it and then he had to eat it and was like, he didn't eat it until the next day and he talked about how laborious it was, but after he killed it an eight.

[01:12:37] The first one he didn't even have to kill the other ones and eat them. He was like, oh man, I just killed and ate a rat like I just killed it and ate my biggest fear. Okay, I'm done. Right? So I took that approach with death. I started to like lay in bed and imagine.  What if it was now? What if I felt a pain in my chest?

[01:12:57] I had maybe a minute or two [01:13:00] of Lucidity and then I was gone like and I started to actually.

[01:13:08] Wallow in those thoughts. And when I first started doing it made me very sad and very anxious. But the more often I did it. I became less and length less anxious to where I would actually think she would if it was now I was driving the car. Yeah, I'm fine. I could go now and I got really comfortable with the idea of my own death and when that happened not only did the sleepless.

[01:13:33] Issues that I would wake in the middle of the night like thinking of my sister and thinking of my father and thinking of my mother go away, but I started to look at my own life differently. Like who did I really wanted? I've literally like made my circle really small in the

[01:13:50] John Romano: [01:13:50] past few years. Yeah.

[01:13:52] Yeah.

[01:13:53] Carl Lanore: [01:13:53] Yeah, like I just don't and I there are people in my family that I've had to break away from where I just am [01:14:00] not going to. Waste any time anymore? I don't have any to I feel like and I said on Tom bill you show when I talked about this phenomenon I said.  You can't truly live until you embrace your own death.

[01:14:15] And the analogy I gave was you and I were in New York.  We're probably the only two people in this audience beside Joe chrystia Cristiano, who knows what goofballs? That's what we call them right Quaaludes and stuff too. And all said when we were kids they were goofballs. We're in New York and we're gonna drive to California and and the whole time we're driving were going from state to state to state.

[01:14:39] But every time you try to bring up what you want to do in California. I shut you down now. I don't want to talk about California and I want to talk about but inevitably we're going to be there should no I don't want to talk about it. I don't that's how we treat our. It's going to happen. It's the only thing I can guarantee in your life that will happen.

[01:14:57] But let's not talk about

[01:14:59] John Romano: [01:14:59] it.  [01:15:00] You know, you know, it's I don't really think of it much from my perspective when I think about dying I think about how my son how you know, he's. Devastated he's going to be my daughter my wife my mom, you know, the people I'm leaving behind how they're going to feel and how what their sadness is going to bring about what they're going to say about me and you know, those kinds of things as far as life goes.

[01:15:31] I've lived five lifetimes so far, you know, I mean I am I have no complaints. I've done more than I have ever wanted to do. So let me like you said I mean, my my circle is intentionally very very small now because I don't need the stimulation. You know, I have I'm a very insular private secluded alone type person and and that that's the way I thrive [01:16:00] right?

[01:16:00] And and if I go today, I'm okay with it, you know, I really am and then walking to the gym today I could get hit by a truck and that's it. I'm done. But it's it's my thoughts about it laying in bed wondering about it. Sometimes I have a bad dream about it always about my wife my son my daughter my mom.

[01:16:21] It's never ever about me being afraid of meeting the Grim Reaper. It's just never that Affairs are in order. My life is full my all of that stuff has been done. But it's it's the thought of that and of course, you know, like you said, I don't want to talk about, California. But we're going to get there.

[01:16:41] It's going to happen. Yeah,

[01:16:42] Carl Lanore: [01:16:42] you know feel like should we talk about it? Just like

[01:16:44] John Romano: [01:16:44] some point I think as you get to Arizona, you might want to talk about it, you know,

[01:16:50] Carl Lanore: [01:16:50] and we're an hour and you and I are in Arizona right now exactly, right? Right. I'm 61. You're good. You're going to be 59. So we're technically going across the eastern border of [01:17:00] Arizona.

[01:17:00] Now

[01:17:00] John Romano: [01:17:00] ignite. We're right there

[01:17:01] Carl Lanore: [01:17:01] where we just left, Texas. So yeah. No, I agree with you and I could maybe that's the time but I think that that Sons learn about death from their fathers,

[01:17:13] John Romano: [01:17:13] but then that was my point. I was trying back what I've learned from my father like that. Is that there's there's no number of days that you're going to get.

[01:17:24] There's there aren't that it's whatever it ends up being it's what you do with the days leading up to that that count and it's going to be more for the people you leave behind then for you because it's you want to give them the best of you the most of you whatever you can give of you that's going to enhance improve benefits.

[01:17:48] You know make their lives Fuller and you know create your life well lived and that's all that you can hope for at the end of the road is that you lived you took that gift. You [01:18:00] were given and exploited it to the nth degree and you got as much out of it as you could possibly have gotten it didn't waste a single minute and if you can get to that point at the end of the road and say that's what I did.

[01:18:12] Then you can go in peace. But the last thing that I want to do is reach that border of Arizona with regret and so far thank God. I don't have any because that would be a terrible thing. And when you're at the end of the road is really hard to do it.

[01:18:27] Carl Lanore: [01:18:27] Yeah, but if yeah, if you have regret let it go.

[01:18:30] Let's find a way to let it go. Yeah because you it's going to visit it's going to visit you on that. And you know we talk

[01:18:38] John Romano: [01:18:38] about you know being at the border of Arizona it look it barring any accidents illness or whatever in term terms of regular life expectancy. We got another good 20 25 years ahead of ya long time, especially if it was a prison sentence.

[01:18:56] So, you know, you got to if there's a long time left is still [01:19:00] pretty young, but we still think about it because. There are fewer days ahead than there are behind and that's just what you naturally do. But yes, I agree with you a hundred percent leave the regret at the door and live like my father taught me.

[01:19:16] Like, I'm sure your father taught you live every day. Like, it's your last one. It's it

[01:19:22] Carl Lanore: [01:19:22] doesn't matter how a when you die it matters. How you. Right the most important thing and thank God for the show because I feel like part of the reason I feel comfortable dying is I feel like I've given so much already if you know for the past 14 years on this show.

[01:19:37] I feel like I've left a legacy. In fact, I forgot to say this at the top of every show. I normally say.  Today is October 28th, 2019. For those of you listening to the show a hundred years from now because we were so far ahead of everybody else and I forgot to say it. So I'm saying it now. But you know, I really I really do I really feel like you know, if I died [01:20:00] tomorrow II have a good body of I mean, I'm not Mother Teresa, but I did I did some good and I left the behind and that's it.

[01:20:08] John Romano: [01:20:08] Yeah, you did and after you're gone people will watch these shows and you'll live on yeah,

[01:20:13] Carl Lanore: [01:20:13] and that's the important thing you I really do believe that. Um, I'm not a spiritual person. I'm definitely not religious because I was raised Catholic that that ruined it for me the whole idea that I was born broken with original sin.

[01:20:27] Just never well then. Come on. Are you kidding me do

[01:20:30] John Romano: [01:20:30] anything what happened?

[01:20:31] Carl Lanore: [01:20:31] I just showed up and I'm broken already

[01:20:34] John Romano: [01:20:34] doing

[01:20:37] Carl Lanore: [01:20:37] so but no, but I kind of feel like I'm not very spiritual but I do believe that the longer people remember. Your name and who you are that if there is any energy circulation, maybe you get to stay away longer and not have to play this game again,

[01:20:56] John Romano: [01:20:56] you know.

[01:20:57] Yeah, maybe

[01:20:58] Carl Lanore: [01:20:58] you got anything else [01:21:00] you want to wrap it up with. I think we've covered a lot of good stuff. I

[01:21:03] John Romano: [01:21:03] think we have and I hope and I'm looking forward to doing more of these is a great topic and you know, I want to be I want to be an advocate for me. And we and I know you do too and we need them because men mailmen masculine male men are under attack right now and somebody's got to advocate for us because if not, we're going to be a nation of pussies.

[01:21:30] And neither one of us are going to be able to stand.

[01:21:32] Carl Lanore: [01:21:32] Did you ever see the movie Tom Horn with Steve McQueen? I

[01:21:38] John Romano: [01:21:38] have not. Unfortunately

[01:21:39] Carl Lanore: [01:21:39] though. Tom Horn was a buffalo Hunter and Indian fighter at the turn of the century.

[01:21:47] John Romano: [01:21:47] Okay, and then this

[01:21:48] Carl Lanore: [01:21:48] is true story Bat Masterson was

[01:21:50] John Romano: [01:21:50] oh yeah.

[01:21:51] Carl Lanore: [01:21:51] Okay. Yeah, so Bat Masterson was a Lawman and he I forget what city it was in but you know, the the Indians were [01:22:00] pretty much on their reservations at this point in time and and there wasn't a lot of Indian fighting going on but.

[01:22:06] There was still some bad guys out there and so Bat Masterson and the mayor of the city go to Tom Horn because they know this guy he can he can hit you from a mile away. They're like we need to get rid of these bad guys. We gotta get rid of these bad guys, and they so they hire him meet me, you know, he's been living on a ranch minding his own business hunting Buffalo is no Indian to fight the guy is like easing into life.

[01:22:33] And they call him out for this one last time. Look you help us you help help the town. So he agrees to do it and he kills these guys. I think it was three or four guys who kills and it's very intriguing story. And then at the end they realize they gotta kill him now because he's he's the last threat left like he they used him to kill these guys, but they realize that if he got pissed off at them, [01:23:00] they'd be gone like poof.

[01:23:02] And so they realized like now we got a so they and then the movie they assassinate him. It's a true story. Well, and and and that's what they're trying to do to manly men today. They do we would we serve the purpose will fight the wars but we're becoming a inconvenience now and so they want to D masculine on us d masculinize.

[01:23:27] And we have to be aware of this it's it is a concerted effort. This isn't a dream. This isn't the yes. This is legit

[01:23:34] John Romano: [01:23:34] it is it is and you're not and you met yet. That's a great analogy that point because look you guys I know hate cops. Okay, they hate military men and but their life is in Peril. Who do you think they're going to call?

[01:23:50] Not going to call a fucking plumber, right? They're going to call a cop, you know, and how ironic is it for them that the gun that when they when the chips are down and they need help. They got a call the person they [01:24:00] hate sand. It's the person they hate that's going to save their ass.

[01:24:03] Carl Lanore: [01:24:03] I know I've always said like places like New York the cops should just all call in sick a couple days.

[01:24:09] John Romano: [01:24:09] Yeah, since you would have

[01:24:10] Carl Lanore: [01:24:10] and watch how quickly everybody de Blasio and all them are like, oh guys. Yeah because they would be Mayhem in the streets. 

[01:24:18] John Romano: [01:24:18] That's right. Absolute mayor, and you you you're going to you're going to wish for a cop you're going to wish for a military guy. You're going to wish for some manly man show up and step up and do what's got to be done to cure and the wimp with the fucking cat and the sweater tied around his neck and a man bun is not going to do it.

[01:24:40] Carl Lanore: [01:24:40] Nah.  He'll negotiate it. He'll offer to make quiche. He'll

[01:24:45] John Romano: [01:24:45] cry.

[01:24:46] Carl Lanore: [01:24:46] I'll make speech for

[01:24:47] John Romano: [01:24:47] everybody. Yeah, we're making sure my keys.

[01:24:49] Carl Lanore: [01:24:49] Hi, John. This has been good. If you if you want us to cover a specific topic that you think is relevant to the plight of being a man in today's society send it to on are at superhuman radio dotnet [01:25:00] and we will add it to the topics and we're probably going to do a bunch of different really good shows in the next couple months and hope and also.

[01:25:09] do me a solid pass this show around. A new study came out that shows that podcast listenership is predominated by men greater than 60% of all podcasts audiences are men. Wow, and so this is a good show for you to pass around pass it around and that way we can even build better content more listenership great better topics and so on.

[01:25:38] So there you go. I John. Thanks a lot.

[01:25:41] John Romano: [01:25:41] Thank you Carl.

[01:25:42] Carl Lanore: [01:25:42] And thank you will see everybody tomorrow with a regular episode of superhuman video. [01:26:00]