[00:00:00] [00:00:00] Welcome back to the first episode of open season on men for 2020 today is January 8th, 2020 for those of you listening to the show a hundred years from now, you realize how smart we were. How are you doing, John? Good. Happy new year, Carl. Happy new year, brother. My favorite Paizano. Yeah, that's a Joe Christiana.

[00:00:22] Joe Christiano calls us his two favorite guineas. Yes. So, anyway, um, I thought it would be appropriate to, um, to do a show, uh, because, you know, when I was younger and when I first got into physical culture, I thought people who started to do things using new years, uh, to make the resolution, they were idiots.

[00:00:44] Oh, we do this stuff all year long, you know, but you know. If that's what it takes you to get started on the right road. I think that's a wonderful thing. Um, and so I figured, you know, let's go ahead and, and go with the flow and we'll do an a new year, new year, new decade [00:01:00] show, uh, specifically for men. And since you and I are both men and we're pretty old, we, we've, we've knocked around a little bit and I think we have some interesting perspectives, as we talked about earlier, where it's okay for people to start now.

[00:01:14] Right? Yeah. You know, I mean, you, you use the, uh, the, we're old, you know, uh, stigma. It's actually a compliment. You know, we're, we're old for a reason. Yeah. And as we climb into the, you know, the 60 yard line area, we've lost quite a few people didn't finish the journey or didn't get as far down the journey as us, you know, so.

[00:01:39] So, um, yeah, we're here for a reason. And you know, that reason is the fact that, you know, we have a measured approach to things and, um, you know, like the tortoise and the hair, you know, we, we're, we're going to get there slow and steady, but we're going to get there. Well, and it's funny, I did a memo a few years ago that said, I'm so tired of people saying age is just the number.

[00:01:59] And [00:02:00] I said, no, it's a goal. Like if you're aging and you're doing something right, right. Cause once you stop aging, you're dead. Then you, then you didn't do anything right. Scorecard. You know, it's a, you know, it's how, how, how high you score in the game. You want to hear some crazy, one of my biggest fears is that like, I dropped dead at 65 or 63 and everybody goes, Oh man, he was wrong about everything.

[00:02:23] We don't want, like, I would completely destroy my legacy if I don't make it until like at least 80 you know? Well, you see, I, I, I've had the foresight to see that happening and I said to myself that by the time I get to 60. And I dropped dead at 61. People are going to take a look at me and say, God, it's amazing.

[00:02:42] He lasted that long. Yeah. So, um, instead of Connie was so young. Yeah. Yeah. No, you're right. You're right. I want to be the victim of burning the candle of both ends. Just in case, you know. Right. Short, the short game happens. So right now, people [00:03:00] are trying to, uh, put their efforts into what they believe is the right direction.

[00:03:04] But I, I have a feeling that one of the keys to success is knowing what is the right direction. And I think that identifying what needs to change is, is actually, um, is actually an art. And it's a learned art. And unfortunately, I think it does come with age because when you're young, you have so much energy, right?

[00:03:30] Like everything that went wrong in my life. I'll burn through it. Money, I'll make more homes, I'll buy new ones, and you know, but then all of a sudden when you get to like, I'm 61 you get to this age, it's like, man, I don't want to be, I don't want to have to struggle against the tide. I, it's not that I don't have the energy, but why should I?

[00:03:52] So what do you think about this identifying what needs to change? You think that's the most important? The first thing that people don't even put any thought into. [00:04:00] Well, yeah, I mean, you know, the, the, uh, youth and energy Axiom is really, you know, important because that's the hardest time to reel yourself in when it's probably the most, you know, cogent time to reel yourself in onion and you kind of need that.

[00:04:18] You kind of need that ability to know that you're biting off more than you can chew or that your, you know, your ambitions are way too out there for what you're capable of executing. So, um, what needs to change may not necessarily be the actual pursuit. It just may be the means to get there. So I, I think what most people set out doing wrong is they have an unrealistic view of what they can achieve because their excitement level is so high in what their, you know, or their passion is so high in what they want to do.

[00:04:52] And they, they. Don't see the forest for the trees and understand that those trees are immovable, hard objects [00:05:00] and you need to, you know, skate around them or cut them down or do something. But you know, Sonny bono comes to mind.

[00:05:08] No one's going to get that joke, John. You know, it's funny you say that because that really is the curse of youth, isn't it? Um, w but when you have so much energy, you just feel like, and if that old, maybe that old joke, uh, the young bull in the old bull is standing at the top of the Hill and, and they're looking down at all the cows and the young bull says, let's run down in F1.

[00:05:31] And the old bull bull says, well, let's walk down and we'll have a few of them, you know, it's like, yeah, all of them get, Oh yeah. You know, and that's what I, it's the measured approach. If your, if your goal is to go down the mountain and bang all the cows. Then, you know, you need a plan to get there. That requires, you know, um, the fact that, you know, you can only do them one at a time.

[00:05:54] So what's the best course of action to take there? You know, pick them off one at a time where you're going to try to [00:06:00] corral them the dual mall at once. You can't do that. So, um. You're all at, you only have one operating, you know, tool at a time to  to kind of put, put this in perspective to those who were involved in physical culture.

[00:06:13] Like most of us are that listen to this podcast. I think Lee Haney put it best once. I, I believe he said this, you could correct me cause you're more of a bodybuilding historian than I am, but I think Lee Haney once said, you can train with great intensity or you can train long, but you can't do them both.

[00:06:30] Correct. And then, and he punctuated that with stimulate, don't annihilate, you know, and, and that's very true. I mean, you can, you've got, you have to take a measured approach to things. Otherwise you will break. And when you're young, you think you're invincible. You can do everything you can. You know, I used to, you know, do crazy, crazy things when I was young that would never do today.

[00:06:52] And I think, Oh my God, what the hell was I thinking? But right now there are people in the audience going, well, that's because you're old and you don't have the energy. But that's really not what [00:07:00] it is. You put me on a motorcycle right now, I have the same amount of energy for riding as I did when I was 20 it's just the amount, and when I see the speed at which and when I will do the wheelie is, you know what's measured.

[00:07:15] You know, and I was in , I was a mental case on a motorcycle. The fact that I've only had been had two serious crashes, and I'm still here to talk about it with all my pieces, virtually all my pieces in tact is an absolute miracle. And so I'm not, I don't have less energy to do that. Now, you put me on a bike right now, I'm going to be dragging my knee in the first corner, but.

[00:07:38] But it, but the approach to that is measured, you know, I won't, the chances that the same can go for weight training. I mean, look at, look at how people train today. I mean, if you want to talk about physical culture, I mean, back in the day I would do, I would, my form was bad at fling the weight around. I wouldn't take precautions.

[00:07:57] It would warm up, stretch, whatever though. [00:08:00] That's stupid. Okay. And we find out that stupid because of the injuries we sustained. Now that I'm older, I don't have less energy to train. I have more concern for the equipment, my equip me, my body, and, and, uh, and that's why, you know, I'm, I'm able to claim, you know, what, five or six years in a row now without an injury, without something that stopped me from training.

[00:08:24] And I had when I was 59 years old to make the claim, you know, so what, what, what do you, what do you think. So what is the process for identifying the things that you deserve, your effort and the things that don't I, I'm sure, I know that you have lots of people who want to hook up all. If we get John Romano involved with this, it will be a success.

[00:08:46] And you have a lot of people coming to you and saying, John, do you want to work on this with us? What? What is John Romano? His approach to going, this is worth my time. This is not suffering really. Yes. [00:09:00] Because suffering is caused by desire. So, so how bad read do I want? What's in front of me? Am I willing to suffer for it?

[00:09:08] Because anything worth attaining requires some degree of suffering. Whether that's form of sacrifice, work more hours, more strength, more energy, more money to throw at it, whatever it requires. It's a degree of suffering. So when I'm posed. With an opportunity and I want to, I, I'm entertained by this, by the potential outcome and what it might take to, you know, to accomplish that.

[00:09:33] Um, my first question to myself is, how much am I willing to suffer to, to, to get to that? And that goes all the way back to the first, you know, my first days in bodybuilding, you know, when I wanted to compete for a show and my willing to suffer to take on the, whatever amount of suffering is required to accomplish that goal.

[00:09:52] So, yeah, and that, and that I will say is one of the defining characteristics of being older is that when you're older, you're [00:10:00] not willing to suffer as much. We know that there's other ways around that. You know, the other way around to getting what we want, but you know that that is actually a  certain nuance to what you just said.

[00:10:13] That deserves a little more attention. Because when you were saying that, I was thinking, you know, look at people who are actually going to. Make commitments because it's the new year who have no intentions of sticking with it. As soon as, as soon as the process gets tough, they give up. That's an indication that they weren't willing to suffer for it.

[00:10:33] And those people, like I, I have a friend who is talked about competing since I know him and he's never gotten up on stage. But he talks about it like he wants to. And one time I said to him, cause he's a good friend, I wouldn't insult him. I said, well, why don't you just forget about that because you're never going to do it.

[00:10:52] If you were going to do it, you would have done it by now. And you really don't want it that bad. And when you talk about suffering, that's what it is. It's [00:11:00] how badly do you want that thing. And if you can't say to yourself, I am going to die for that. Then don't even put it in your list of things that you want to accomplish this year.

[00:11:15] Correct. I agree. That's completely right. I mean, and that really, that's what physical culture teaches you. I mean, that really, you know, there, there is, if you're going to embark on any kind of. Physical pursuit, you know, when bought in the body building, quote unquote, genre, you know, and that encompasses every, you know, fitness physique, whatever.

[00:11:36] Um, or even just looking like you do, you know, it, it's, that is not something that's just gonna. Unless you're genetically gifted, that's not something that's just going to pop up, you know, materialize for you. You're going to work at that. You're going to work there for a long time and it requires a lot of suffering.

[00:11:53] And. Yeah. In the form of sacrifice, in the form of Kamene. Well, just, just raw pain when you were of, of actually [00:12:00] training, you know what I mean? I mean, there's a, there's an instant, an instant, uh, pain tolerance that you develop when you start to push your body into unknown areas of, of strength training.

[00:12:14] And that alone, I think the average population, like I literally ripped a piece of skin off my foot today. That was a callus that took, well, I got to go to the doctors now cause I think there's a little bone showing, but it's like, but, but you know what, John, I wouldn't have been able to do that. I wouldn't have been able to, well, you know, when I got the surgery on the left foot, the pinky toe, instead of being up like this is sideways now, so it rubs on the side of the shoe.

[00:12:41] And so I get these huge calluses on it and it was hurting me so bad last night. That I got out of the shower and I picked at the edge and it came up and I was like, you know what? And I went and I talked and then I realized I looked, it was like skin still on it. Oh God. So I'm actually going through the split doctor today cause I want to make sure I don't end up with gang green in it or something like [00:13:00] that.

[00:13:00] But no, but you, you laugh. But the reality is that that constant training of pain thresholds that we encounter in physical culture translates to other areas. Of life too. When you're looking at a project and you're going, am I really willing to put the effort in? Chances? Are you going to put more effort in than the average person?

[00:13:20] Because you already have a high tolerance to discomfort, right? And you know, and, and, and it's, and it's the reduction to the reality of what needs to be done. You know? I mean, there's only one way to build a muscle. You got to lift weights. You know, and then, but I remember when I was a kid, there was, you know, Charles Atlas, what is dynamic tension?

[00:13:41] And there was these pills and the thing you hook up to the door knob and you know, there was all kinds of circuitous routes around, you know, the obvious, there's only one way to do this. There's no, there's no other way to do it. So, you know, you have to, you have to accept reality and, you know, determine whether or not.

[00:14:00] [00:13:59] That's something that you're willing to undertake. You know, it's, I like relating things to things. You know, that you can, you can posture and it's like this whole thing with, you know, with, with shootings. Okay. What's the number one way to prevent a shooting shoot back. Yeah. I have a gun. So that, that's that.

[00:14:21] But that's a difficult reality for a lot of people to accept. There's people who are anti gun that don't want to talk about that. That will just sit there in a movie theater and gladly be shot because they don't want to talk about, you know, shooting back. This is reality. The way to stop getting shot at is to shoot back, right?

[00:14:41] There's no other way. If the heat of the moment, there's no other way, you can't talk your way out of it. You can't talk to rad if somebody's shooting at you. Right? And it's like building a bicep. There's no other way to do it, right? You've got to watch it on with w on the way pile, right? No other way around it.

[00:14:56] That's it. So if you're going to accept the [00:15:00] responsibility of your commitment. To grow your bicep, you have to accept the degree of suffering that goes along with it and be cool with it. And if that's all, if that all washes out for you, then that's what you're going to do. If you're not going to then, or you can omit the, the steps that go with it either diet wise, training wise, recovery wise, supplement wise, drug wise, whatever.

[00:15:25] If you're going to. Foil the system or try to foil the system. We're trying to get around the inevitable realities of it. You're going to fail. So those are the things you have to accept. Like you have to accept shooting back is the reality of what it takes to get the job done. So do you think this, you think like if somebody is sitting here at the beginning of the year right now and they've got a few things that they'd like to accomplish this year, but the reality is.

[00:15:52] Chances are they won't accomplish any of them if they go after these few things. So they have to select the one thing [00:16:00] that they want to absolutely drop dead. If I don't get this done this year and make that the focus, would you agree with that or a component of it? I mean, sometimes you got to break down the goal into steps I use during the break.

[00:16:14] I use the car analogy, the car example, you, your goal may be to buy a car in 2020 but. You know, maybe that's just a little bit too ambitious, given your financial position, your age, or your work, where you live, whatever may be the thing to do is learn to drive first, you know? And then, so that's a step. In that direction, or, you know, get a job so that you can afford the payment.

[00:16:38] You know, there's things that within the goal that require attention in order for you to achieve those goals. And maybe maybe learning to drive and getting a job all in the same year is just too much for you. Um, and that's gonna re that's gonna lead to a failure for you to get the car. So maybe you just got to pick one of them.

[00:16:55] Maybe it's just get the job. Okay. You know, you got a job now you can afford [00:17:00] driving school. So you learn how to drive and now you've got a job and a driver's license. Now you can probably buy the car. Yeah, and that's actually going to take us into our next topic. We're going to take a quick commercial break.

[00:17:10] We're going to come back. We're going to talk about some of the reasons why people really do fail at just about anything. And, uh, it's, it's actually very, very simple when you, when you unfold it, stay tuned. We'll be right back.

[00:17:24] You are listening to this superhuman channel. We're ripped and we're ready like that were ripped and we're ready. Well, welcome back to open season on men the first one of the year. And men have special circumstances too. We tend to be, we want to save everybody. We tend to have that hero complex. We tend to definitely bite off more than we can chew.

[00:17:45] And we're going to talk about that. So we have a couple of questions from the audience. So Jeff Clifton wants to know, what does John, does John utilized meditation practice? And what role does mindfulness play in establishing goals? [00:18:00] Um, I, I don't meditate. Um, well, and maybe, maybe that's not true. I, I do spend time thinking.

[00:18:07] So, and maybe you want to talk about Medicare. Like when I drive in the car, I don't listen to the radio. Yes. Elicit this is, this is a lost phenomenon today, right? Push notifications and satellite radio. And I mean, it's lost. I don't listen to any of that shit. I just listened to the, I just, I just think while I drive, you know, and you know,

[00:18:26] There's other times I'm wa, you know, I picked up this habit in prison of walking around the yard, and you know, I do, I still do that to this day. I walk around every day. I walk up to the perimeter of our property. So I do that. You know, we have two and a half acres, so that's a, you know, I'd do two or three laps around there.

[00:18:41] That's, that's a good walk for a, you know. Well shit into the birds. You know, just thing of my thoughts together. I don't know if it's typical, if you would consider that traditional medicine. Yeah, no, absolutely. Cause I've done shows on meditation. There's meditation, you know, there's, there's movement, meditation, you know, achieve gong [00:19:00] and, and a funkshway enough funkshway that's, that's what you do.

[00:19:03] You furniture. Oh man, I'm really botching it now. What's the other one called? Tai Chi. And there is actually meditation and movement. So mindfulness is exactly what you're talking about right. It's paying attention to what's going on in your mind. And meditation is trying to pause the thought process.

[00:19:22] Right? But, but mindfulness is absolutely walking. You can do it. Yeah. So I'm, I mean, so yeah. So that's, I'm not freeing my mind or thought as meditation would teach. Like contemplating the one hand clapping kind of thing. Um, that's called masturbation. Actually, that's one hand clapping,

[00:19:44] but I'm happy, but I'll have the task at hand in mind and thinking of, you know, pulling it apart to, it's into its components, what it takes to accomplish. You know, each step or make sure I've got all the steps mapped out, you know, and, um, you know, go through them in my mind. [00:20:00] So that's, that's what I do. You know, it's, um, I, I don't know.

[00:20:04] I, like I said, I, I don't think I really consider that meditation because I'm not, I'm not in any way or shape or form searching for any kind of inner peace. It's actually like the opposite, but. But yeah, I mean, I do that, so I don't, I, I hope that answers this question, but, but you, you, I, I would imagine that you tend to leave you lead a tree.

[00:20:25] He said, John is a great writer. Thank you very much, Dan. You tend to to lead a tranquil life, don't you? Well, yeah. I mean, that's the design by design, right? I know. By design. That's what I'm saying. Well, it gives, you know, cause I am an artist, you know, I'm a writer and I do other artistic pursuits. And you need an element of, you need an environment, you know, for, to, to foster creativity and stress and chaos.

[00:20:52] You know, don't live in that realm if you're gonna, if you're going to have creative thoughts than thought processes [00:21:00] in place. So, no, I, I do, I try and restrain Quilty I got this, I got my. Stream out the back, trickling over the rocks, and you know, urban, a very, you know, wooded, secluded area. And yeah, I do. I strive for tranquility and peace as, as much as I can because I don't want any white noise distractions.

[00:21:20] You know, I know some musicians like living in the big city, and that's like a very. You know, you know, we create, reduces a lot of creativity for them. For me, that's the exact opposite. And then maybe that's be due to age or whatever. But as I've, you know, kind of eased into my comfort zone with who and what I am, I've also learned what I need to be, what I am.

[00:21:41] So, um, it's just a matter of understanding that and figuring out how to get it. And w w where that's going to come from and doing it one hand flapping. Yeah. Jeff said yes. And then I gotta I got to recognize the guy who's always here, and that's Danny [00:22:00] Geraldo or Kendo Oquendo who is listening from Columbia.

[00:22:03] He's always here from Columbia. Thank you, Danny. Um, so let's talk about this, uh, next topic. That may be the reason that people don't make things stick. Um, and that is something that is a favorite of yours, and it's just, they just bite off more than they can chew. They, they set up unrealistic goals. That they're absolutely going to fail.

[00:22:26] Yeah, they do. I used to see it in my gym in Mexico all the time. We did this great running joke, how, you know, uh, where, you know, the set of the month of December in Mexico is a throwaway month. Nobody does anything. Zero. There's a thousand Christmas parties you have to go to there. Everybody, you know,  if you're, if you're cleaning ladies, sister's babysitter has a party.

[00:22:49] You got to go to it and, and it, it's. And no one does. The businesses close, the economy slows down, everything stops for an entire month, and [00:23:00] then. January comes, you know, all that partying and, and you know, reveling and all of the party family get togethers and whatever. All that eating that that creates or requires, um, the gym is packed on January 2nd, you know, you go in there and it's like fighting room only, you know, and the big joke is don't worry, by March 2nd, it'll all be gone and true to form by March 2nd the gym has had half of what it was.

[00:23:27] You know, the two weeks before, and it's because people are, you know, the average person. And when you kind of like dig into why you take like the new member and you say like, you know, what's your goal? And you're faced with, you know, 190 pound, four foot eight woman who is, you know, 15 years ago with, I would be you six kids and she wants to wear, she, you know, she wants to, uh, you know, a fitness, you know, string bikini model body in, in two months.

[00:23:56] Right. That's not going to happen no [00:24:00] matter what. It's not going to happen. There is no way to do that with any form of anything that we know today on this planet. There's no way to do that. So you being there with the, with the intended purpose of attaining that in that timeframe, you're gonna fail eerie.

[00:24:18] It. There's no two ways about it, you are going to fail, right? So you have set yourself up for failure, and that's, you know, a big problem with . The people's that people in their new year's resolutions is as they spend all year, you know, kvetching and whining and moaning about what's wrong with them and how they can't wait for the new year to come so that they can get on their plan, you know, to, to rectify this and be a better person and, and better their life.

[00:24:47] And then, you know, all of this anger comes to a head on January 1st and boom, the door is open on January 2nd and man, there's a, there's a, there's a. Stampede to the treadmill, and then [00:25:00] results aren't happening and they're there. Well, results are happening, but they're not happening fast enough for people who have unrealistic expectations.

[00:25:09] Right. Exactly. And then show it. It shows the dream, you know? And then the dream should never have been dripped, but, but, but people don't come up with that idea that they can get in super duper shape. And in three months in a vacuum. Isn't that part? Isn't that part and parcel of a problem that the industry promotes?

[00:25:29] Like Jenny Craig and I mean, I don't mean the industry bodybuilding supplement. I mean the whole weight loss industry promotes this notion that the weights could send a fly off. Don't worry about it. In fact, I would argue that. Planet fitness is business model is that phenomenon. They want people to sign up and they keep paying their nine 95 a month because they keep what they go, well, I have a gym membership.

[00:25:55] I will use it eventually. It kind of mitigates the guilt [00:26:00] of them being fat slobs, but that's their model. Like they sell memberships. No one shows up. Oh, that's great. No wear and tear on the equipment. That's, that's the best gym model ever. 40,000 members and none of them go through the door. That's what you want.

[00:26:16] That's what the gym business, that's what the gym business success model is. Maximum membership, minimal use, hot water bill at the end of the month and the, like you said, the wear and tear on the equipment maintenance, everything is significantly saved when the fewer people that come. So the gym see your profits bigger.

[00:26:36] But yeah, that doesn't do anybody any good. So no. Um, you know, the, the, the whole idea, the whole idea of wanting to change your life and be better is great. It's really, really good. And people should always be thinking that, right? But at the same time, you've got to have a plan. You know, we didn't, we weren't born a little booklet that said it's how to use our bodies and the owner's manual.

[00:26:59] No way, [00:27:00] no instruction manual. And no one can write one either, because everybody's. You know, different, but the fact that we don't have that requires that you'd be really realistic about what your, what your goals are and what you're trying to accomplish. Yeah. Otherwise you do feed the fit and the planet fitness, gym model and, and, you know, make somebody a whole bunch of money off your, you know, misfortune.

[00:27:24] Well, and this is, this is interesting because when we were talking off the air, this dawned on me, but. I think some people are prone to fail because of past success. And here's why I say that. So when I, when I was 39 years old and I was diagnosed with my heart problem and I decided I was going to save my own life, all I did was start walking.

[00:27:49] Then once walking, like once I achieved a certain level, like I was, I made a commitment. I'm going to walk every day. I walked every day. I could feel my fitness level changing. I bought a bike. [00:28:00] I started riding a bicycle around the neighborhood. Then from there I went and joined a small gym. Actually, the Jewish community center had a really nice gym.

[00:28:07] They had a pool. So I went there and I started to to just train upper body, and then from there I started reading literature and I was like, Oh, I got to structure it. So then I started training legs, but this was all over the course of, let's say, a three year period. I just organically got this little task down, moved to something slightly harder.

[00:28:27] Move to something slightly harder, move to something slightly harder. And that is, that is the exact model that I saved my own life and changed my body and changed my, my, my story. But now to 2018 I had two foot surgeries. Uh, I did no cardio for a year. None. And as a result of that, my cardiovascular conditioning is crap right now.

[00:28:54] On top of that, I was only able to train upper body. I couldn't train lower body, so a lot of [00:29:00] my strength gains kind of waned, and so all through 2018 two surgeries, 2019 I didn't feel good. I wasn't, I was just kind of marking time by going into the gym and then I said, okay, I'm going to do it to this year.

[00:29:15] I'm going to start right after the holidays. I'm going to start training again. So I go into the gym and since I've squatted 700 pounds, I expect to be able to squat. And it's like I, and I am going to fail if I think just because I did this then that I can do it now. And the reality is what I need to do is respect and honor the process that got me there and just thought walking and just though, and so I think a lot of people who have had past successes.

[00:29:47] And you, and you know this even in business, how many people have you seen in your life that have built a million dollar business? And then they went on and they started another business, failed, start another business, failed, start another business failed. [00:30:00] And because what they forget is the organic process that they built that first business.

[00:30:05] They think they can escape all that. Oh, that I don't have to learn that stuff again because I learned it already. I just need to jump right in over here, throw my money in, and I'm going to be a success again and they don't do it. I almost think that if you've been successful in the past that you may actually be prone to failure because you lose respect for the process.

[00:30:26] Yeah, I would agree with that. Sure. You know, it's, it's, I, I think you can look at that as another one of those things that comes especially poignant, you know, from a bodybuilding perspective, you know, you, you the, the weights in the, in the insanity that you trained with when you were younger, you can't do that today, you know, 40, 50 years later.

[00:30:47] It's just not potentially possible. I mean, it, and if it, and it fits some way, shape or form, it is the toll it's going to take on you is astronomical. By comparison. So yeah. [00:31:00] You know, I told you on the break, I said, the w the worst thing in the world is the best blow job in the world because your expectations up here.

[00:31:10] Yeah. Every time the situation arises, that's going to be what you want. And then it's, you know, probably not going to happen. Every guy listening to this show either has a girl in his life that fits that category or had a girl who he still thinks about today. Yup. The truth, and that will fact, and whether you want to admit it or not, it's the truth.

[00:31:31] Right in the back of your dirty little mind there is, there is a, you know that image, that one memory that you have that is by far and above all the other ones. And with any luck, it's with the one you're with now, when it gets better every day, but not every Joe down, not every swinging Dick in New York can make that, right?

[00:31:52] No. You know, God bless you if that's who you are right now, but if not, you know who you are and you've got that one in the, you remember that [00:32:00] girl, that one girl. You still think in fact, you probably, you probably go looking for to see if she's still around on Facebook and stuff like that. You know your thing is, you don't even remember her name.

[00:32:08] You just remembered a blowjob. I don't even know who it was, but you just remember how good that was and what she, but and so you're going to, it's the same thing that you're going to measure. That's your expectation. That's the height of the best. And you know what that is. And so every, so every subsequent attempt that the same thing is gonna use that as the benchmark.

[00:32:30] It's inevitable. It's just the way we think. So, you know, as it relegates to your physical pursuits or anything like that, and like, you know, you could, if you could squat 700 pounds when you were 30 years old and you try that when you're 60 I got news for you. It's not going to turn out too well. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, the, the, the, the, uh, the great feeling that you got when you, when you squatted 700 pounds is what's your, it's not, you're not after squatting [00:33:00] 700 pounds, you're after the feeling of what it felt like to squat seven and.

[00:33:05] That's what you're looking for today. And unfortunately the number 700 is attached to that. So anything less than 700 no matter what you do, no matter how Herculean the, the, the, the, the attempt, it's not going to mean what it meant when it had several hundred attached to it. Yeah, yeah. No, it's absolutely true.

[00:33:22] And I guess you can learn to have other things that give you that same gratification, but you just may not be able to have that again. And you know, it's not the worst thing in the world because. I jokingly say to people when they go, well, I used to be able to do this, and I used to be able to do that, and I'd say, well, you used to shit in diapers too.

[00:33:42] Like you don't want to do that anymore. Right? Like if you're going to evolve and progress. Well, what's that? Yeah, I know exactly. Hopefully not. That's all. Not that, but no, I mean it, I guess we have to learn to let go of things. Well, [00:34:00] let me go back even further. Maybe we attach, uh, too much meaning to some of these things and have that how they, they seem to equate to our own value.

[00:34:14] Yeah. Um, you know, it, that's a very good point. What are these things mean to you? Um, and, and it's different for everybody. You know, that 700 pounds squat is for some people a life's pursuit. For some people it's. It's going to get involved. It's going to, you know, interfere with my fishing. So, alright. And this depends on who you are and what you want, you know, and that, and that comes full circle to what you said.

[00:34:40] Are you willing to suffer? So, theoretically, if I wanted to squat 700 pounds against some someday, I would have to suffer for years and years and years to achieve that one thing. And so I have to look at that and think to do I really want to suffer that hard at this point in my life. You know, when you're young, it's easier to do it.

[00:34:56] Sure. And, and the, and the, and the, and the. Oh, [00:35:00] the ability to withstand the suffering is greater when you're younger. And so, you know, w I mean, we typically pick off things that are very difficult. You know, when we're young. I mean, you know, when I joined the Navy, I went willingly, went to boot camp at 17 years old.

[00:35:14] I wouldn't want to go to boot camp. Now, you know, Oh, it was an adventure. Then you were like, Oh, this is exciting. Right. And when, you know, there were ways to make it more exciting, but I wouldn't do any of that crap now cause too much suffering. You know, you got it. It's, it's the suffering. The suffering has to be relative to what you're doing.

[00:35:33] And it's gotta be relevant enough for you to appreciate it so that you can decide whether or not you want to, you want to, you know, endure it. And there's, there's a, there's a, there's a sort of a magical number that you're, it's in your head somewhere, Lou, or you're going to go, okay, I'm willing to do, go this far.

[00:35:52] What would they do this much? But I'm not willing to do. You know the rest. So does that amount of suffering equate to, you know, [00:36:00] what I want to accomplish? And if not, you gotta be realistic and say, you know, I really love to have this new Lamborghini, but I'm not willing to suffer enough. I'm not willing to suffer enough to get it or to to do what?

[00:36:13] Oh, I love this. The whole theme of this keeps coming back to how much are you willing to suffer? And that's directly tied to your ability to succeed in the, in the goal that you choose to achieve. And I think that goes towards, you know, the theme of our show, you know, it's, it's men. Real men back in the day work, we're, we're conditioned to suffer suffering.

[00:36:36] We're just part of being a real man. You had to withstand the cold and the pain and the heat and that, and the diversity and the strain and the stress. And, you know, and, and not complain. Like my mother used to say to me about my father, you know what? All this stuff he went through in his life, my mother would say to me, and he never complained.

[00:36:55] No, it was so, you know, it's like, can I have more? You know. That's [00:37:00] really your attitude and, and you know, but for whatever reason, we're not, we're not a quick, today, the majority of the population had been drugged. A male population is not equipped today to, to, to withstand it. That quantum degree of suffering.

[00:37:17] But you have to do to get things in. And consequently, there's a tremendous amount of mediocrity out there when it comes to the workplace, the workforce, work ethic. You know, there's I, you know, my wife says is the 80 20 rule and she thinks it's now more than the closer, the 90 10 rule right there. There's 10 people out there to give a shoe.

[00:37:36] 10% of the people out there give a shit, 10% of the people care about their work product. Are willing to stay late, are willing to go do it again. If it's not right, where's the other 90% are just hitting the time clock working for that paycheck and they don't give a shit about anything. They just want to get paid every, every month.

[00:37:54] And then, you know, that leads to a lot of of [00:38:00] management. Um, issues that, you know, managers today have to deal with. They have to learn, the managers have to have to manage, uh, a group of people today that wasn't here, you know, years ago. Then they're having to, they're having to compensate for, for bad attendance, poor health, bad work ethic, bad, uh, you know, knowledge base, bad workout, uh, you know, work product.

[00:38:26] Not conscious of what their work product is, what it really comes out, not caring enough to check it and make it good and make it, you know? So that's, and that permeates, you know, all, all facets of business today and all facets of life in general. If you want to. I really love this whole, I mean, it's, it's brilliant.

[00:38:46] I really mean this. It's brilliant. I love this whole, uh, connection to suffering. And it's direct effect on achievement because in today's [00:39:00] world, uh, we have a large number of population younger who are not only not interested in suffering, but they, they don't, they, they, they, they don't, they want safe spaces to go to.

[00:39:13] If they hear words they don't like, like this is exactly the polar opposite of our parents' generation who suffered, fought Wars. Had children who died at birth and never complained about a damn thing. Now you have people who complain because somebody used the word who called them a, a guy when they wanted some non gender specific word to apply to them.

[00:39:37] Yeah, we are. We are really getting good at producing a whole generation of pussies. That's what we're doing. You know, if you're offended, sorry. If you're offended, you may be one.

[00:39:52] That's the litmus test. If the listlessness if you're offended. Exactly. It's very true. And if you, you know. [00:40:00] You know, and that that's a, that's a statement that definitely will offend some people, you know? But it's the truth. We are presiding over a nation of pussies right now. And people who want, they're entitled, they feel like they're special.

[00:40:13] They feel like their rules don't apply to them. They feel like they don't have to work as hard as anybody else. These, this is a real problem that we have today, you know, in, in, in the workforce specifically and in life in general when you're trying to. You know, pursue a quality of life. It's really self-defeating because these people who are so have such a high levels of expectation and low levels of, of, of, um, involvement are setting themselves up to live very mediocre lives because they're miserable, life, miserable.

[00:40:48] They're never, they're never going to make an impact. They're never going to, you know, go anywhere there and they're going to be chronic complainers about everything that's wrong and everything that's keeping them from getting [00:41:00] what they think they deserve. Yeah, no, you're absolutely right. I want to. Can you see it all the time?

[00:41:05] Yeah. No, I know. It's so, it's in our faces daily now. It really, yeah. Bargain with it. We're bombarded with, you know, the media has such a stronghold on what people think and feel today and what the, and what the image for what correctness is. You know, I use this example of the dating site away, the harmony or, you know, one of those, I don't know which one it is, but it's got, you know, a guy who's, you know, one of their members and he's, you know, pursuing, you know, his intent is to pursue, you know, a girl on this dating site and he's, you know, this, this is who he is.

[00:41:40] And his name is . He's got some femme name that's like non-binary and he's got, you know, he's drinking latte and as a cat and he fun hair bunny. He's got the, you know, the bright song on tongue ring. Like what is. What's the guy doing with the Hungary? Poor physical. You know, [00:42:00] you're young in the dating scene.

[00:42:02] You don't want to dough boy, you know? I don't think women want that. No, no, you're, you're right. In fact, wall street journal did an article about two months ago, why young women are dating older men because the prospect's at their age, they're unmotivated, they're unemployed, they're there, they're miserable, they're whiny, they're bitchy.

[00:42:21] And so the young girls are going, man, if I'm going to have any shot at a life. W w I have an equal partner, I'm going to have to, I'm have to shoot it. A guy who's a little older than me. Yeah. To like the checker cap. Cause my wife is 25 years younger than me. Yeah. I should say. Correct. Grammatically correct.

[00:42:41] But yeah. Well, you know, there's a lot to be said for that and I'm, you know, I, I'm living proof of the fact that that's true. You know, that there is. Th the, the population of men today has been significantly IE masculine.  so the point where, uh, you know, there's [00:43:00] a lot of gray areas as to whether or not, you know, as to where the Manliness is.

[00:43:04] And I think there's, you know, we've touched on this before, there's a lot of, not only societal factors, but environmental factors. Um, the, the deal with this, and you know, I'll just give you one example because the media is so complicit in this as, as well as social media, right? But this vegan thing, okay, this vegan thing is like this, this big deal.

[00:43:24] Now, and I, and I've said this on other shows, if there was no such thing as social media, there would be no violence. That's right. Zero. None. But because we have social media, we have veganism, and now to be a good vegan, you gotta be kind of soft because the, the, the it, it just goes with the territory there.

[00:43:46] Is that meatless, would they call it miracle meat or meatless miracle, whatever. It's that meat that's fake meat, but it actually leads and scotch red. Well, they found that that was, has 47 milligrams of, of Tennessee. [00:44:00] Yeah. Yeah. No, you know, and, and, and their, you know, their, uh, their advertising model is a guy with no shirt on.

[00:44:08] It's got, you know, bigger tits than, than a lot of girls out there, you know, because they're, they're estrogen layman, this, this estrogen. And that's just one little tiny, slightly small portal into the vegan realm that, that, that indoctrinates its followers with unneeded estrogen. And, or, or unneeded, but uh, but maybe needed for the purpose of which I so, so Jeff Clifton is talking about the dad bod.

[00:44:35] I really don't think women are attracted to the dad bod. That what? No, no, no. W what? The dad bod is representative of a guy who doesn't put as much effort into his body cause he's raising kids. Right. Or raising kids, making money, whatever. So the guy with the six pack. The image of the guy with the six pack has is a guy who was not paying.

[00:44:59] Oh [00:45:00] man, we just lost John. I got to get him back. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to run a quick commercial. I had to take a commercial break. Anyway, stay tuned right back.

[00:45:11] It's super human radio.

[00:45:19] welcome back. Hey, John's on the other side now. So let, let's get back into this. We were just about to get into a really good rant about the whole dad bod. So the dad bod is the guy who isn't paying attention to his body, but the perception is that the guy who's has a six pack, go ahead. Well, the perception is to the woman that the guy who's got the great body is spending way too much time worrying about his body and not her, not her, or making money or you know, providing security or.

[00:45:48] You know, all of that shit. But they did, they actually did a study on this. So you know, they have those screens that they can watch where your eyes are going to what you look at first. Right. And they [00:46:00] gave women pictures of guys with dad bods and guys with, you know, side by side with the guy with the six pack and the guy with the six pack, with the guy with a bigger body.

[00:46:09] And, and clearly the women's eye instinctively always goes to the guy who's really fit. Instinctively. So whatever they say about the dad bod, it's not really true. No girl wants a guy who's flabby. I don't care who you are. The instinct, the instinct that causes their eye to go that way. Is is etched in our DNA.

[00:46:32] That woman is looking for a Hunter, a provider, a protector, someone who's going to be strong enough to w to fend off anything that threatens her and, and, and able enough to provide for her and protect her. And. Feed the child, you know? So that's instinctive. That's what women, and that's, that their eye goes that way.

[00:46:54] There's no change in that. That's the word it's going. And after the it looks there [00:47:00] and then goes over to the dad bod, the dad bought his societal, that's, that's society telling her that guys spends too much money on is too much time and money on his vanity and that's going to interfere with the time and money he can spend on you.

[00:47:14] Right. And that's why the dad bod. Is preferable because if it frees up time and space for her. So I want to summarize today's show cause I think what we learned today and I, it's brilliant. I mean, I, I have so much respect for your opinion on this because, no, because when you really think about it, this is what it comes down to.

[00:47:37] The reason, the only way you're going to achieve your goals, whatever they are, the first of all, select your goals wisely. Don't select more than you think you can do, but the acid test to what should be in the hierarchy of your goal is are you willing to suffer for it? And if you're not, don't even say it.

[00:47:58] Don't even say, Oh, I, I want to [00:48:00] buy a Lamborghini this year. You know, you're not going to, it's this whole, I think the whole motivational movement gets a lot of things wrong today. Uh, the whole grind, you know, go to sleep at midnight, get up at 4:00 AM, get in the gym, do that grind, grind will always be grind.

[00:48:18] I think that's stupid grind always being grinding it. Like you said, you, you're not even thinking about anything and all you're doing is, is busy work. But, but the other thing is everybody's, Oh, you know, shoot for the moon. Shoot for the stars, and you'll hit the moon. Yeah. That, that's a catchy thing to think of.

[00:48:35] But it's baloney because if you're not willing to even. Put the effort in in the first place. Don't shoot for the stars or the moon. Do something else. What were you, what are you willing to suffer for? Those are the things you'll be most successful at. Be honest with yourself. It's hard for people to be honest with themselves.

[00:48:52] Oh wow. I really don't have the motivation to be a multi millionaire. There's no sin in that. There really isn't. [00:49:00] You know, it's that term beast mode is, is one of the most annoying phrases. , the American lexicon and, and the reason it is, is because first of all, you are not qualified to determine whether or not you are in beast mode, right.

[00:49:23] The nation's somebody else makes by by witnessing what you're doing. Okay. The other person. Th that's like somebody that thinks you're smart. I don't say I'm smart. I don't think I am, but you know, other people might, but it's not, my position is tout my intelligence. It's somebody else's position and say, Hey, that guy's smart, or if not, or whatever.

[00:49:47] Right? So it's this whole thing with beast mode. You're not in beast mode. Okay? You might think you're in a higher threshold of, of performance than you really are, but. That leave that determination [00:50:00] to a qualified onlooker who is going to determine whether or not you're in beast mode. And you know what?

[00:50:06] It doesn't matter if you're in beast mode because there's no such thing. What there is, is, uh, a realistic track to the goal or realistic, applicable track to the goal for which you are willing to do whatever it takes to get there. And if you're not, you're not going there at all, ever. It's not going to happen.

[00:50:31] No, that's, that's true. So don't be East demoed yourself because that's a recipe for disaster because no one can be in beast mode 24 seven and if you're going to try to accomplish anything, it's gotta be the most prevalent issue in the forefront of your mind. Every single waking and sleeping moment of the day.

[00:50:53] The truth, it's the truth. Try to get one thing right. How about that one? Yeah. Try to get one thing. There's been [00:51:00] great. John. Get one thing done, right. One thing I have, I have a very short list. I leave the house with every day. It's just three or four things, and these are mission critical. These, uh, these, uh, if I don't do these, I'm going to, I'm going to suffer.

[00:51:16] So there's where suffering works. The other way, if I don't do these things, I'm going to suffer. And then the other things are wants, I want to do this, but I'm not going to get to it. And I'm not going to lie to myself about it. And you know, I think that, I think that people, you know, social media may hurt a lot of people cause they want to put their goals up.

[00:51:35] They want to say what they're doing, they want to, you know, this whole make a commitment to a lot of people and then you'll do it. That's not true. That's not true. A lot of people actually get gratification, does it? This has been proven. That sometimes when someone says they're going to do something, they get the gratification at that moment of achieving it.

[00:51:52] They don't go on and do it. Yeah. No, it won't because, and you've got to be used and you gotta [00:52:00] that, uh, feeling of gratification has got, is a learned trait and learn. So learn thing, you know, so you've gotta you've got to accomplish things in order to feel that. And if you like feeling that it motivates you to accomplish things.

[00:52:15] One problem that's in everybody's way is that the list is too long. And like you said, I kind of listed three things that is, that is such an important aspect to this whole thing, and I don't want you to gloss over that. The triage process of making that list of three things is vitally important because it's going to determine whether or not you can actually do them and get them accomplished.

[00:52:41] And. It realistically puts a time constraint on what you're allowed to w what your allowable position is going to be on any of those things. If one of those things on the list is go to DMV and get my driver's license renewed, and then you get there and there's 7,000 people online and there's [00:53:00] two people working the booth though the windows, you know, that's not going to happen today because the other two things on the list are gonna are going to have to wait so.

[00:53:09] You know, there's, there's things that are confound you all the way, and if your list is more than three things or two things or whatever, there's so many more chances. You're not going to get those things done. And, uh, you know. It's like around the house. I got a mountain of shit I got to take care of, you know, and it's, it's, sometimes it's insert, it's just seems like I'd come, never do it, it'll never get done.

[00:53:31] And then I do just do one of those little things, and then I can look at that one thing and say, ah, okay, I got one of those things done. Now I can do another little one. And then three years, a couple of weeks later, three or four little things are done and then they're not undone anymore. And then you can look at the bigger thing.

[00:53:47] And you know. It's just you as a person who has had to manage himself. My entire professional career, I worked at a home my whole life except for a couple of short stints in other [00:54:00] places. The majority, 90% of my professional life has been lived on their mind guidance, and yet people who do that have to be very self motivating and self managerial, and you've got to allow.

[00:54:14] X amount of time to to accomplish X amount of things or X thing, and if you run out of that time limit, you got to stop and go on to the next thing because otherwise you're not going to get anything done. You're going to get mired in one thing and nothing else will get done. So we have to come up with tricks and processes and ways to manage our lives and our time so that we're, we're getting shit done.

[00:54:38] And, and with the ultimate goal being whatever you want to do, do whatever that, that, you know, resolution is so to speak, it, it can become feasible because of how you attack going after it. Right, right. No, I love it. I love it. I'm going to end on that because that's a, that's a great, a great message to end on.

[00:54:58] Everything takes longer [00:55:00] than you think it will. Um, I learned that that's why whenever I assess something, I become very skilled at two things. Assessing space. Like when we look at furniture, I'm like, no, that won't fit. Oh yeah. Well, no. Well, and the other thing is assessing the time it takes to get something done, because I've missed the Mark so many times in my life that I know now.

[00:55:20] If I think it's gonna take an hour, it's gonna take an hour and a half. It's always the bill Gates model. Under promising over produce. Yeah. Yeah. The best thing you can do, and you can do it for yourself just as well as you can do it for anybody else. Great spending time with you today, John. Happy new year.

[00:55:37] Carl. Always a pleasure and we'll talk again soon if you have a topic that you want John and I to cover on open season on men that you think is a valuable. Topic that will help the men in the audience. Please email me at on-air at super human radio.net and we will see you tomorrow. Tomorrow we have the renew life RX show.

[00:55:55] I don't know. We're going to talk about, I think there's a couple of new studies on testosterone therapy. We might try to [00:56:00] cover those. Uh, but we'll see her by tomorrow. Thank you for listening today. And what else .